I have a story to share that may help. My dad had an affair. My Mom immediately divorced him. Dad broke off the affair and started coming around more under the guise of seeing the kids. Mom started warming up to dad. They decided to try again but at a slow pace. They started dating. We kids had no clue that mom and dad were dating. They dated for a year. They decided to sell the house and buy a new one to get a fresh start. They remarried. They have been back together for 25 years. They are my inspiration that love can be reborn.
Thanks for sharing your parent's story. Sounds a lot like mine.
The latest news here is that he says he has enjoyed the time he spent with me and the kids. He enjoyed seeing the kids and having "company". He then goes on to say that when we are together, he feels like he is with a really good friend. He says he didn't want to tell me because he was afraid he would hurt me.
I told him that I had pretty much moved on, and that those two days were "trial" for me too, that I was not hurt. I, on the other hand, need a little more then two days to make a decision on whether or not there is anything left to salvage. He insists that he is screwed up in the head, that a lot has happened between us, and he doesn't know what to think or feel anymore. Neither one of us has sought counseling over this, and he isn't going to. He also claims that he wants us to hang around together and be friends. I think that isn't a good idea since the kids may get false hope. Your story proved that theory, since you had no idea that your parents were dating. I don't want to see the kids go through all the pain again.
So, I am not sure what to think. I know he is definitely going through something, he is so moody. Happy one minute, deeply depressed the next. I don't know if he is in MLC or what. But I do know that it is all his to figure out. That for now, my life goes on as it was. I just don't appreciate the head games, the "I want you, wait, no I don't, wait, yes I do" I can't and won't play that game.
I just figure that this is probably normal process for people trying to reconcile to be doubtful at times. This to me just seems a but excessive and abnormal. Am I right? Am I doing the right thing by being done and continuing to move on?
Just have to vent things here to get them off my chest.
Since my last post.......last week, my ex has been all over the place. He called me one day and I could tell something was wrong. I asked him if he had been crying. Without getting into the details of what he did, he tells me he needs my help, I need to take him to the ER, he tried to commit suicide. Now, I saw this coming...I'm not stupid. He called his mom to babysit here, and I went and got him and took him to the hospital. Now, the whole time, he was clutching my hand, huggy, rubbing my back and all that. I did not play into it. I was very angry at him for what he did, but as he requested, I sat there with him for 10 long hours.
Later on in the week, we had a blow out. I told him he was playing head games. A push/pull type of thing and I wasn't going to play anymore. I can't have a PMA if I am playing these games. I told him we were NOT going to be friends and hang out, it wasn't healthy and it wasn't normal. That we would have a friendly business relationship and nothing more. I also told him that if the bs continued, I was selling the house and moving. He told me he would respect my wishes and leave me alone, just please don't move. He has kept his word for the last three days.
So, tonight for the first time that I know of, he is out for the night. He isn't saying with who, just that he is out of the state. I figure he hooked up with the OW that he had an affair with, even though they broke up.
