Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Piecing together, or not?

yeah, I do know what you mean.

Well, I posted some on mine yesterday and this morning, was a bit of a bad DBer, but it's okay now, I think.

ROLLLLLLLLLL TIDE ROLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!


L

btw VC,
I graduated early (December) and while waiting for H to finish vet school, I had 2 jobs. One, waiting tables, which sucked. The other was tutoring athletes, like Bo Jackson and Lionel James, etc etc....eat your heart out....the only other tutor for English or Government, was a nun....I swear. Dang that job could have had some serious benefits...But of course, I was already married in college...brilliant.... Am doing some legal/financial work for H's company in Alaska. I was a bit surprised since seems to me they have plenty of bucks to hire a L up there, but as THEY said, "the talent pool of educated people here, is shallow..." So, guess I could get back into the work world without feeling overwhelmed. Like you, I've been a sahm for some years now, although always "working" on something. H was gone, even before he was gone, due to his hours. Some of his crappy hours were just the cost of doing business in his field, others were his workaholism....it was like the more he worked, the more I felt I had to be home. And maybe he felt the more I was at home, the more he had to work. Both of us sort of felt trapped, in hindsight. As far as working outside the home again, I feel indecisive about which direction to take. I mean, what I would LOVE to do, vs. what pays, NOW, is always the issue isn't it?

Rational or not, haven't you had some fear based career assessments lately? I ask b/c I have. Yes, even with a law degree blah blah blah. AND you know what's interesting about the work they hired me to do? Nothing. It's boring as s---. But they didn't blink when I told them my fee (which of course means it should have been higher). Gotta get back to it too, so later on we'll connect. My private email is yojeannine@yahoo.com if you want to "talk" there.
j-

Hey VC

had a drag of a talk with H today. D18 was promised, as all our kids were/are, a trip to "anywhere" for high school graduation. Went to Italy with s20 last summer (and took the girls as well). So, d18 wants to "save orphans" etc and go to Ghana and do volunteer work. Hard to see it as a selfish thing. And with some charity group it shouldn't cost that much. H disagrees about the affordability of it, blah blah blah b/c of the move, his salary not being a partner yet, ALL things HE caused and all things that were totally predicatable...anyhow, we discussed the work I did for the company and what they're paying me. H says something about how "It looks like we're going to be partners up here and making choices....""""" blah blah blah. The phone disconnected but I wondered, "so, NOW we'll be partners b/c....I'm earning money?" WTH? I know, don't overreact. But every time I think he's learned something, I hear a stupid greedy sounding comment that irks me...oh well.

Anyhow, I'm putting the deposit down for the dang Africa trip. Shoot, I want to go too. But that leaves d9 somewhere and H will be working of course. I will have to hold him to his word about taking time off and doing some damn travelling. What is he waiting for? I wonder, must HE break every promise made to d18? I really feel that she has gotten the short end of the straw quite enough with him missing the past 2 years...but see, when I do this type of thinking, I spiral backward into the anger...not so helpful.
I'm going to cheer myself up now, with food of course...I mean, what are my options? Oh last night went in the hot tub and watched "Arrested Development" (HILARIOUS but fast, so a southerner might not keep up...) on DVD player and said, "Ah, this is the life...." Some little things do help. With food.

j-

So, what you are saying is you think southerners are slow??
Your just jealous that you aren't from the south. Maybe when your H gets tired of Alaska, yall can move down here, and you will be surprised how much it's changed here. It's beautiful from our forests and mountains all the way down to the redneck riviera!!
Ha! I sound like a travel brochure.

Well, it sounds like your H is starting to look around and see the results of his actions. Hey, look at it this way, he wants to be partners with you making decisions together. It may be a positive thing. I mean, my H doesn't think of me as a partner either since I don't earn a living. He doesn't value SAHM's as a lot of men don't. I guess we can blame crap like that on the feminist agenda. Somewhat. I believe when he sees me bring home even the little paycheck I will get, he will start looking at me in a different light, too.
Your H meant it in a good way, I think.
When will your D leave for Ghana?
My neice went to South America on a mission trip, and she loved it, and my sister is a single mother, and she made sure her D got to go. She's the one who was M to a preacher who was having an affair, and one year after he D my sister, he married the ow, and is not really very happy with her, hahaha!!!
I understand about your D getting the short end of the stick as far as fatherly attention goes. Our S doesn't count on his F to keep ANY promises he makes to him.
He promised yesterday that on Spring break, we would put up his clubhouse for him. I hope he will keep this promise.

Do you think you can explain the premise of the movie you watched? I mean, I'm not sure if I could follow it and may have to watch it four or five times before I get it!!


L

VC,

can't do justice to your post b/c it's early release day for d9. But for the record, the years we lived in Alabama were our happiest. And in my acting world, I do a great southern accent (upper class, and not so upper, of course). Southerners TALK more slowly silly. And they often asked me to slow down my speech, which I can do. That is also helpful for stage work, fyi.
later, gotta go
j-

We THINK fast, but talk slowly!!!

Does that mean the rest of the country does the opposite??

Plus, you know that God once turned the US on its side and all the nuts rolled into California. At least, that is what I heard.

L

25yrs...I replied to your post on my thread. Your words are very comforting even knowing that chances are slim for a reconciliation. I know I must maintain my dignity; always have, always will.

Hugs,
ISLH