annette and everyone else who got pissed from that posting: sorry. next time, I'll hit the "back" button before I post crap like that. My last entry was a vent/rant/pissy-mood posting. Of course it came out wrong. I wrote it at work, which was stupid. I'm not that much of a bastard really.
Liese wrote:
Quote: Get her into counseling and you too. Stress/adrenal fatigue can tire and put on weight without trying.
She doesn't seem to want to go. It's her decision. I've suggested it a few times.
Quote: What caused her to be depressed in the first place?
My affair with OW for 2 years and physical/chemical changes after D3 was born.
Quote: Exercise with her? Walk with her?
I sure would. Once again, it's her decision. I've suggested it.
Quote: What could you offer a 20 year old that another 20 year old couldnt?
The truth is, probably nothing. I don't want more children to take care of. I'm not in the same generation.
NOP wrote:
Quote: Your spouse has been through hell for a while now. She has tolerated your affair as well. Frankly, I am amazed at the woman.
I already know that you think anyone who has an affair is a selfish person and unworthy of their spouse for the rest of their lives, so I expected these comments. Won't I always need to be reminded that I cheated, I loved another woman, and now I'm paying for the rest of my M? Should my W kick me out, file for a D, and "set me free" or would that be too good for me? Please, enlighten me.
W says that she has forgiven me for the affair, and I believe her. I have no choice but to believe her. OW is just a bunch of memories now. I'm not looking for another woman. I still have hope for reconciliation in most ways with my W. I guess I have to wait another few years and see what W wants to do. Or something.
TNC wrote: -------------- I already know that you think anyone who has an affair is a selfish person and unworthy of their spouse for the rest of their lives, so I expected these comments. Won't I always need to be reminded that I cheated, I loved another woman, and now I'm paying for the rest of my M? Should my W kick me out, file for a D, and "set me free" or would that be too good for me? Please, enlighten me. --------------
Ok, I will tell you what my problem with you is.
Selfish is as selfish does.
Your posts exude entitlement.
I can understand that we are all here because of being sex starved in our marriages. I understand the anger, I even understand some selfishness.
Beyond that is where I see you.
My last honest piece of advice for you: If you want to have great sex with your wife, then forget about yourself for a while, and fall back in love with your wife. I am talking about the real person she is, the one you married, not the traumatized version that you helped create.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
OMG!!! I don't know where to begin to respond to that bunch of crap you just spewed forth! You're W is dealing with medications that can cause a plethora of side-affects, not to mention the pain of you having an EA as well, but instead of recognizing the amazing effort she's putting forth to correct the situation you concentrate on YOU, YOU, YOU!!!
I'm really hoping that all you were doing is venting and didn't mean what you said because if you did....buddy, you're an S.O.B. However, for the time-being I'm going to put a cap on the steam coming out my ears and try to give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't mean what you said...however if you did, be fully prepared for a hand to come through you computer screen to smack the crap out of you!
Thanks Chris, we all get to the end of our ropes...*gazes in mirror*. Do a search on adrenal fatigue. Alternative healing wellness drs have a way to boost the adrenal system and it DOES work!
You go to the counsellor and get some counselling and MAYBE if she sees you REALLY trying she will too.
Is there something on your psyique that needs toning? Invite her to help you work on it? Hold dn your ankles for situps or crunches kinda thing? (whatever it is make it look hard)
OH figure out what is important. Remember the playing an instrument in an orchestra example someone gave me for the dissapointment of ED?...now whats important? you playing your instrument or making wonderful music WITH your wife? Or joining a HardRock Band and bailing? (or would that be balling?)
Have you discussed leaving with your wife? If you have I'm betting you did it on the "W's fault cuz she won't give me any" point of view. Not the "I may in fact be sick for I need release like a drug and I don't care where I put it so let me go. Its not your fault wify." point of view. --Possibly somewhere inbetween lies the truth. Find it.
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Quote: sorry. next time, I'll hit the "back" button before I post crap like that. My last entry was a vent/rant/pissy-mood posting.
I'm glad to hear that.
Quote: Won't I always need to be reminded that I cheated, I loved another woman, and now I'm paying for the rest of my M? Should my W kick me out, file for a D, and "set me free" or would that be too good for me? Please, enlighten me.
No Chris, I doubt you do need to be reminded...many of us were merely reminding you of the work she's put into your marriage...getting past an EA is no easy task. That's why your rant, selfish as it did appear, made you look even more selfish. If she can do that attempt to go off her meds and right her mind to try to improve things for the both of you then you need to be looking at the bigger picture in order to appreciate the efforts and progress she is making.
Good luck bud, we all have bad days...it'll get better. GEL
