Recently, we've had many requests to start a new forum, for people who might be divorced, but aren't quite ready to give up on their DB'ing efforts yet.
Sometimes, they might also be in the middle of the divorce procedure, and are sensing some ambivalence and hesitation from their spouse.
This could also be a great place to post some "11th hour" success stories, where the divorce plans are called off at the last minute.
Maybe a place for some stories about people who have divorced, and later ended up getting back together again.
Let's use this new forum as a place to offer support and guidance for people who seem to be in their "final stages" of their marriages, but still have some hope left for a better outcome.
There may be some other appropriate issues for this forum that can fill a void between some of our other forums. Let's just see where this goes! What do you think?!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
Is there anyway to copy the article to this forum? I got bumped off the internet and when I came back to that site it wanted me to become a member. I got a little way into the article and it was very interesting and would like to read more.
Mary
"God, help me keep my head up, my heart open, and know I'll always be guided along the path."
Thanks! As I said, there were several people who were asking for a forum like this, so here it is! Even after all the paperwork is signed, and everything seems to be all said and done, you never know what the future holds!
You see so many times where the spouse who has left has it in their minds that a divorce HAS to happen, in order for them to start fresh. And a lot of times, it does. The "pressure" is off, and it could help them to see things in a different perspective. It could possibly give the marriage a chance for "a new beginning". And if we're able to do things "right" this time, there's a good chance of that happening!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
I was working at a customers house last Saturday for approx. 5 hrs. The H hung around a lot and we just did the basic talk thing. Then I told him how he and his W reminded me of that great Dodge commercial, where the H is suppose to buy a antique table and comes home with a motorcycle and the W playfully punches him in the stomach. They were playful like that. Then the H starts telling me how this is their second marriage to each other. He said they were divorced for 8 months and then got back together. Before the D, he went through all the heartache, tears, depression thing. His W accused of things he didn't do, said he wasn't mentally stable cause she saw how sad he got about the divorce.
They had 4 children, from young to teenage age.
He said that after the divorce, he G.A.L., his w saw how great his life had become and she found much attraction to him again and became intrigued. So much of it sounded like the principles given here. Before he was trying to help with everything and buying lots of things for her, he said something like he slowed way down after the D. They renewed their vows 8 months later.
Something that I found interesting was that he said his W also had a really rough childhood and that his wife put up walls and he believes that she couldn't handle a man that was truly good to her and loved her that much. He thinks that they will reject those who are truly great to them and feel like they don't deserve it. Of Coarse, this is just one of the reasons their marriage had trouble, but he thinks it played a role.
He was a great guy who ended by telling me that maybe it was meant that he told me his story.
Great new forum! I have two friends who remarried their ex-spouses post-D, one after 1 year, one after 5 years of separate lives. Learned from both that it was very important to GAL, and by doing so, to capture enjoyment of life and to let go or work through any resentments.
For the WAS who thinks D is the simple solution to their troubles or that the LBS is the source of their distress, it may take this "school of hard knocks" approach to learn that life is always a mixture of pleasure and pain, and this is not brought about by one other person, but just is how life is. I believe in the ability of GAL to remind the WAS of their original attraction to the LBS, as well as its ability to shape new attractions.
I'd like to see a posted version of that article as well!
I am awaiting our D. What do you think are our chances for remarraige a third time? Both time we were married about 13 years. 1st M at 18 yrs old, 2nd at 32, now we are 47. We remarried each other-both times. Not too many statistics on remarriage to the same spouse a third time!
What do you think?!