Hi Pamila, I just wanted you to know that I'm following your thread, not posting much because I'm finding I hardly have a minute to do so these days. and I'm not sure I have much to offer other than my support for you. It does sound like you've come a long way for yourself in the GAL dept, which we have all learned painfully is the "MUST DO" part of surviving this stuff. I have to say that I do see still hope in your sitch, if your M is what you want. this long arduous path gets hard to stay on, huh?
I found the post on your thread the other day from leftandnowhy (I thinkK) to be so helpful....I really felt like God led me to that when I needed it.
I thought I might mention to you a book I found helpful: "Men in Midlife Crisis" by Jim Conway. You may very well have already read it, but it sure had an encouraging and calming influence on me, and I felt like I gained a lot of understanding.
I have an all day appt (including lunch since I am such a "big" customer ) with my financial planner and the attorney that they have on staff there.
Knowledge is power and at least maybe after today I will have a better idea of the whole financial realm and what the possibilities and options are for me in that arena.
Well I had my appt with the financial planner and the attorney yesterday and it went pretty well.
I have known this financial planner and and done business with him for probably 14 years. He knows H as well, although H no longer has any $ invested with him, he put all of his pension $ into his stupid business.
Including lunch I was there for 5 hours. He took me to lunch and he prayed when our food came, then looked at me and told me that the two things he could see that I needed were peace and wisdom Spiritually he is on the some page with me.
There are so many things to unravel it boggles the mind... the finances of H and me including a possible S or D; my inheritance from my grandpa; and H's business finances which affect me as well.
I got a lot of questions answered, but got some answers I was totally not anticipating.
I need time to process, but I feel at least 1/2 a step closer to a resolution.
Pam, I want to thank you for your thread. Because of it, I took the time to re-read Proverbs yesterday and it brought me so much peace! Proverbs 5, 6 & 7 reminded me that there are consequences to adultery -- and my STBXH is living them. No reason I should live them, too!
All the best to you. Sounds like the financial ball is rolling. Good for you.
How nice to see you again, what's going on with you?
Don't thank me, thank love_endures4ever, aka Cathy, she is the one who was kind enough to remind me of all those good Proverbs.
The one that comes back to me over and over again is the one about how a prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread. That is truly what happened to H.
He came today in a rather timely fashion to pick up the boys (and dogs) and keep them overnight. He got back from his European trip Thursday night.
He looks like crap.
His eyes look puffy. His face is bloated. He has put on weight. His hair is getting really really gray.
And aside from that he just has a really icky spiritual vibe to him.
I had to excuse myself and go in my bedroom as I couldn't even stand to be near him.
He came to the bedroom door before he left, and said "can I tell you something?"
I told him "no, I don't want you to tell me anything."
I don't want to hear anything he has to say. I don't care what it was, but I have a hunch he was getting ready to say "you look pretty today" or something along those lines.
What he says is just that, words words words, and they are usually lies and don't match up with his actions anyway.
It makes me sad to say this, but it's beginning to feel like it's way too late. I feel like I have been keeping the natural consequences of his actions at bay for way too long. He sinned, he walked away from God, and I have been standing around waiting for him to come to his senses, acting like nothing has happened.
I am sorry to say that my very own husband has become detestable to me.
Dear Pam - I'm sorry you are continuing to face these difficulties.
Quote: I had to excuse myself and go in my bedroom as I couldn't even stand to be near him.
He came to the bedroom door before he left, and said "can I tell you something?"
I told him "no, I don't want you to tell me anything."
Sometimes we do need a break, I'm glad you were able to stick to your defined space. As for the rest of it, I guess we all take one day at a time, right?
Pamila, I have been posting over on Hopefulness. Filed for D on April 1st. Got a signed settlement agreement two weeks before that -- expect the final decree in about a month or so from now. I feel oddly at peace. I do think STBXH is on a path which is taking him away from God, away from his spiritual center, and, if it makes any sense, I will always stand for my M -- but from the sidelines, so I can avoid the coming trainwreck! In that sense, the D finally feels OK for me.
I was continuing my reading in Proverbs and read this section of Proverbs 14:
Quote:
7Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge. 8The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way, But the foolishness of fools is deceit. 9Fools mock at sin, But among the upright there is good will. 10The heart knows its own bitterness, And a stranger does not share its joy. 11The house of the wicked will be destroyed, But the tent of the upright will flourish.
and,
24The crown of the wise is their riches, But the folly of fools is foolishness. 25A truthful witness saves lives, But he who utters lies is treacherous.
Makes me think that God wants me to associate with those who are not fools, who know His way and path. There is comfort there.
) with my financial planner and the attorney that they have on staff there.
