I have just finished reading SSM to myself and read over half of it out loud to my husband.... this is all new to me and I am not sure where to go from here. We have been married for almost 5 years and I have been struggling with his lack of interest for all 5 of them. I swear he would go months without ML..I can't and we get in fights about it all the time. This book is the first time he has heard from someone else how devastating it is to be the more highly sexed partner...always quesetioning your self worth. I am not sure how to go about asking questions on this message board and I dont want to go on and on in my first post. Anyone out there who will guide me along? I want to save my marriage...
The fact that your H would even listen to you read SSM aloud means that there is a lot of hope for your situation. In addition to SSM you should read "Passionate Marriage" by Schnarch in order to understand what many on the boards are talking about. If you read back a couple days on HeapMom's thread you will see a 5 step plan that I wrote that kind of condensed a lot of theory into some concrete actions. I've been very successful with this approach and so have some others who took similar actions with variations due to their own particular circumstances. You'll get a lot of support on this BB and even some laughs.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
My H actually asked me to read it to him!!! We were travelling by car so I had his attention. It was great to finally have him hear from someone else how his LD was affecting our marriage. It has helped me alot to I just am not sure how to implement all of it into our marriage at this point. I am kind of on that "Why should I have to do anything" kick. I have been doing it all for 5 years... wrong I know ..I am working on it.
Welcome to the most useful and friendly forum on the net ricsgrl. You are off to a much better start than most of us. I couldn't get my W to even look at the cover of the book let alone read it and here I am six months later with a love life 12 times better than then! (3x per month instead of 3x per year). Your title says "So many questions? So little time..." and you will find that there are plenty of people, woman and men (mostly HD but some LDs too) who will try their best to answer your questions. As to the time. Well many of us have been in SSMs for 20+ years so you are ahead of the game. One first suggestion. Don't think of yourself as ricsgrl. Be your own grl! Ric must earn the right to be grlsric! SD - Feeling great and wishing everyone the best of luck.
