Thanks Lou. I think the USB/thumb flash drive is the method that H was talking about that I couldn't remember. That sounds like the best option for me.
Even though H's method is simple, I do think that I'd feel better if he handled the backup to his server himself. I'm so sensitive about it now that I want no part of it. Anything to avoid feeling inadequate and stupid. No, on a conscious level I don't consider myself to be stupid, but it really tests my confidence to be married to someone who is so sure of himself intellectually. I doubt myself all the time.
Lil Get one of these babies and start backing up at home: 320 gig. My friend got one at Sam's for $126.
Also good for backing up the "WHOLE" hard drive or is that harddrive. Who cares.
It's the thing with the platters and read/write heads, with cylinders, heads, and sectors, that w/o this date entered into the CMOS, you didn't get the thingy to work correctly
USB drive is the size of a flattened lipstick. So simple to use!
I do think that I'd feel better if he handled the backup to his server himself I repair printers and when on a job, if the company has a network and I need some settings changed for the printer to work more efficiently, I become/act "I never saw one in my life. I have friends that set up computers and networks. They tell war stories about changind some small part in a computer, the settings are different, and 6 hours later, the system is back running full speed.
IOW, I am chicken to mess with someone else's network. I know back-ups are easier than changing settings for new boards or devices. I still don't like messing with something unless I do it often and really know what I am doing.
I don't feel like I will damage anything, havent so far in the last 20 years (Vic-20, TSR-80? beginning computer) It's one of those things, learn and do it well or admit the work is for someone in a different pay grade.
I still do lots of things I have never done. One of the best ways to learn.
My XW programmed meteorological models in Fortran on a Unix system while working on her masters. Five years later I was rolling my eyes because she didn't know how to copy and paste from one document to another. Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V, Ctrl-X...none of it meant anything to her.
You guys both seem to be taking things personally. Hopefully nobody's rolling their eyes.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
My XW programmed meteorological models in Fortran on a Unix system while working on her masters. Five years later I was rolling my eyes because she didn't know how to copy and paste from one document to another. Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V, Ctrl-X...none of it meant anything to her.
What brought about this change? this loss of knowledge?
You guys both seem to be taking things personally.
Speaking for myself, yes I do take things personally. I'm working on that. I often feel quite inferior to H intellectually, inferior to his immediate family, actually. I've mentioned this to my ILs (we have a really good R) and they think I'm selling myself way short, as does H, but I don't know how to stop it. I did better when I WOH, but being pg and SAHM seems to have turned my brain to mush. Whatever confidence I had in my intellectual abilities is greatly diminished by my present occupation.
No, I don't wish to go back to work right now. I don't think that would help; it would just add to my plate. But I do need to work on feeling better about my intellectual abilities. Just not sure how.
cac4 I express my feelings of shock and horror at the potential negative aspects of such an event, that she actually meant "parked" the car...not "crashed".
Those are physical events. a person's mid's eye sees a difference. Some computer terms for limited skilled computer users the terms are abstract. How many non-computer people know the difference betweem bits and bytes, betweem kbs and Kbs.
I know there is TCP (Transmission Control Protocol) but I couldn't explain it to myself, let alone anyone else.
People ask me how fax machines work. I say first they connect with eachother and have to agree on a hand shake, you know the ones gangs members greet each other. I know it isnt the correct description but it gives a mental picture to the customer what is sort of going on.
When it comes to explaining how printers operate, instead of using technical terms, I use words people know.
One is, toner I call powder consistancy black plastic. I could give the Hazardous Material Identification and Material Safety Data definition but that wouldn't work for most customers.
mrs.cac4 I don't consider myself to be stupid, but it really tests my confidence to be married to someone who is so sure of himself intellectually. I doubt myself all the time.
A long time ago, I quit school Educated myself to be a very good auto mechanic. Had a couple of back injuries. It looked like college was my only salvation.
My first encounter, like many other retreads (term for people forced into career changes) was to state some fears we all had.
Ph.D Walker (hot looking, be still my heart) where was I? Oh yes Hot lips Walker said said to knock that inferior stuff off pronto. No one is stupid, some people have more experience.
Well, this drop-out who started out in the work world pumping gas graduated with a 3.82/4.0 GPA.
Wow. If I had a dollar for every time I've said those words to my bf, I'd be a very rich woman.
Something about the way I occasionally say something... and I haven't cracked the code yet, just sets him off. And yes, anger is his first, second, and third response.
