My ld partner has given excuse after excuse of why we have virturley no sex in our relationship. But I have to say for the last 18 months he has kept the same excuse, bad back, aching balls and trouble with bowels...yes he has seen several doctors, who say they can find nothing. So just wondered if anyone else out there is celibate because of spouces medical problems?
Let me ask you this. When you do ML, and I know it's been awhile. Does he have any problems in that dept? You know...doesn't last long, has a problem getting/maintaining an erection? Anything?
Things like I've mentioned can cause a man to look for other reasons to put off ML. The men on this BB obviously can give better feeback on that than I can...but it's something to look at.
No he always gets an errection, but he never wakes up with one like other men. He used to be very intrested now not at all. He doesnt seem to have any drive at all. I would love a weekend away together but at this time I would insist on seperate rooms and if that wasnt possible seperate beds.
1st of all let me say this. Not all men wake up with erections...mine doesn't, in fact...I can't remember him EVER waking up that way. So do not take that personally.
Next, I hate to bring this up but I'm going to. Has his behavior changed in any other way? Have you ruled out an affair? The reason I bring this up (and he may not be having an affair) is that sometimes men & women who are involved in an affair will feel that they are cheating on the other person if they sleep with their spouse, so they come up with reasons not to. I hate to bring this up, but it's something to look at.
Next, if you are able to rule out an affair. You said he's seen Dr's right? Was his testosterone level checked? Do you know for a fact that he was forthright with his Dr's when he had a physical? When my H initially went to see his Doc to rule out problems...I KNOW he didn't tell him about the lack of sex...he just had a regular physical at first. Now that doesn't tell the Dr. diddly squat, that just means that overall that he's in good health. So are you sure that your issue as a couple was addressed?
I have asked him on several occasions if he is seeing someone else, hes says not....but like I have said before who can be 100% sure. Having said that he has no reason to stay with me, we are not married and the children are not his. The doctors, I am not sure what hes told 4 of them but on one of the occasions I went with him and told him myself, the doctor gave him a clear bill of health, hes had all the bloods you can think of done. that doctor just said it would happen when it happens
Thanks for clearing that up, that sounds like what my H's Dr. said to him too....not very helpful huh? In fact I felt like my H's Dr. wasn't being very sympathetic to our plight.
Ok...so you aren't married, he's not the father of your children. Why do you believe he stays then? Do you believe he really loves you? Or are you left wondering how he feels about you?
Back I had back surgery 1981 and wanted sex a lot after surgery but every time we did ML I was in pain for a couple of days, The recovery took 6 to 9 month but by then my W started to lose intwerest in ML.
Bowels Excessive gas only painfull ocassionaly, and not wanting to stink out the bedroom is only a problem occassionaly.
Balls Last time that happened, they were a little tender after ML 3 or 4 times a day on the honeymoon. Boy, would I love to be in that prediciment again.
Morning wood / erections upon waking Happens sometimes, especially if part of my dreaming process or subconsious thinks about peeing while half awake when I have to go bad. Also If I urinated about an hour before getting up and we cuddle before I get up for the day. Sometimes even if we did ML the night before.
Causes of no sex, using the 3B to avoid sex? Other reasons / complaints he will not bring out into the open for some fear. Not a sexual guy. Depression, Worried about making it in his business, secret debts or resentments, Thinks you are using him to raise your kids and stay because you need him but don't really love him? Just a couple of things to think over, not saying any are true.
I am not HDH, just normal. W calls me HD but I lose interest in sex if there are alot of problems in the R. Even with troubles, resentments and angers, I have a difficult going without sex for longer than 2 to 4 weeks. W said she could go without for a month to a year.
Sorry if I am not much help. Just say no other guys replied so far. Other gal's replys are very valid so far.
I had IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) or at least something resembling it. When I had attacks of that I didn't even want to talk or see anyone else. Walking, let alone ML was seriously painful (even masturbating was not easy-certainly not enjoyable). My W has a neuromuscular condition which, at worse, limits positions we can use when we do ML.
IBS is NOT fun. I have had it for years, but I find if I follow the drs directions and watch what I eat, its better and limits flare ups, I also have Fibromyalgia, I have not had a bad flareup of that in years, but I don't recall it ever stopping me from having sex, but then again, back then I wasn't getting any sex lol
Have you had your cholestoral checked? I managed to see my doctor when I had such an attack and a blood test showed my triglycerides to be way high. Going on lopid has prevented further outbreaks.
