I guess I got locked out. I didn't think that would happen on page 9! I'm not feeling particularly creative right now, so I don't have a new title.
I'm feeling really sad and down on myself right now. H was sleeping when I got home yesterday and he left this morn. w/o saying goodbye. I want to talk to him so bad. Should I tell him that I have learned a lot since our S and that I am sorry I didn't listen to ppl/him sooner? I thought that I NEEDED him to help me get better, but now I realize that I don't. I love him and want to be with him.
He may need more time, and I will respect that. Every now and then he seems amenable to me approaching him. Like I said yesterday, I'll have to put the feelers out.
I'm tempted to call his mom and ask if she knows what is going on in his head right now.
That's worth more than $.02, Nitaf! You are absolutely right.
Also, I refrained from calling MIL. I spoke with a friend (yes, well-meaning), she said this:
From what I remember, your H was really close with his mom, so she may have information or maybe not if he didn't feel like sharing with her. I recently read an article about "coupledom" that suggested if you are having problems with your spouse/sign other, that you should refrain from sharing details with family. It can damage your "couple bubble" and ruin some of the intimacy that you otherwise would have. If you refrain from talking about it with her, it might actually help the situation. How long have you two been "having space", only like 2 weeks, right? Perhaps its a good idea to let him come around on his own. That way its on his terms and from the sound of it, if he wanted a hug, maybe he is already starting to come around. I am sure you miss him and its tough not to be close to him right now, but this is also showing him you can be strong and independent.
I think it was a good idea to not contact MIL about H's recent behavior(s). Your friend gave some really good advise on the "coupledom" thing, I think we all can learn from this. As for me I am going to try and keep my "couple bubble" away from all sharp objects. LOL
Take care,
Halo
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Today so cranky...b/c i'm at my boring job and/or b/c it's friday and i know i won't be spending any time w/H... i talked to him briefly this morn. he wanted to use my truk. i hugged him and kidded and said, "you're just using me for my truk." He said, "i'm gonna fix it." I said, "fix it?" Him-"well, change the oil. it's overdue." me-"thank you!". then i tell him i brought him home some wings. he seemed surprised? exchanged a few other words. I asked if he talked to my dad b/c he had left me a message. He said he went over there to help him with something. (He had gone to my friend's house to help her H w/something too). I said, "you're just helping everybody." He said, "yep. that's me" in a real downer kind of way.
He said g-b, I said see ya later...He didn't offer a hug at this time.
Friday I went out to eat w/my sis & BIL. I ended up going home before 11, and H was home. We chit chatted for a few min., then I went into my room. He came in and leaned against the wall. I asked if he wanted to sit and he said yes. We talked more-just happy stuff-things we've been doing, etc. Then . I went to the bathroom after and he went to his bed. I hugged him goodnight & went back into his room.
Sat. we didn't see each other at all. I spent the day w/my mom and nephews. Didn't go out. Sun. I went for an organized ride (25 hilly miles) and then there was a picnic after. I came home and h was taking a nap. He got up to go somewhere. I went in and asked for a hug. Bad move-he was not very responsive and I was feeling needy. I really really miss him!
Later he came home, just said hi, but smiled this time, went to office. I cooked myself din. I asked if he had eaten and he said yes. Ignored each other the rest of the night. This morn. did not see each other.
I'm having a really hard time b/c I am struggling to pay my bills. Going out w/o him costs me money and all I have been doing is playing.
I went to IC today. I talked to her and she ended up agreeing with what I said last time. ???
I know I need to keep doing my own thing, but I am running out of things to do. Friends are busy w/other stuff, I have little $, etc. I was thinking about getting a second job or finding a new job altogether. If we were to D, I'd be screwed b/c I don't make enough to cover my bills and rent.
. I went to the bathroom after and he went to his bed. I hugged him goodnight & went back into his room.