An incredably HOT meeting. I was out shopping with my friend and lost track of time so I ended up late back to my house and H was waiting in the garden with dd4.
He had been there about 20 minutes...opps!
I apologised and let H, dd4 and my friend into the house. Friend used my internet and I made drink for H.
We chatted and H read newspaper. DD4 played with my friend's son and watched TV.
Friend left to go home and dd4 asked to watch pingu. H chatted about his home eding and asked me what I'd been upto. I told him about shopping and the bank and errands I'd been running, and this new yahoo group I have set up.
We discussed the yahoo group at length and some medical issues. I have been thinking about having an operation but H said he'd rather I didn't and I should look into alternatives. We talked about this.
Then - and this is really funny - he started kissing me (his move) and just basically pulled me by the arm into the other room and jumped on me. No, please ma'am, or niceties or anything, just grabbed me and jumped on me, lol
Well of course my resolve to be no touchy touchy went right out the window...normally I expect some kind of warning but it was literally, grab me.
I said 'What do you want?' (smiling but pretending to be serious). H: 'I want you.'
How the heck can I resist that????
He was wearing this double-layered blue and white top (navy blue really suits him) and he's got this new stubble because he's decided not to shave every day, and he had this sort of wild look about him.
I thought he looked like the disposessed Lord of a moorland Estate, lol. Anyway, needless to say, my resolve was virtually zero.
And I had the time of my life .
After, we cuddled for ages, then I told him some stuff I want to do with him and he said 'okay.'
Then we went to talk to dd4 who had just finished watching Pingu and I made her some dinner and H commnted on how the house was so tidy (compliment as he's into his well kept houses).
He kissed me (again his move) and said he was sorry he had to go, but he had to get the other dd's their tea. I said I'd see him next week and would join him to my yahoo group. He said okay and waved at me and smiled.
I had to wait until after my cold shower to reply to your post. Good for you. I think, as a man, that during sex is when I have felt closest to my W. There is a book, His Needs, Her Needs, that addresses this topic well. I think that the ML session you had was a geneuine expression of love by your H.
Sometimes he gets scared of the R and I think, should I be ML with him or not? There are varying opinions.
I think I must be unusual as a woman because as long as he's fulfilling my need to talk etc then I also use sex to express my love for him. I only go off it if he isn't talking to me properly. I view it as the ultimate means of saying ILY so I guess maybe I'm more like a man in that respect?
In fact, even in the M when we'd had a row, it was the first thing I wanted to do to 'make up' - it was and is my way of connecting with him. It's the same for him as far as I can tell.
The only exception being if he doesn't pay enough attention to other aspects of my life, then my drive declines.
I will make a point of borrowing that book from the library. Mars and Venus goes into this subject quite a lot - you should difinitely read that, and '365 ways to keep the passion alive' (also by John Gray).
You really made me laugh about the cold shower. Thanks for that, Kevin and my advance apologies to Tag who will probably hate reading my update.
Jo, I am happy for you. It was like this for me a few weeks ago, W would tell me to come to her room and say "I want you to do _______ to me right now and this is the way I want it ____ and ____." I was in seventh heaven.
Are you flirting with him? Or doing anything to get him interested?
I make a point of NOT initiating as he gets scared when I do, so when he isn't in the mood I don't mention it.
I do wear nice clothes (but then all my clothes are nice) and I will smile a lot and be chatty and use eye-contact a lot and ask about what things he has been up to.
If he holds my hand I will squeeze his hand to recipricate, but I don't do anything further with him unless he kisses me first and makes his intention very clear.
Once it has got to the ML stage, I then get very assertive, 'do this to me', 'I love that' etc and he usually responds very well with what he loves about me and seems to like me taking charge.
Afterwards I will say 'Next time we ML I want this and that and the other' so he knows what he's got to look forward to! Then I go back to being friendly and affectionate but passive.
