No I have not gotten the official okay..you know the one..where he checks things out up close and personal. But I feel really good. Isn't that enough?!
Honey, who had a terrific birth with no trauma......now is it enough??!
Shall we go into physiology 101 and how this is not a good thing in the LONGTERM sense even though it might not hurt???? Infections come to mind and that would be awful especially while breast feeding. Just a couple of weeks longer to wait to play.
You know, I am actually starting to chicken out anyway. Things have gone rather well between H and I today and I was contemplating doing the deed tonight and started to get cold feet. Well, actually the feeling has nothing to do with my feet but you get the drift. I started to feel quite scared at the prospect..
Of course, it is always scary the first time. I was much worse off physically with my other two D's, though. With D#1 we didn't do anything until she was 5 mos old. With D#2 we waited until 4 weeks when I got clearance from the doc. My appt is next Monday and I do believe he will give me the go-ahead. I am trying to take what you are saying to me under consideration (infections, etc) but it is hard and I am a stubborn woman.
I'm not an OBGYN, nor do I play one on TV. HOwever, what's to get infected if there was no trauma? HP previously said she had no tearing or episiotomy to contend with. It would seem to me that she just needs wait long enough for everything so more or less go back together and stop being sore. Of course that's up to her doc and to her, but I didn't see what would be a show stopper, which is why I asked HP if she was going to ask her doc about it last week.
HP, like I said last week, call him, the worst he could do is say no, which is where you are right now anyway. Not sure it's going to matter since you said earlier on today that you were NOT going to initiate for the first postpartum romp, and you've brought up the fact that H isn't too inclined to initiate. It would be good to have the Doc's blessing so that it is available should H decide to move on it though.
We ran errands, got home late, the kids were so wound up that they would not go to sleep. It was TEN o'clock, yes 10:00, before they quieted down. I was getting sick of going in their room and threatening them within an inch of their lives and, besides, it wasn't working anyway. (normally it works the very first time!)
When H and I finally got to bed, we were both tired and H was VERY concerned about the time. You all know that he is nearly obssessed with the time and how many more hours of sleep he will get til the alarm rings. Me...I'm lookin at the clock thinking, Ah the baby will be up in a couple hours. lol
*Though I should give credit where credit is due and say that H gets up with baby, too, even though he has to go to work in the morning. I have never asked him to do this; it's just the type of guy he is. He gets her, changes her diaper and then hands her to me to nurse. He's a fantastic dad.*
So we're laying in bed and we are about to go to sleep and he opens his mouth to speak. I am expecting him to say Good night when instead he says that he loves and desires me. I was surprised! I said nothing and he continued, "I know you don't believe me..." I said that I have never doubted his love, although every time I question his SEXUAL desire he always says that I am questioning his love. He glossed over that and said, Well whatever..I do desire you and here is the proof.
He then showed me this lovely hardon he had and placed my hand on it. At this point, I am totally confused. I know that he doesn't want sex, and yet here I am touching his hard member. What was I supposed to do at that point? Stroke it? Admire it and back away quickly?? WHAT
So I absentmindedly stroked it but made sure to keep it light so that he would not think I was trying to stir something up. After a few minutes I pulled away and tried to make sense of it. Eventually I blurted out, Just what is all this supposed to mean?
H: "Well I don't want to have sex because it is too late but I wanted you to know that I desire you anyway."
HP: "You have to understand that, to me, that sounds like a person saying 'I am so hungry, I am so hungry' and yet they won't eat even though there is food right in front of them. Would YOU believe that this person was really hungry?"
H: "How about we reschedule for tomorrow night, since this night turned into a disaster?"
HP: "That's fine."
For about 15 minutes my emotions were all over the place. On one hand, I was thinking 'If only I were sexier...then he wouldn't be able to resist me, especially if he was already hard and my hand was on him...' OTOH, I was thinking 'This is more of the same from him. This is how it will always be--if the outer criteria is right, then it will happen. Desire does not play a part in this at all.'
They were all negative thoughts so I kept them to myself and snuggled with him, though it was hard. They slowly started to get a little positive. I began thinking that I appreciated his effort, even if it was confusing and somewhat insulting to me. He acknowledged sex instead of pretending like he had no idea what was going on.
So, today, I simply don't know what to make of a man who has not had sex with his wife in over a month..who does not mbate..and who had a nice lookin hardon and his wife stroking him and STILL says Yo I need a raincheck.
WHAT am I supposed to make of this?
I am trying to be positive but it is getting increasingly harder to believe him when he talks of desire.
On another note: JoJo you will be glad to know that I am calling my doctor today. You have effectively scared me into doing the right thing, lol. GGB, Jo was referring to the insides being healed up not the outside. There are infections you can get in your uterus--because it is not 'closed' I guess--if you do not take your time.
Having said that, though, I do feel good. We'll see what the good doc says.
Quote: So, today, I simply don't know what to make of a man who has not had sex with his wife in over a month..who does not mbate..and who had a nice lookin hardon and his wife stroking him and STILL says Yo I need a raincheck.
Is this a throwback to the seminary days when you got points with God for self-control in the face of temptation? Does he still feel that not giving in to desire, even when it would be legitimate, is being strong and good, and that giving in is weakness?
