My WAW told me last night that "our" divorce will be final on 12 August. I told her that I won't contest it. That nearly killed my. I managed to keep it together, but I'm dying inside.
If I were to contest the divorce, I would succeed in proving to her that she was right in wanting out (I'm ignoring her desires). If I let it ride, I'm letting my beloved slip away. It seems like a lose/lose situation.
I have decided to let her slip away. Ouch.
Maybe when the divorce actually hits her, she'll see reality. Maybe she won't.
That still gives you time to keep DB'ing, though. Make the most of it. Let her see changes in YOU.
Right now, I'm reading "Love must be Tough" by Dobson. That one explains a LOT. It's almost like he was reading my mind for parts of it. Deals a lot with infidelity, which is not part of my sitch, but the emotional abandonment is similar.
Letting her go, giving her the freedom to do so is part of this process. I keep trying to tell myself that if my own sitch goes all the way to D, and it's rocketing toward it as fast as yours, that I'll still not be "done."
It's fine not to contest the divorce, but did you make it clear to her that this isn't what you want? If you just said..."I'm not going to contest it" then it sounds like you are fine with the divorce. So did you tell her that the reason you are trying to make this as painless as possible is because you care for her and want her to be happy?
You have a number of months left to avoid the divorce or at least establish a good base for reconciliation post-D. But you still need to show through actions that you have changed and that you care.
Good luck
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