Then I will treat him like a fond friend until the next time he wants to ML. It seems to work as our R is slowly (very slowly) developing and he is gradually relaxing into a partner role.
female version ????? of guys *visiting meowa* hot dog! Way to go. I like the part where you make him work a little.
------------ Once it has got to the ML stage, I then get very assertive, 'do this to me', -------------- Nice move. I would like to hear something like thst too.
I have been getting my W to state her opinion about our R in concrete terms. Making her describe specific actions or things she needs from me. I got several "I don't knows" and said I can't work with i don't knows. She mostly complained that she felt I am to opposed her. So she described one situation and I said I was not opposing her but was asking her if she would consider not taking her opinion so far that it left little the other person could do except totally bow out of the interaction.
W's opinion about the topic we were talking about did not change. I hope she sees I am on her side but not as far right or left as she is. Anytime I have a slightly different view on things, W thinks I am against her. She tells me I am trying to control her. So after 3 hours of this draining conversation and off and on fighting, we were both tired and went to bed and cuddled.
Hot dogs - LOL. Yes, it is like the female version of 'Miaow' except I still can't come down from this romantic high he's put me on.
I've been singing for hours, going round the house with this stupid grin on my face. I feel like I've just had this love drug and now I can't have it again
I'm feeling like I'm the only woman in the world ever to have a H, and he doesn't even live here! Do you think a man would act that sappy?? I think I'm just a hopeless romantic female, really.
I think you're making a bit of progress with your W. You have at least got her talking to you and you cuddled after you fought - that's better than sleeping with your backs to each other.
I am still having technical probs with my yahoo groups so I asked H and he went and installed this programme on my computer where you can take virtual control of the computer and he tried to fix it but couldn't.
Trouble is, he now knows that I go on this site so I will have to be more reserved about what I write as he's a private kind of person who doesn't really like having his life all over the net.
So I reckon I'll just have to advise others and slim down my own case, or maybe Mr Ioavva will eventually join this site!
He wrote TTFN on msn messenger and I thought 'what is TTFN?' - I thought, omg, I hope he's not mad about DivorceBusting.com, lol.
So I typed in TTFN into google and here's what it said:
Previous: Who's Watching "The D.A."?, April 04, 2004 Next: A Sudden Trip to Peru, April 12, 2004
April 12, 2004.
The Origin of TTFN -- What Does It Mean?
Updated: See this newer post for what I discovered about TTFN after I wrote this.
Over the years, a handful of people have asked me what TTFN means. So here, finally, is the definition of T.T.F.N.
It spread in the U.S. from the minds at Disney, and where it was (and is) an expression used by Tigger, the bouncy orange tiger-thing that was always getting into trouble for being too boisterous. It stands for "Ta Ta For Now," and it basically means "See you later."
Apparently, it does not appear in the books by A. A. Milne, though the expression "Ta" and "Ta-Ta" is frequently heard in England. (Side note: "Ta" sometimes also means "Thank you" in Australian baby talk, so "Ta" can be a sort of "Thank you and good night, you've been great, don't drink and drive" sign off.)
I'm no big Tigger fan. But my old scout leader used to use it at the end of his messages, and I just sort of picked it up from him. And now, maybe, someone will pick it up from me.
Ta Ta for now - thank omfg for that!
Maybe we will have a new lurker yet, only if he does and picks an obsure name, I'm going to have to guess who he is, lol!
Qoute "Then I will treat him like a fond friend until the next time he wants to ML. It seems to work as our R is slowly (very slowly) developing and he is gradually relaxing into a partner role.
Jo, Nothing profound to say except, how nice for you! I hope this is progress in you R and it continues that way! Take care JIM
I forget your sitch? Were you the one with the wife who is dropping hints about dating you??
As for my own sitch, yeah, I feel really lucky to be getting on this well with him. I mean, it'll be a long road but I am a few more steps down it than a lot of people are.
Let's just hope he's not hacked off about me being on this site, LOL.
and my advance apologies to Tag who will probably hate reading my update.