Read something today which made me think of you guys (I'm an occasional lurker because you're all so smart & funny) .... an infertility blog where the author asked her readers "how often do you have sex?"
As it is a popular blog it got 100 + answers and really shows how broad the spectrum of human sexuality is (and how many women actually want more sex than their husbands/partners is surprising, too.) Anyways, I thought I'd share.
Just read some of the postings and it shows me that my own situation is WAY below most people. 3-4 times a week, daily, twice daily. I'd cut off my right arm with a pocket knife for those levels of frequency. I guess it shows that it is possible for many women to have sex drives, and for other women to be absolutely pathetic in terms of drive. I'm five months into the year and have had sex twice. Man this bites.
Hi Pen! This was interesting; always nice to see that there are other hot blooded mamas like myself out there. Maybe this would help Hairdog's wife to see that there are indeed 30something women who like gettin busy.
When we were trying to have a baby, I could not hardly convince H to have sex with me. I took Clomid and there were certain days in which we 'had' to do it. He avoided these days like the plague for the first two children. It was literally a stroke of luck that I ovulated later than what I was supposed to and we conceived anyway. The second time I was so livid that he'd blown off the XXX days that I didn't think we'd stay married, let alone have another child together. However, my natural horniness got the best of me approx a week later and that is now D2. By the time the third pregnancy rolled around, he had lost most of these inhibitions and hangups and we not only had sex on the XXX days but for about 10 days straight just "to be sure", lol.
I pity any women out there who are trying to conceive with an LDH. It is particularly heartbreaking.
These days, I don't think we even register on the "how often" question. We had a brief spell after the baby was born in which things were semi-hot (as hot as life can be with a baby in the room with you, lol) and then I started feeling bad. Someday I hope to be putting notches in my bedpost again.
That was indeed interesting... and so many HD women out there...way to go!
As for me, the one thing I have figured out is that my sex drive is really variable and I am best off just staying on a schedule, as long as my H can tolerate it. We both agree that 2-3X a week works well for us.
Cemar – I wouldn’t be happy with that kind of a frequency either, but there were plenty of folks on there with an even lower one. What I was trying to demonstrate is that “normal” is very very variable, and whatever works for an individual couple is cool. If your desired frequency is far above your wife’s, that’s obviously not cool, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have options.
Honeypot, I’m more and more of the opinion that the stereotype of the ever-ready man and the reluctant female is simply wrong. Lotsa HD gals out there it seems! I’m glad you and your H got to that place where you weren’t counting, and hope you feel better soon and are able to get back to that place. Rooting for you that you’ll find some answers asap.
Hairdog, I was thinking of you, too … might be just the link for your W. This being an “untainted” source, and probably a good cut through society. If you get the chance show it to her.
Inherjourney, glad you found it interesting, and yay for finding a frequency both you and your H are happy with!
I still haven't made my way through all the posts on this site. Oh my, such a large collection of women who are either happy with weekly sex, or who have higher drives than their husbands.
I guess I always thought that Honeypot, et al., were just anomalies, and that most women really were like my wife...alternating between disgusted and tolerant, and not getting near to desirous. Reading the comments gives me emotions ranging from pain to elation and all over the board.
Why did my W turn out to be such a complicated case?
Hairy, I thought that too until I started opening up about my TRUE sex drive. I used to keep kinda quiet about my situation because I was ashamed or afraid of what people would think about me. (what is the matter with her that her husband doesn't want her?) When the subject inevitably comes up I don't shout from the rooftops, I just quietly say "Oh that's not how it is in my house. I have the higher sex drive." and leave it at that. Well, just this small comment has caused more uproar than if I had said, Oh I usually only have sex with the neighbor's goat. Most of the replies are, You're KIDDING! but I gotta tell you that there are a fair number of women who tell me later on that it is the same in their marriages. I am curious to know how many other ones are just too shy to admit to the same fate.
As I've said before, I think the only women that my wife "opens up to" about her sex drive is her sister and her mother, and they are three peas in a pod; the mutual admiration society for LD women.
I am very down today anyway, as we have been fighting lately, but the more I read, the sadder I get, the more I want to run away.
I should try to get my wife to read that, but heck I can't get her to read SSM or PM, so I don't think I would be worth me to try to put that blog to her.
