Hi Kim, Life is changing again. Gone into the no contact, zero, 100%. Not much fun. Not really piecing is it. There is a time for everything and now I am waiting. Midwest
A massage may be better than the manicure. But I hope things start to look up for you again, there for a while things were on the right track.
Quote: determine never to hold a job again
what happened here? I hope you did not lose your job, I know that serveral hospitals up by me have been making cuts and renewing contracts or getting new contracts with new companies.
Quote: H misinterpreted the silence
Were you doing the last resort tech. on him? Not talking is not the result here or the solution. That was how I tried it at first, but realized you just don't talk about the R or the stuff around the R, think of it as, I don't know this person and I don't what him know know anything about me, how do I try to be friendly enough that he won't walk away. I know that you can only talk about the weather for so long, but it is a start.
Kim I still have a great job. I was just pouting... H misinterpreted silence as I hate U so, H decided to chuck it all and go back to OW. I don't know if he did or didn't. What a mess. I was gonna try anything to get H into good counsel/recovery setting. Things that didn't work. Now, what do I want. Just to hibernate. The energy this requires is massive. Thanks for checking on me. I'm going for some great 180, now to think about what that might be. M
That is a relief to hear that you are still employed, that would just add stress to your life that is already stressing you out. I have those days too that I don't really like my job but latly things have been going great.
Take it from me on the counseling thing it is something that HE has to deside on not anyone else. I would try not mentioning anything about getting him into couseling for a while and see how that works but if you have not contact with him that should not be a problem.
I would start over and do what was working. But communucate with him what you were trying to do, maybe he will understand why you were giving him the silent treatment.
One more thing to remember that DBing is for you and no one else, to make you a better person, and to look at your life with different eyes.
Kim, I've posted and had it disappear on me. So, this will be kinda short just in case I'm learning to survive a difficult situation. No one will be the winner when this is all said and done. There will only be pain regardless of how our marriage goes from here on out. The damage from his actions is extreme. I am very sad H choses to play at a marriage rebuilding process and then go and do as he pleases. It hurts. I one day will have a success story, just not today. M
Hi midwest - Weekends can be tough when there are unresolved issues. I hope you are able to hang on to the positive thought that tomorrow will be better. And that the way to the better tomorrow is to take control of your life and actions, and plan to be busy and among people who care for you unambiguously.
Hi Slowly, Thank you for the reminder. I will continue to work on me. I am getting quite busy for summertime. Several of the groups I have joined only last for the summer. It is such a good way to meet new friends. I will look for more opportunities for fall. Any opinions on work people becoming close friends? I have avoided this in the past since I thot it not healthy. Only now I know some of what I believed in the past wasn't true. I don't know about whether this is a good idea or bad one. midwest
Hey Midwest ... I am back from TN I will post more on my trip on my thread.
Here are a few things to think about friends at work. Frist of all you would need to find someone that you really trust, and I mean REALLY trust. You don't want your business being spread all over the place by a busy body. Think about finding someone that you work with but maybe not in the same department or floor or even building, example my SIL became really good friends with one of the girls that works in the dentist office in the same complex as her, while she was going through her divorce. Myself I have always tried to steer clear of friendships outside of work because you will ALWAYS end up talking about work. Even when I go out with people that I work with we start the evening out not talking about work but we end up there. I guess too it depends on what kind of friend ship you are looking for, one that will get you out and meet new people or one that will stand the test of time. There will be talk no matter what type of person that you want to become friends with, as I am sure that you are aware of rumors fly, especially if it is not true.
