My W moved back in and all is quite blissful. Lots of positives. Affection, communication, teamwork, and enjoying each other's company. We have had productive talks instead of pointless fights several times. It feels great. She seems very happy and has been busy recedorating "our home". She is quite talented at it as well.
Her computer had some dating sights in the history but that stopped three weeks ago. Kind of surpirsed she didn't delete the history. We do that regularly to clean up the computer. Anyway, I have left it alone. No confrontation about that stuff. What would it accomplish? She is with me and you should see the looks she gives me. Their is a sparkle in her eyes I haven't seen in years. Hopefully it's more than just the "newness" of our reconciliation. I have written down a couple of things that I read everyday. No reacting, No expectations, No confronting. I am doing my best to trust her and it is working. The less I question the more she opens up. I realize this is quite new but I really like the path we are on. I even catch myself looking at her differently now. Just glad to be near her. It's been a very long time since I felt that way. Not complaining though. TBONE
Hey! Great update! I've been wondering how things have been going. Good to hear that you're both feeling sparkly and positive and working to keep the good stuff going!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Yeah, it has gone far better than I could have predicted. I dedicated myself to loving her even if I got hurt in the end. No guts no glory, right? That fear of failure had kept me from giving of myself 100%. My W really needs to "feel" loved and I think that is why she has responded so positively to me lately. My LF is actually having a very positive impact on things believe it or not. I started reacting to my W the way I react to LF. No resentment, no bitterness, no bad history, etc. I could never get over the past but this new attitude has helped.
I am trying to not "look" for deceit. Assuming the best and giving her the benfit of the doubt is so much more fun than looking for trouble. If she chooses to violate my trust I can't stop her anyway. That is her choice and then I have my own to make. Not looking for deceit but if it is slapping me in the face I won't ignore it either. You can be trusting without being a fool. Two weeks 'til tax season is over and we are going to send the kids away for that whole weekend. We usually take a little getaway but we have a great bed and hot tub at home. Why the hell pay for something we have at home? I think we will talk about meta-physics and the big bang theory all weekend. Yeah, right Have a great weekend all, TBONE
T--congrats, it's always great to see another success story and that DBing does work. I appreciate your attitude about giving the benefit of the doubt, I really try to do that too. It is hard to forget the past but I can forgive. I feel better about me. My H has been home for a month now and it is slow going but I can already tell it is going to be better than the first 9 years we were together. 11 months apart and working on myself really helped.
So much for the plan!! She wanted to go out tonight, I really need to work. She has gone out a ton lately so I didn't budge on working = big problems. She "deserves" to go out!!! Don't I know that? She confessed tonight that she moved home to try to force me out if things don't work! Her confessing of love for me and those "looks" were the great actress in her coming out. I feel physically ill right now. How can you look someone in the eye and lie about loving them. She had me completely fooled. DAMN!!! My friends warned me about her true motives and they were dead right. I keep trusting her and keep getting lied to. You will all 2x4 for this but I quit. She will never stop deceiving me and I can't hear another holllow I love you. That has cut me deeper than ever. I give!
She got home at 6 a.m. Told me "everybody" does that, why is it such a big deal to me. Didn't return three calls to her cell. Trying to trust she wasn't up to anything. She said that she will do this whenever she wants. I only asked for common courtesy. She doesn't have any respect for me at all. This M is crumbling right before my eyes.
When work slows down I will work on GAL and continuing my body sculpting. Lost 15 lbs since Jan. 1 and now want to put on 15 lbs of muscle ASAP. I found a "body shot from my college modeling days that motivated me get back to hardbody shape. My weight loss has really bothered W because she put that much on. Anyway, I will be fine and she is the one with much to lose. My LF says the local single women are lined up waiting for Tbone to be single. Aren't they sweet to say that. Not looking to jump out but good to know I wouldn't be lonely if I get forced out.
