I am really feeling down right now. I bought tickets to take the girls to see my Mom in Florida, and we leave tommorow morning.
I called my mom, and this is the first time I really let her know what I've been going through. She is excited to see me and the girls, but feels horrible that this is happening to my family.
God, I feel alone. I need some strength. I need to stop thinking about the possibility of losing my family, and having my childrens lives torn apart.
hey there, stay strong, your W has lost her marbles to MLC and depression and prob doesn't even like herself right now. The girls are very luck to have you now, you are the only one they can count on, so chin up, you can go through this. Get off her emotional rollercoaster, do not feed of every things she says, she is clearly of no sound mind right now, her emotions are talking for her. She is believing every negative that pops into her mind and believes that becuase she feels it it must be true.
Shield the girls from her, shield yourself from her emotional whirlwind. You go to florida and have a great time with your mom and kids.
Your w need major therapy, it is NOT you, ok? your w is questioning everything right now and nothing is the right answer right now (come one, stay come to take care of dogs?? what an excuse!) ========= but i feel like I can't control it, so I am going to stop trying. I just need to vent ========= YES and yes, the only person you can control is YOU, and that's the way it should always be. You can't holster all the responsibility, each of us is responsible for our own happiness. That burden isnt' yours, she has to find herself on her own. Vent and complain here, that's what this board is for.
You arent' alone, God is always with you, specially now. It doesnt' seem like it, but sometimes it takes a blow this big for us to find Him again.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Your doing well, just keep up the positive. Listen to Sven he's got the principles down.
1. Give her space. No R Talks, no pursuing. 2. Be your own man. Those goals are great. Focus on that. 3. Be very wary of that counselor. He is taking a very bad approach IMHO 4. I wouldn't really bring family and friends into it. They can give the worst advice.
Stay strong.
I've been where you are and for the same reasons. It's been an unbelievably long road but I'm still on it. You probably have a long road ahead of you (sorry to say) but it does bring you to wonderful places. Things are pretty good for me. The R seems to constantly get better just at such a slow pace it's unbelievable. DB'ing works. Keep it up.
well i just got back from Florida. I had a great time with the girls and talking to my mom was helpful.
I just kept telling myself that i can either be happy at the present moment with the good things i have in my life and the fun that we're having, or I can start dwelling on all the bad that the future may hold. Anyways, I was 90% successful, so I'll take that as a success.
Anyways, I got back last night, and my wife and I talked a little. I feel like even though she knows it will destroy the family, and she won't find anyone better, and even finding someone better would just be a complicated ordeal with the kids and life, she is still stuck on this train to crazy.
Its almost like she is working herself up, and getting used to the idea of the whole thing. I guess I need to too. No more R talks. I told her I love her, and I would not give up on her. (her father gave her up for adoption when she was 2 to a stepdad and she still has issues from that). Anyways, she knows my character, and she knows how I feel. Now i guess I should take your advice and just be the best man I can and avoid painful talks.
She did bring up the possibility of getting a counselor for herself and possibly getting a new marriage counselor. I'm not sure what I should do. I feel like a marriage counselor is a waste of time if she isn't ready to imagine our life together. Should i bring it up again and ask if she is seriously considering seeing a counselor for her own issues with her mom and dad?
