I have been separated from my wife for 13 months. Divorced for about 4 months. Over that period of time we went from a very crazy situation, (typical walk out wife, with me begging and pleading) to a relatively stable situation as friends taking care of our daughter.
At this point we see each other every day, because I take the child 4 yrs old every other day. She was in a relationship for a few months, and was dating, but, seems to have settled down, no dating, just hanging out with friends.
We are very nice to each other, but there is no physical contact, and we don't do much with each other besides holidays or birthdays.
Sometimes I wonder If I did have more space from her it might help. We usually see each other every day and chat for about a half an hour when she comes home from work.
I still want thing to work out, but they just seem stuck although her resistance is still slowly going down. This is such a slow process, does anyone have any suggestions.
She usually only calls me when she is having a really bad day, or a bad situation has occurred that she needs help with. Or needs someone to talk to or vent her frustrations.
What the heck should I do, try to get more space? Be less availiable? Being overly nice does not seem to get me anywhere... Any suggestions would be great...
She is 38 years old and this all started when she turned 37, she said she was really thinking about her life, because life is short and she wasn't getting, any younger, and she was not happy with our marriage. That's when it all began.
I agree, be less available. start working on yourself and see where that takes you. But I would remain pleasant. I think she needs to start thinking of you as more than just a venting post. a little mystery never hurt anyone.
I see her just about every day, but agree with you, and feel like I need to let go just, for my own well being.
Even though it has been more that a year, since we separated and she basically got everything she wanted in the divorce. She is very discontent, now she doesn't like her new friends anymore, she want to move to a new, place, and hates her job. Seems like she would finally be happy, but she is not.
I got into a strange situation, a few months ago, because she wants to move, and I agreed, to it but am now having second thought's because I would be in a strange new place with no friends. But anyways things were going very good, and she was being very nice, until I told her that I was having seconds thought's, now she is very mad and we are basically back to being cold to each other. But I start questioning if that is the only reason she is being nice.
Do I need to just let go, and act like she doesn't exist? May be this could be a good thing because, it might give me a reason to pull back and atleast emotionally get more space. Any opinions?
What would be a good plan? I'll take any suggestions may be there is something I could do that I haven't thought of yet?
She is definitely in a period of her life where she is just disappointed with alot of things, and she's feeling older.
