Amy She also told me take it slow and that is what was fouling me up....what exactly was slow.
I asked her this AM if she wanted us to pick her up for mass, she said yes. I get there a few minutes early as my D couldn't find anything to wear at my house and my exW said "you look nice". Wow, she actualy gave me a compliment w/o me intiating one first.
I guess what we all learn is that when it comes to MLC there are no rules, you kind of have to fly by the seat of you pants!
I sent a text to my exW last nite asking if she wanted to watch a movie (now this will be the first time I have asked to spend time alone within 2 days, Friday nite we went out to movie/dinner) She said maybe as her stomach was bothering her from eating too much dinner.
Well around 8:30pm she sent a text saying "Im not coming over tnite. Im pissed and upset and i don't feel like talking"
Now I am like what did I do...so I call her and she pushes me off to voice mail. I sent a text asking whats the matter. She says my SIL is pregnant & that should explain everything.
Just a little background, my wife and her 2 brothers no longer talk. This happened as the D was in progress she wanted them to cut ties with me and they pretty much told her he is part of out family and we will not take sides. My exW was very hurt by this and has not seen her brothers in over a year. They don't even talk. Now I am very close to her one brother and she can't stand it because they get to see my D10 and she never gets to she her godson. It goes as far as if there are any family functions they will not go if she is present. It is ugly.
Back to the text. So I ask her whys is she pissed? She replies "beacuse of everythg. talk 2 u tom. I replied. You can talk to me anytime you want. She replies " trust me not a good idea ur part of the problem" Now I am getting pissed. I have done many wrong things, but I didn't cause there family to stop talking. I had to relax for a few mins as I was just about to send a nasty text back. So I decided to validate her feelings by saying " I can understand why your upset. Im hurt that u would be mad at me w/o talking to me first" She says "ur part of the reason i don't see my neice and nephew and i won't be seeing the new one either, thats on them 2 but i had enough for one day"
Now my SIL that is pregnant my exW never did like and has had many words over the years. So I know that her having a 2nd child is eating away at my ex because after our D we could get have any more.
So what do I do here? I feel like all this progress has been for nothing as this can be the road block she may not be able to overcome. She blames me for all of her family problems, how can she possibly want to be back with someone who she perceives has caused this much agony?
I invited my exW over for dinner tonite with my D and I and Well she seems very withdrawn the past couple of days, like she is depressed over my SIL being preg. I have not mentioned anything else about this and will let it slide until she brings it up again. She still wants to take my D to the musuem tommorrow and she has made babysitting plans for us to go out on Sat. So I guess she still wants to be around me.
Looking for opionions here.
She needs to get some landscaping done at the house, basically leaf clean up amd mulch. She let it go last year so the cost to mulch the house is like $900.00. There are a lot of beds. Now I know she can not afford that and I was going to offer to pay part of it, say $400.00. I would only be doing that because the house is starting to look run down due to a lack of maintenence and I do want her and my D to have a presentable house.
I think she would accept my offer but don't want it to seem like I am buying my way into her life.
Would she treat it like you are taking pitty on her? Would she be insulted?
No I don't think she would take it like that. I have my own business and it took off right after the D. So she knows my income is more than when she settled the alimony/child sup issues. I am hoping she would take as a friendly gesture and not like I treating her like a child as if I am her dad.
Ok, I did something today which I should not have done, I was over exW picking her and D up to go to the musuem. I noticed one of the books I gave her to read was sitting on top of the refrig with a piece of paper with writing next to it. They were getting ready so I took a peek...the notes were all about me, detailed notes from 1/06 stating how I was paying CS, my truck purchase, my boat purchase and misc other item. I turned the page over and could not read all of the writing but it looked like details of the dates we have been going on. So now I am thinking this is all an act, she is trying to find out how much money I have now and she may want to go back to court and get more $$$. This was the crap she was doing right before I left before the D, she was keeping track of everything I was doing, where I was going, who I was seeing and what I was buying. She was very manipulative and cunning. Now I am seeing that she may not have changed at all.
I also noticed her texting a guy today, she was replying that this week wasn't good, so I guess he had asked her to go out somewhere.
All of a sudden she has become very unattractive.
I question myself why I want to torture myself, I am already D!
