Ioavva, Interesting user name. Care to expand. Thank you for posting. Could give me a rundown of your sitch. I read your dating thread, but I would like to know about the earlier times. The dark times Was it truly over during that time? How did you feel, How did H feel. Were you both in R with others. Just a few questions I have. Thanks in advance for your response.
Ioavva is Greek for Joanna (pronounced E U Anna) as I am Greek and my name is Joanna except everyone calls me Jo. I was ocassionally called Yanna as a child (Greek for Jo).
I have an earlier thread, called 'Hello - my story.'
My H and I went through a custody battle which lasted 2 years nearly and through the year I went 'dark' I did not see him at all, just at court. I started going 'dark' in June 03. He got an OW in November 03 and I had 4 one night stands and a 'fling' as a result of finding out about OW.
The kids were dropped off by OW, not H, so I didn't see him at all. I also blocked him on the computer so he couldn't email me and I changed my phone number. If I needed to communicate about the kids, I wrote to OW, not him. It was truly over and I was devastated, but trying to work through my grief with my life-coach and by doing lots of GAL work.
I wouldn't say I liked it, but by the end of that year, I had come to a point where I thought I could move on without him and be happy without him and then he came back into my life.
If OW was not available, I asked friends to facilitate the child-handovers. I really didn't want anything to do with him at the time.
In June 04 - a year after giving him the silent treatment, he came round to my house in tears, saying his life was a mess and he'd just got OW to try and convince people he was 'moving on' and it was all an act. He missed me, missed my sex etc.
I then let him sleep with me with the primary purpose of breaking up him and OW. I rang her after the event and told her everything and emailed her my (sexually explicit) diary of the event.
She and him then split up and I gave him more time to figure out what he wants from his life. I was 'grey' with him for another 6 months (minimal and to the point contact) and then at the beginning of December last year he started coming round again on a just friends basis but I knew he wanted me.
On 16th December which was our 9th wedding anniversary, he said 'happy wedding anniversary' and that's when I knew it was more than friendship. We had a family day together over Christmas (the first time since our split) an on 30th December I slept with him again.
We have been dating ever since and last Monday he said ILY for the first time in 3 years!
We consider that we are a couple despite the D and are working towards moving in and having a commitment ceremony at some point in the future to publically commit to each other in front of others.
Just wanted to say that your story brings me hope. I have finally agreed to divorce my husband (my story is under divorcing your bestfriend). This is of recent. We have been separated for 2 years and now he has come to me and said that he is in love again and wants a divorce. I still feel that we have a special bond that one day will bring us back together.... but in the mean time I will let him go and have him figure things out. I know that legally we wont be husband and wife but I don't think a divorce burns out that flame that was once there. Plus we were also married in church and that blessing we received from god can't be taken away... Thank you for sharing your wonderful story.