I don't feel like he's saying I'm stupid, because he knows I'm not. Just like cac just verified that he knows you're smart.
I think the key may be in his comment about not being a mind reader. When you say something using certain words and he takes you literally and it turns out you meant something different, it makes HIM feel stupid ("I'm not a mind reader!") and the reaction is defensiveness and anger.
But here's the part I don't understand: he can't just cut me some slack. So I used an imprecise word. And NO-- not a word as imprecise as "crash" when I meant "park"... geez!
I'm a professional writer, for pete's sake. I know how to express myself. I have to be careful what I say when I'm at work speaking for my clients. WHY should I have to be so friggin careful at home when I'm dealing with a man who supposedly loves me? Why can't he cut me some slack?
If I had the emotional energy, I'd conduct an experiment where I tested two scenarios, one where I use an imprecise word and it makes ME look stupid, and the other where I use an imprecise word and it makes HIM (in his eyes, not mine) look stupid. Then see which one make him angry. But I'm rapidly getting to the point where I don't give a rat's a$$ anymore.
Perhaps you should have your H write down the steps, and possibly even flow chart it for you. Would that help? If so, then I wonder if you might be a visual learner, you know, the non-verbal learning disability (NVLD) stuff. If you don’t go through this process often, it will be hard to remember what you did last month. Becoming PC literate is easy if you spend a lot of time on the PC. If not, it can be a foreign language, and that can be very difficult to learn if you don’t live in a foreign country.
If joint finances are an issue, get your own checking account and reconcile yours and let him reconcile his. Better yet, just pay your bills online, cut out the paper checks (except for special situations), purchase daily needs by debit or credit card (assuming you maintain discipline to limit spending), pay down all balances each month (by online check) and don’t worry about reconciling anything. All transactions will be online via your online credit card or bank account. What’s there to reconcile?
Stepping back to the bigger picture, I know CAC4 came on this board with lots of complaints, but also plenty of issues, issues that he barely acknowledged, much less worked through. He then sort of fell of the board. This says to me that he did not want to be confronted with those things anymore and would rather just lurk a while.
Then you can on, had a wake up call, changed yourself and the M, and gave H a reprieve from having to confront himself. At first he was trying to grow and you were lagging. Now you have grown and he appears to be lagging. So it is his turn to pick up the pace. This is a natural oscillation in marriage. What CAC4 needs to understand is that the growth never stops, things change, life changes, you change, and he will have to change too.
This is a huge personality flaw on my part, and I am at a complete loss as to how to overcome it.
CAC4, this is BS and you know it. You come up against people at work all the time you are not computer literate. How do you communicate with them? There is only one way to do it and that is to talk. If they are really novices, then you have to step back and explain some fundamentals, right? Maybe draw out some flow charts or diagrams. Why can’t you do this with your W?
If she isn’t getting it, then maybe she needs to look into why that is. Maybe she is ADD or has NVLD. That is for you to look into. You don’t have to mind read at all. You just have to talk. BTW, I see you two posting within 4 minutes of each other. Are you two waiting to take turns on that one PC to put forth your version of the story? Very passive aggressive of both of you. Better to sit down and talk it over.
CAC4, start opening up. Get out of the victim role. Stop looking to be rescued. Ditch the anger over your lost dreams. You wife has given you a great gift. She has addressed many of your complaints. By what she says, you should be getting more frequent and regular sex, more intimacy, more communication, more validation. So what are you still mad about?
That is the problem when the other person does what you ask. You have to then find new reasons for your anger. Eventually you will run out of reasons and have to confront yourself. This business about your W not being able to backup files the way you deem, and then providing you a reason to get upset with her because she doesn’t remember or understand the system, is just a smoke screen by you. This is a creation by you to set her up to fail, to give you an excuse to withdraw, to avoid intimacy. The new intimacy in your M means you should feel good about the changes in your wife. But you don’t feel good because the changes in you haven’t come about yet. So stop making her responsible for your shortcomings.
No, on a conscious level I don't consider myself to be stupid, but it really tests my confidence to be married to someone who is so sure of himself intellectually. I doubt myself all the time.
I suspect that is just how CAC4 wants it. If you doubt yourself, you will never be in a position to doubt him. Then he stays safe, KWIM?
Educated myself to be a very good auto mechanic. Had a couple of back injuries. It looked like college was my only salvation.