How do you cope w/ your H taking your kids on overnighter to OW's? I still don't know for sure that is wher they will be,but I just fell it in my gut! I see a pattern now w/ my H everytime I ask him to stay watch them while I run errands, he will take them to her. My daughter has told me that she has never been to her house, but he has taken them out to dinner or do other things like when she invites him to some kids bday party that my children don't even know the bday kid.
H started again w/ the disapearing overnite. So, twice this week went back to sleeping in his other room and just to accomodate him more I put his alarm clock in there last night. This morning when he returned he noticed it and asked why I had done that and I replied well isn't that wher you are living now? He then tried to act like it didn't bother him and sarcastically said why didn't you plug it in?
Oh, my, that would set me off BIG TIME no matter the age of the kids.
Honestly, I have to admit that my H has never ever brought OW around and the kids have never met her and he has never expressed interest in having them meet her.
Odd, huh?
What you ask is too much for me, esp. from a moral perspective. It would be different if people are divorced but I have problems with that. If it was proposed to me I would say no way because the kids live with me.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
OH! MY GOD! I know I had this in a dream!!! All that happened last night, my H took the girls for the first time for an overnighter and during the day the OW had set up a egg hunt in her backyard and the girls said daddy slept in the guest room...yeah right.. Anyways, like I have been told there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that I can do or say to stop him. I think this is finally sinking in..... I might need soemone to keep reminding me of this. It jsut hurts when H is taking away MY family time w/ my girls. You know waht? H has hurt me so much back to back this past week and now I am feeling all dried up inside. I guesss this is good in order to really start to detach now...hmmm
Well, H stayed in his room all yesturday sleeping. I know he expected some kind of a fight regarding the kids staying at OW house, but instead I stayed upbeat and in good spirits esepcially since I got prayed over at church and God has some wonderful things to tell me about I am " full" of Him and I needed to let it all out in order to be able to eat up the giant that I was fighting! I did my weeeken chores all the while singing outloud to the radio. I had thought about taking the girls out to Chuckee Cheese and create some of our Own family fun time since hearing about OW's egg hunt was wearing down. H stayed in his room until he heard the girls getting ready to go and all excited about it. H started to prepare ameal (first time in a long time) and as we were leaving asked me if I was going to be ther to eat his food, I tink I soemwhat surprised and thoughful for just one minute and then said yes. Upon our return the girls were showing daddy what i bought them and he asked you got that at Chuckee Chees, no she said we went to the beach for the festival, H said " oh, to see mommys boyfreind" I ignored his comment and went to my room.
I noticed that the longer I stay those are the times he doesn't usually go anywhere, but as soon as I ask him to watch the girls for me for a few hours, it like he takes them out of spite to OW.
I did notice something in his body language I thought was wierd, but I know the look ( almost of hurt) when I told him I was going out. Odd? I think he really does think I am seeing someone? UGH!! So, if I stay home I can't GAl but I guess I will not leave him w/ the girls anymore either. I no longer ask him to go w/ us or w/ just me anywhere (big change) and I think this is why he thinks there is someone else.
This is all so exhausting and I feel like if i only had the $, I would get the D statred myself....sigh
Well, my H and I didn't seem to get much of anything out of our last email discussion. H was not happy that I am taking the girls to see Disney on Ice when he got the same tickets. I just told him that I guess they will go see it twice! BUT, they will see it first w/ me b/c we have the friday nite and he has Saturday afternoon. I am not backing down b/c for the past two weekends he has made plans w/out my knowledge and taken them to stay w/ OW. I had emailed him first nicely and calmly that we had to now schedule our weekends seperatley ahead of time w/ the kids. Since he had them the past two weekends ,it was my turn for family fun the next two. My OLD self wold back down and let him run the show and comply w/ what he wanted, NOPE not anymore!
I asked him to move out and live w/ her since he loves her so much and since he "played" house already he can see that it can work. He said no he was not moving out of his house
UGH!!! I am ready for him to stop getting so fat on cake and to get off my fence and move to her side of the fence.
Am I starting to REALLY detach or is it just that I don't care anymore???? Last night my H starts to fumble around his closet and was already dressed like he was going out and was really not trying to hide it too much I suppose w/ all the racket b/c he woke me up as I told him to to take his work clothes and stay out the entire night ( this was not in an argumentive tone by any means). As our earlier discussion of the day was that I wanted him out of the house but he wouldn't budge. So, when I opened my eyes and looked at him he all of a sudden stopped like he was trying to hide the clothes that were in his hand and that is when I told him to get clothes for the rest of the week too. But let me back up, when I first mentioned him dressed to go out(w/out asking that is), he (lied) said that he was hungry and getting food. The strange thing about all of this is that he took his sweet ol time coming in and out of the room, turning on the light that asked kindly to turn off and let me sleep. You see, I was showing him it was not bothering me that he wasn't going to come back. In the meantime, he playfully? kinda was taking my sheets off from me and trying to take the pillows I quite get if he was trying to start a fight or just trying to be playful. My instict b/c this is how he is was that he was hoping or waiting for me to ask him to stay or ask him to come to bed (something my old self would do). He was saying I ought to just come and sleep here
Anywho............. I am glad b/c God is giving me the strength.... I would normally feel sad, but I don't.. jsut a nice calm feeling while letting go
