Hi all, My H has been going through alot as I put on my other posts. Money is his biggest concern and losing all that he has. Then he has been really ugly to me as it was my money that we always had and its gone. He is at home but he says he still loves the OW and that he doesn't want to go to therapy and he doesn't want to get over her. He tells me that he loves me and for me to find someone better than him. He is staying at the house and said he isn't going back to her. I told him if he really loves her to PLEASE LEAVE and don't ever come back. He WON'T go. I don't understand. Maybe he can't afford to go but she does have an apt. Before he told me that she had 3 personalities and that he really could never be with her and she was so imature (22). He plays so many games. He told me last night he was going back to her and I left and came back a few hours later and he has never packed or even left. I just don't know if he is trying to hurt me to make me hurt as much as he is hurting or what??? Michelle if you are there can you respond to this PLEASE!!! He still tells me he loves me. I'm so confused....He told me today that he wasn't going to be my lover anymore. Our finances are really getting bad and I'm the only one working. I'm angry with him but I told him that he can find something he likes and it would make him feel better being busy and making money and all. He is like in a hole and can't get out.... HELP!! Rowena
Well, he is still at the house and I told him to leave...he won't. He says its his house and he is staying for our son. I told him that it would be better if he just leaves. He can't stand all the bills but won't get a job. Well, this morning he was more civil and is applying for a job at a Pawn Shop (which he visits alot....) We are down to nothing and he either has to S or get off the pot!! He wants to sell the house and him get his share....I don't think so as my money was put into it. He won't go seek help just says he can handle it by HIMSELF... Well, I don't see a why to throw him out...if so how do you do it??? I do love him but this is stupid to put up with all this. To me families need to stick together through money crisis not pull away and not do ANYTHING. Someone told me "Don't let the bastards get you down". thats hard to do when you love someone. Its really hard for me to be strong but I'm trying. I keep reading about doing for me and my son but I have always done for him too...Rowena
I made my H leave!!! I told him to go or I would call the cops. Got on the phone and started dialing. Luckily he left b4 they got there but a friend was forced to have her husband forcably removed. there may be repurcussions though, legally, dont know for sure. Only tried this once, and didnt have to press any charges, but I was mad enough to come up with some if I had had too. We had been fighting and I was prepared to tell the police I feared for my safety, I did! He was crasy that night! The last time he refused to leave, I am glad he didnt, I let him stay at 1st because i was worried for him and after that things got better.
Only YOU know how far you are willing to take it! Maybe social services can offer some advice?
Thanks for your help. I don't know either what to do. He threatens to leave but doesn't. He called me at work today and ask me....I'm hurting you aren't I??? Well duh!! Then he said maybe I should leave. Of course he has no place to go. He turned down a job offer yesterday because it wasn't enough money...Well its more money than 0 money. Anyway he has to decide what he wants to do but I'm trying to do a 180. Going to lunch with friends etc. He is beginning to ask who I was with etc. He is getting concerned I think!! Every day is something new...I really don't know what to do. Thanks again.
Rowena - Okay, this is getting ugly but your H is acting like an *ss. I'd suggest getting a lawyer IMMEDIATELY to advise you, but if you just want his dumb butt out, then wait til he leaves when you know he will be gone for a while, call a locksmith (who you should have notified already to be waiting for your call), and have them change the locks. Put his stuff outside. Then call the cops when he comes back. Don't wait til it gets ugly, call them as soon as he returns.
Sorry to be so blunt - but I used to work as a domestic violence advocate, and getting these guys out of the house is NOT easy!! Not that you have dealt with that, just in general if they won't go voluntarily, it's a real pain to get them out. If you throw him out, especially if there is an OW, the cops are usually very helpful.
Keep your head high and take care of you!! ((hugs)) Tricia
Thanks Tricia. I can do just that but I really don't want to be there when he returns. He has a bad temper and we live about 20 min. from town and by the time the cops got there it may be too late. He said he will just break the windows etc. I don't really want my son to be there either as he is already upset by what he has done. I will have to think these things out. If he goes to her One more time I will do just that but not be home...I told him NEVER again. When he leaves he will NEVER come back. I think that is why he hasn't left yet. Besides, he thinks its HIS house and he gets half.... Thanks for the suggestion....I will keep that in mind!!
Rowena, I read your Post on another & sought you out. Having read your situation, it sounds scary. Have always believed in marriage but not in your circumtances. Like Tricia suggests, run do not walk to a lawyer. Do you have any family, ie brothers? My sister had our brothers go & ask her H to leave our mother's house after they had moved in with her & he wrote a suicide note threatening everyone in house, my sister, their kids & my mother. See a lawyer, talk to women's crisis center, talk to police. see if you can get restraining order or something similar. I checked, you're in BCS, are you connected with TAMU? Is there someone there you could talk to there. There are lawyers on campus for the students. Also most lawyers will give potential clients 30 -60 minutes free to see if they can help. If you do this it might serve as SHOCKTREATMENT for your H. Can you prove that all of your money went into house & support of family? Well, enough of this gloom & doom. I hope he gets his act together and you get what you want. And your life becomes happier. Give your son your love, he probably needs you more than ever with his father acting so weird.
