What's with you and the midgets? This isn't the first time you've mentioned them. Something we need to know??
LOL -- nahh, "midgets" just SOUNDS funny, much like "beets", "beat sadistically about the face and neck", "rutabagas" and "whimpering in a fetal position" do.
Choc., who says to put on a resume under "Interests", "Growing beets" -- just to throw 'em off!
Things seem to be going just fine around the banana household. I have really learned a lot through this whole DBing process. Last night H started to get really frustrated and mad. Instead of fighting with him because I really wasn't sure why he was getting upset I validated and listened to whatever it was he was saying. I let him have his space and took the "as if" attitude. He then came to me later on that night, and apologized and told me why he was getting irritated. I accepted his apology and told him where I was coming from. I am proud to say that this was a much more favorable outcome than how we would have handled it in the past. It is true that your actions can help dictate how the other person will act in return. What a great concept!!! It is too bad it only took me almost 6 years of M to figure that one out!!!
I am constantly learning new things and hopefully I can keep it up.
I have another question to throw out there. H and I were going to meet with a MC. This was prior to all of the great 180's that our R has conquered. We are in a much better place now and have not discussed seeing a MC since things have gotten better. I know that H would go if I asked but he is not fond of them. Is this somewhere I should even venture to go? Would it do any good? Is there any more underlying issues that MC would get out? I feel like I have mastered our majors issues (#1 SSM, admiration, feeling wanted, etc, etc). I don't know if this would be a waste of money or if it would reopen old wounds that we have gotten past.
Thanks for the affirmation Scott! That was what I was leaning towards too but wasn't sure if it was the right choice.
I feel that I am still getting over some major trust issues, but I think that is understandable. Besides time I don't know what else I can do to get past my broken trust.
I just question and evaluate H's actions. Maybe it is normal to evaluate your S's actions in a M. Maybe I am just constantly taking the temperature of the M in a subtle way. At any rate I wonder who is calling him, who/what he is saying over IM, email, etc. Is this normal?
I don't want to bring up my insecurities with him since things have been going so well. Plus he wants to just move on. I feel like bringing everything up again would be like pouring salt in his wounds and reminding him that I don't fully forgive him (yet) for what he has done. I take blame for my part of what went wrong in the M but I didn't look outside the M in anyway to break that trust. At the moment, H has given me no reason to not trust him. I guess this is an internal struggle that I am having with myself. I don't want to be shell shocked again but I don't want to be suspicious either.
