and what I didn't say was that we actually had a fairly nice, normal evening and things were pleasant. I'm just tired of having to sit through a hurricane in order to get a decent breeze.
the glass is either half full or half empty or non existant
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
Hi Stubborn... just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you. I am a little egocentric right now w/ my sitch, so I am not in a good place to advise. But I am thinking of you and sending 'strength' waves to you. Take care of yourself and that baby!
The eye of the hurricane may have arrived. Weird tranquility here. Last night spouse pops out with "my counselor says you and I have a very different idea of intimacy" (WTF????) Then she goes on to explain that was based on her reading my goals for our recent vacation and one of them was to get a kiss (I can dream) She said it would have been preferable to have a long talk under the stars. (great but I'm trying to lighten up and I DID ask you to come outside with me but you didn't come. It's easy to criticize me in retrospect. Heck, it seems easy to criticize me at any time) Anyway here's the real weirdness:
Spouse says we just speak different languages. I asked her if she had heard of "5 LL" and she said "I think so" (not that she'd go near a self help book!) Then she said "I want to learn to understand you but we're just so different and it's going to be hard as long as I have someone who speaks my exact language" (meaning OW) I sat there thinging WTF and trying not to look totally flumoxed. As per DB coach I should have said something in "reflective listeing" style but....WTF? She then went off to bed. I sat feeling criticized. Not necessarily valid but my feelings anyway...Resolved to figure out what OW says that is spouses "exact language". Talk about a bitter pill to swallow. We all have to at some time figure out what about OP we might consider adopting. (I can more easily list the NO F-ING WAY things but, I digress!)
Even wierder we are invited to a BBQ today. Spouse is coming when she gets off work. It's far from home and she already told me she is having a wretched work day but she is still coming. Will wonders never cease? I see this as her trying to do things she might have to force herself to do. A positive. Opinions?
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
talking to spouse about tax stuff on the phone and as we finished out of my mouth pops ILY. Where that came from I do not know but it was the most natural thing in the world. Oooopppppppppsssssssssssss
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
Hey, I think it's a great idea to try to learn to speak your S's language. Good stuff. Fill those needs that OW is filling for her. Keep at it, I know you can do it b/c you're STUBBORN! This is really positive, and at least you can feel like you might be able to take some control here by focusing on this. Take care, sweetie. i think you're doing a bang-up job!
well spouse showed up at BBQ and even stayed later than she planned. She took D7 to SIL for sleepover and I stayed at party, per her suggestion. Silly me: just got home late and I'm alone. Gutless wonder strikes again.
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
I hope you had fun at least. Be sure that you are making the most of your events and that you aren't trying to second-guess what she is doing. Focus on stubborn, the wonderful, funny lady that deserves to be having fun. Put yourself first a little here, sweetie. damn aliens.
I had a great time. And I enjoyed having her there. And I was so proud of my friends for not ripping off her head and beating her with it. Which was a very real possibility!
Today I will pull together this last minute "family" supper. Maybaae I'll invite OW and her two boys? The more the merrier, at least spouse sees it that way!
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
well here's another fine example of "stubborn gets to be the adult" in a given situation.
D7 wants to invite son of OW to her birthday party. Inappropriate. Spouse told D she'd talk to me. How about just making the right decision YOURSELF instead of setting me up to be the police again? Oh, yeah, I forgot. Alien
I will spend the next couple of hours wording my response
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
