Hi midwest - Great job re-framing the mall trip to meet your walking goals Personal goals are so powerful in helping us look for positives even in situations that we are not completely happy about.
A 180 with entertaining family seems perfect - it will surprise everybody, including yourself, I reckon. I used to have the same issue with hosting duties - that I needed to do everything. Since dbing, I've found that if I can focus on the main event, everyone (including me) having a good time being with each other, the rest will be fine. I'm also less proud now about asking for help.
Anniversaries are difficult - I feel sad too that you will be going through this, and with people around, who themselves will trigger different memories. It may be good to plan activities that will keep everyone distracted, busy so there isn't a lot of time for remembering.
Thank you for your support of my plan to change. DIL wasn't thrilled to hear I would not be in charge of the timing of Easter egg hunt, which day big meal will be etc. I told her I'd have food. No commitment to big bash. D27 and clan arriving in the middle of noc from 10 hours away.....and a day early.....
H was civil on phone. H knows "duty" to keep peace with the hormonal D's and silent S's (smart men). WW3 could begin in my apartment.... H is due for some parenting time and they will be mad kinda at him. The grandkids are too cute....
I'm just trying to sort out all this. Let go, detach, enjoy family. I can DR and survive. I will try. I can do my best.
Michele quote: Reged: 11/01/00 Posts: 2963 Loc: Illinois, USA Re: From Michele! It's an Excellent Read [Re: KentS] #369405 - 11/12/02 08:42 PM Edit Reply Quote
Micheles quote ***************************************************** Working on your marriage means focusing on people’s strengths and downplaying their shortcomings. ***************************************************** Resentment does the opposite! Quote.
I've been reading and reading old wise threads. The answers are sure tucked in here. I am very guilty of resenting my S, the A and the destruction of my family, and dream. I am also guilty of not accepting my part in tolerating the life that created the sitch. My responsibility in ignoring our M.
The same post as the quote has info which nails me for "thots of justification for my feelings" which is like "not working on my M" catagory. I take it to mean I'm so busy justifying I'm not taking positive steps, just being in pain or limbo re: sitch. I'm doing both.
So, my goals continue with one new one. The negative attitude and judgements are over and I will thot stop these. In place will be the consistent decision that "I am going to work on my M" (old thot was I think I'm gonna give it up)
This is gonna be a fun holiday. A new family celebration of fun times together. Happy Easter. Thanks to the DBers of the past and the posts that encourage and support
Personal goals are so powerful in helping us look for positives even in situations that we are not completely happy about. 
DIL wasn't thrilled to hear I would not be in charge of the timing of Easter egg hunt, which day big meal will be etc. I told her I'd have food. No commitment to big bash.