It has been several months since I've posted....but wanted to let you all know that it has been just over a year since H and I have come back together.
Last summer went slowly....he moved back in officially in August. We took a nice trip together in Sept. Have had a few moments of angry outbursts....but mostly we wre "working" together on our R. I am one happy person....and know I've been blessed ten-fold.
To all of you struggling....if you feel that you once had the real connection with your S, and want it back.....than be PATIENT....DB your head off.....and PERSERVERE! Take good care of YOURSELF....face your own issues, strengthen yourself....have faith. Read, and re-read DR....and other references many have passed on. Show your S you will be fine with or without them. Cuz you will!
This year has been work too, not all bliss....but what a change that has occurred since 2 years ago, when all this hit the fan. I have been truly blessed.
Wishing all of you similiar blessings....keep on track and take good care of YOU!
Oh Mooka, I am at a very different crossroads. Divorced, now getting ready to sell our "dream home." H has bought his own home and is living there with OW now. I never thought my life would turn out this way.
I am so very happy for you.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Perseverance is more valued than smarts in DBing and most other places. Outstanding. We are happy for you and it's good to see a lesson learned that turns out positive.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
How great to hear back from you "ol-timers..." you who all hung in there with me, encouraged me when I was struggling and shared of yourselves. I've missed you too!
Will try to catch up with some of your posts, too.
Briefly, for those who don't know my history:
May 03....my suspicions were prover with OW! I Summer 03, found DR, started counseling, H and I lived together at home with our college-aged kids...tons of tension. H is depression....and MLC, IMHO. Fall 03....we just lived together, not any connection. Made it through the holidays, then March 04 H moved out into an apt. Tough stuff....I was trying so hard to DB all the while....and had a great councelor from Michele's clinic. Worth the 1 hr drive each way....also had phone consults with her. May 04....H started coming around...on Sundays...to do laundry??? Kept on doing the DBin thing and was really working on ME....spiritually, mentally, physically working out a ton....and getting more into my job/career.
End of May 04...H invited me to the apt for the week-end....treated me like his date....slowly starting pursuing....Then asked to move back in unofficially in June....by Aug 04, he completely moved back in, out of apt. We travelled in Sept, for 2 wks....really reconnected. Since then, continuous hard work, mostly communicating and not taking each other for granted. Just returned from a wonderful....cruise with him....almost like a 2nd honeymoon.
I am one happy person....and owe it all to God, Michele/Joanne, reading DR several times, and my comrads here on the web.
Continue to take one day at a time, being thankful and knowing I can only control my behavior. I have learned a ton the past 2 years.
I fwomeone wants more info, they could connect my threads...still am not too good at that!
~Cindy