O.k heres my whole story ,some newly added, some old stuff , some I forgot..
Met my wife almost 9 years ago , married around 6 , 2 kids , we had many money issues , both had back problems in past few years ,( she had surgery ) , I have many issues with online gaming ( as to playin it to much , not there for her or family ) my family , and her parents are the greatest , they have supported us and cared for us so many times ( thx mom , dad). Few months ago wife started goin out with our next door friend , they became close friends ,one night me and wife got into a fight ,about that I wanted to do somethin with her and she didnt ,and she was supposed to be watchin her moms house ( my fault for not bein there for her in past) , the next day she comes home ,I wanna divorce ,I hate you , were done. =[ Few weeks go by , she goes out 3-5 nights a week with her friend ,from 7 pm - 4-5 am , leaving me to take care of kids, and to here umm sayin ,wheres mommy ,does she not like us? Then after a few weeks or more of this , ( to mke longer story short) , after 2 accidents , 2 fights ( 1 fist fight ) with her new found friend that she has more fun with, than me , countless nites of drinkin ,lyin to family members that shes goin to bed and will call next day , and places she was goin. The night of the fist fight wife comes home cryin ,your gonna hate me forever , please leave me , I can't tell you what iHave done , I didnt mean to hurt you , ( All along I knew this was coming , just not this bad) , I said to her , let me guess, you were with some other guy , she says well sorta , I was with 2 guys sexually and tonight the reason I got into a fight I was kissing my friends boyfriend.. I said to her , was It only one night stands? She replies , yes , did it mean anything? , no.. After a few night of thinking i asked her if she loved me enough to make us work out ,she said YES.
After all the ugly stuff slowed down , we started slowly workin on us the right way ,we had great x mas , great new years, so -so valentines day ,some ok nights just hangin at home. I believe she really wants to work this out , (tho she doesnt like to talk about it at all), she talks alot about future.. Things Iv'e done is read DR , started goin out with friends more ,lookin for a good job , workin on my friendship with wife again , hangin out with kids .
I love my wife ,kids and family , and want us to work sooo much , BUT the hardest thing for me to do is to forget she was with 3 peolple in just 3 -4 months time and she says she didnt mean to hurt us , me , family, and she can now barely hold , kiss , make love , or let alone look at me.. Most days i just wanna give up , but dont want my kids growing up i that way , On the other hand i just seems to hard to over come affairs. In the last few months I have got ALOT of good advice from the book and posters here on these boards ( thx all) , I hope one day I will be able to post a happy ending to this nightmare we call life. Any other advice or words of encouragement may help
Welp just moved again into our new place , all has been good , starting school again in september ( tho I worry about doing this caue i will be gone from 5 am to 9 pm leaving her alone for most of night , which was one of her issues about being alone, she doesnt like being alone).
As of 8-06-2004
Our future looks pretty good and my love and ( think hers to is stronger than ever.
Tho i still ask myself these questions
Does she think about me as her husband Does she compare me to OG What's missing in our relationship Will she burn out Will she make it work Is she working on us or herself Is she happy Can she get over the fact she hd affairs Is to much lost for us
Welp im gonna be off for a while so thx all for advice and good luck...
Edited by hurtinbad1 (08/06/03 06:11 PM)
New stuff as of 8-12-2004
The last few years have been pretty tough , me and my wife have had many great times together ( most of which were better than ever) , some bad times , but i think were both on the same page and have a great set of goals planeed for our future.Sometimes i still bring up the past , and wonder what our physical future brings , since its almost non existant ( one step at a time i guess). I am almost done with school now , 4 months to go.. All that i have learned about myself and supports from this site has helped out so much.
On aug 16 we will be celebrating our 7th ann , wahoo,
Thanks again to all , and dont give up , its hard work but in the end your a better person
Never give up on the ones you love...It only hurts you more in the end..
Once again stopping in to say hi , havent been here in a while , very busy lately. I can say 1 thing , If you really want your marriage to work an follow the advice of some of the people (and read the books) here you will succeed. I have learned so much about my self , my wife and family over the years , though we still have some minor kinks to work out , I love my wife more than I ever have these days. As you can see if you read over my whole story its a ugly one , not to many people would have lasted a couple days in my situation , I honestly dont think I could have either. Once again thank you all , keep up the good work...
Never give up on the ones you love...It only hurts you more in the end..
