As I continue to ruminate about my marriage, a question came to mind for the HDs out there: when you do have sex with your spouse - how does it start? In our case, every 3 to 6 months, my wife will start acting affectionate, evolving in downright horny and we will have hot sex. Next day is back to normal. It takes about 2-5 days to go from affectionate to horny. I don't initiate or act any different. It's like a switch gets turned on for her, and off the next day. We often talk right after sex and she usually apologizes for not doing this more often, etc. These conversations usually don't go very far (I may try to exploit that opportunity next time it presents itself.)
What about ya'll? Does your spouse eventually give in to your incessant demands? Is it a scheduled event? Or heat of the moment like us?
Please do tell.
The differentiation song:
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
Linkin Park
That one's easy, MadFrog -- it never happens. I could wait and wait and wait and wait, and she will NEVER get affectionate, must less horny.
I've stated on here before that my wife reminds me a LOT of the wife on "Everybody Loves Raymond." Well, there's a funny scene where she's threatening to withhold sex from Ray, and he brags that it won't work with him, cuz he's "a sexual camel!"
MF, I've had very little nookie in the last 4 years, but the last time was an afternoon when it just so happened that everyone else was out of the house except the two of us. I asked her and she said yes. It was I guess what you'd call a quicky. She has said no every time since, at least 100 times.
Nice thing is that S4 just started pre-school today, so there should be more opportunities for spontaneous sex. Cross my fingers.
Another differentiation song from the Eagles:
I get a peaceful, easy feeling and I know you won't let me down 'cause I'm already standin' on the ground.
hmmm. thanks for the insight guys and gal. This would seem to point me towards thinking that maybe my wife's problem really is physiological. But we have tried a lot of different hormonal/medicinal/herbal remedies to no avail. frustrating is what it is. then again (I'm thinking out loud here) here lack of desire, regardless of its roots, does seem to bother her a hell of a lot less than me. who f...ing knows? I think I need to stop worrying about this for a while and take abreak from this board. Too much obsessing can't be good.
The differentiation song:
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
Linkin Park
Your question got me to thinking. I realized that lately my W is much more receptive to touches in the morning than in the evening. Once, on one of the few occasions that we slept together without the kids, she woke me up early because she wanted to talk. By the time I figured out that there was an opportunity for intimacy, it really was time to get up.
The last time we made love, it was just around 12 noon.
MandK: Yeah, the my wife is an sexually an anti-vampire, too. As soon as the sun goes down, the libido gets sucked right out of her. That really cuts down on the opportunities. Best not to move north of the Arctic circle, where the nights are 6 months long. Of course, the days are, too.
Quote: MandK: Yeah, the my wife is an sexually an anti-vampire, too. As soon as the sun goes down, the libido gets sucked right out of her. That really cuts down on the opportunities. Best not to move north of the Arctic circle, where the nights are 6 months long. Of course, the days are, too.
And for those of us living near that Arctic circle, that ain't nothin to joke about!!!!!!!!!!!
I live with one of those anti-vampires...even when we were doin it, winters were loooooonnnnnnnnggggggggg and coooooooollllllllldddddddddd.
On a serious note, it's said that while the dark drains you (and it does!), way up north, it's the sun that drives people crazy. It does get to you, even here in the south, when at 11pm it still looks like an early summer evening at 'home'.
Sorry to break the pattern, but I am very much a morning person and my H is more of a nightowl. If you had visited my house 6 mos. ago, you often would have witnessed the pathetic sight of Mojo repeatedly nodding off in her chair and shaking herself awake in order to stay up later than her teenage children on the very slim chance that her H might be in the mood.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: Sorry to break the pattern, but I am very much a morning person and my H is more of a nightowl. If you had visited my house 6 mos. ago, you often would have witnessed the pathetic sight of Mojo repeatedly nodding off in her chair and shaking herself awake in order to stay up later than her teenage children on the very slim chance that her H might be in the mood.
No, that's true for us as well. H is definately the nightowl, I've only become a very unwilling one because of my job(and trying to keep up with H). Course, here, it doesn't really matter all that much, because in the summer, 'night' is somewhere between midnight and 2am, and in the winter, between 3pm and 10am.
