Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Is it over for me?

Aww Theoden,
You know how to boost a girl's spirits. Seriously, I have read several of your post and you are a very wise man. I always enjoy reading your responses because I know they will be very beneficial. I wish all men were like you DB men. We women would be so lucky!

It is spring break this week. I'm a teacher so I am able to enjoy being off with my girls. We decided to go shopping today. The youngest asked me if I had talked to her dad about some money for shopping. I said no, and she asked if it was too late to call him. I said of course not. He told her to come by his business and he would give her money. When we got close I told him that I needed to fill up the car while I was there. So he comes outside and fills up the car for me. Now bear in mind his OW/secretary ( remember a week ago he said they weren't seeing each other anymore, but who know) works with him so there are cameras in the parking lot where the pumps are located. I got out to talk to him while he pumped the gas. He was asking me who was going shopping with us and such. I asked him if he needed anything. I noticed that some pollen had fallen in his shirt pocket and I reached over and got it out. I'm sure she was watching the screen during all of this. I made sure I smiled several times. He then took out the money that he had for our daughter and handed it to me. The odd thing is that he never opened the car doors and spoke to our girls. He only spoke to me.

I've got to share a little ego story. Friday night I took my college aged daughter and two of her friends to dinner. I was driving through the parking lot looking for a spot to park when this jeep drives by me and brakes. The girls were like dang, he was checking you out. I was yeah right, he was checking you young hotties out. They said no way, his eyes were on you! Then I kept driving and met up with him in the back of the parking lot and this time he was smiling huge and looking right at me. The girls were like, see and he is hot! Well if nothing else it's nice to get your ego boosted! My daughter was like just accept it Mom, you're a pretty lady. Aww isn't she a sweetie? One of the girls that was with us had not seen me since Christmas. She told my daughter how she couldn't get over how small I had gotten.

Yoyo,

You are a hottie.

And I think you the more you realize that, the more you will be demure and winsome. Man can't resist that.

Keep at it. Control the interactions with your H. Always give him less than he asks for.

Remember, it takes time for some men to end it with OW. It's not always a clean break.

I wish with my whole heart I could guarantee the outcome of your efforts. I'll say a prayer for you.


--theoden

Theoden,
Again thanks for your words of encouragement. I will also say a prayer for you and your family. Prayers defintely helps. I couldn't make it through this without the Lord's love and guidance. I see that you have been going through this for a year. You are a stong and loving man. Your wife needs to open her eyes and heart.

The hardest thing I have trouble with is patience and keeping my mouth closed. I am praying about that. When my H and I were together all day Sat. I was able to keep my mouth closed about the R.

Yoyo,

Thanks for the prayer.

Hun...you are going to smoke that punk-ass secretary of his. I like the smiles. Your joy and radiance are drawing him close to you and infuriating her.

Keep him guessing.

And I sure wish all women were like you DB women.

--Theoden

I guess some good does come out of the bad. I try to find positives. I have found positives. Through all of this my youngest daughter has opened up to me more. She now says she loves me back when I tell her I love her. You know how teens are sometimes they are too embarassed to show affection or emotion. My oldest daughter has always been an affectionate person, but now is even more affectionate. I have lost a lot of weight, although it's not a diet that we DB's would recommend to anyone, too painful.

Theoden,
I am trying to outlast the secretary. See my way of thinking is that he has not filed for divorce, so he can not be that committed to her. She filed for divorce 3 days after H left me! (but, remember my H wasn't seeing her at the time, according to him, yeah right!)Her husband was totally blindsided also! During all of this time my H has spent the night with me several times. I know he isn't fully committed to me either, but I'm hoping our history and family will open his eyes. I guess you can say he is having his cake and eating it too. I was pursuing, but it seemed to be sending me down cheeseless tunnels, so I'm detaching.

Wooo hoooo! You are doing some great DBing. Keep it up. Don't worry, your husband may be "having his cake and eating it too," but as you emotionally detach (but are physically around once in awhile -- when he's initiating-- to remind him how fabulous you are) that will force him to realize he's slowly starting to lose something very valuable.

Keep up what you're doing (and have fun with it too!!!). You are awesome and your outlook and attitude only make you a thousand times more attractive. That sleazy secretary has nothing on you. You ROCK!!!

You just brought a big smile to my face with "sleazy secretary" remark. LOL

Yoyo,

You rock. DB women are the hottest.

You are so freaking demure, so sensually intelligent, so fiercely loyal, so charmingly hospitable, so evervescent, any man would be a fool to walk away from you.

Your daughters know.

We know.

Shine your love-light baby.


--Theoden

My H - OW (now ex OW) did file too - a month after they started an EA - not even physical. H would never committ to her either and with all the pressure she put on him to file he finally saw the light. Keep DBing and detach, GAL and keep a PMA!!! It's all about the baby steps!!

This board has become my life line. As you all know you get where you don't tell anyone anything because they just can't understand why you are still hanging on. They still have their families in tact and don't know what we DB's will do to restore our M's. Thanks Root and Theoden for all of your support.

I have not talked to my H since Sat. It seems when oldest D is around he usually lays low. It's almost if he doesn't want her to judge him. I will have to call him tomorrow to remind him that he has an appointment to get his hair cut that I scheduled for him a week ago. He knows he has it, but I'm sure he has forgotten by now. See I still take care of those things for him. I will make the call brief and sweet.