Anytime a commercial about viagra or any of its' relatives comes on, my H makes a comment about needing it. I always tell him I am satisfied and he doesn't have to worry. A couple of days ago I asked him why he thought he would ever need an ed medication. He said that there might be a time that he couldn't satisfy me. I replied that based on the past 10 years it hasn't.
Folks, somewhere along the line H got the idea that his nearly constant sex drive isn't enough. He isn't sexually confident enough to trust that it is, even though I tell him just that at least once a week. H doesn't trust that in the unlikely event that he is unable to please me, that I will not be able to deal with it. H has himself under tremendous pressure.
Is this a pervasive attitude about sex? What can I do to help him ease the pressure he puts himself under?
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
Sorry, can't help you much here. I view those commercials about the way an Eskimo views ads for sunscreen. But I guess there could come a point where the constant drumbeat of all of the ED commercials could cause even the most confident guy to wonder about that.
John and Choc., Thank you for your responses. John, I hope you don't mind if I lift your comment about those commercials being slickly produced. They seem to be everywhere nowadays, Choc.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
We can't forget that Viagra was initially researched as a blood pressure medication. By accident, they discovered it helped in ED. They then dropped it as a blood pressure medication and went full bore with the ED market because it was wide open and there were millions to be made. That's why there were deaths from those who were already on blood pressure medications, because of bad interactions between medications.
Now with Cailis and Levitra, the competition is tough.
It's probably great for those who do have a physical ED, but those who don't need, they don't need it. Great sex starts with the upper brain.
Perhaps the pressure comes from, I gotta be at my best every day, every time, or her desire for me will lessen even MORE.
I suffer from this, from time to time. I worry that I am not 'sexy' enough, or thin enough, or that the sight of my saggy breasts while feeding BabyPot is turning him off. Worry worry worry.
It's hard to keep your own self image strong when the other person is seemingly immune to you, kwim?
I think he is fishing for some reassurance from you. Unfortunately I know from my own past that this can be a bottomless well. Just do what you feel comfy with and he will have to shore his own image up.
'nymph: Refresh my memory, which of you is the HD? Just as the media creates the image of the perfect female form, there is the perfect male image with porn-star level performance standards.
HP's post
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I worry that I am not 'sexy' enough, or thin enough, or that the sight of my saggy breasts while feeding BabyPot is turning him off.
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Change HP's post to: I worry that I am not 'sexy' enough, or muscular enough, or that the sight of my not as hard as it was at 18, dick is not turning her on as much as it used to.
Also add that when some people hear the problems with aging so often, sometimes they internalise the problem as an inevability, (some day that might happen to me too).
Marketers know what people fear or are thinking and play on that. There is a saying in marketing that a lot of commercials follow: Don't sell the steak, sell the sizzle. For me it means don't advertise the product in factual terms, advertise to a persons imaginary wishes or fears.
How many big Macks would have McDonalds sold it they advertised it as a dougle cheese burger with lettuce and modified 1,000 Island sauce. Instead they advertised it as:
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun, with a musical jingle and sales took off.
My opinion! We buy about 40% of the things because on marketing campaings. How many morinings did you get up and say "Today I am going to buy X, Y, or Z. Later in the day you see an advertisement and think "One of those would be nice" you buy it. (My W was hooked on infomercials.)
The name or styling given to a product also influences our buying habbits. A 1965 mustang with the sheet metal removed is almost the same car as a 1965 Falcon. Mustangs are worth 5 to 10 times more than the same year and condition Falcon. (also see Coke bottle styling) Coke bottle
Most of life insurance is sold to people because people have a fear. The saying in the insurance industry is: "life insurance policy is mostly sold and rarely bought" is so true.
Food for thought?
If you never watched another advertisement, how would your life change. (no bell bottom pants, white shoes, or leisure suits for me)
Thank you everyone who weighed in on this. I can see this from a different POV, and may be able to use this to address this issue.
Point well taken, Lou. I believe most people would be happier if they didn't see or hear a daily deluge of what they don't have or how they are somehow deficient.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
Since we are all talking about meds and drive here, I will ask a question. Is anyone here dealing with low testosterone levels? My W is starting to make me feel like a freak of nature, so I looked up low test. on the net, took the slick little survey, and of course, it says I need more testosterone. Anyone here use it? Does it help? It would be great if that was my prob, I could tie it all up in a neat little package and stop worrying. Rub a little crud on my arm every morning, and I'd be ready to go....
