MrsNop: You do realize that I was not choosing for this to be the issue? It only takes one spouse to make an issue *the* issue.
Doh!
And here I thought you two calmly decided to agree to this. And, no, I'm not being ironic/facetious/sarcastic. I just envisioned him saying, "hey, let's make sex the issue" and you saying, "sure!"
I wonder how she would react if she saw other women interested in him?
IIRC, HD did take a longtime friend/coworker out to lunch and MsHD got a little unglued. But she tried to place her focus on "the budget" aspect of it. I believe there was some other occasion where she expressed jealousy also.
And here I thought you two calmly decided to agree to this. And, no, I'm not being ironic/facetious/sarcastic. I just envisioned him saying, "hey, let's make sex the issue" and you saying, "sure!"
Snort.
He wouldn't let the matter drop. Instead of Rome, all roads began to lead to sex. I did not eagerly march down that road.
Geeze, Mrs.Nop, you have a mind like a steel trap! Thanks for the "offer" Mojo, but I don't really care about how she'd react to seeing me with another woman. I'm trying to distill our issues down to manageable level, not add new ones.
Thanks for the "offer" Mojo, but I don't really care about how she'd react to seeing me with another woman. I'm trying to distill our issues down to manageable level, not add new ones.
I'm actually being semi-serious in suggesting that you might play on her tendency towards jealousy. It is pure Schnarch after all. Have you considered that that might be what would turn her on? I know women like MsHD in real life and I think my suggestion is valid. The fact that she suggested that you go see a prostitute is a give-a-way in that regard. She is okay with you having "just sex" with other women but I think if she sensed the possibility that you could actually have a sexual relationship with a woman whom she might respect as a peer it would shake her up a bit. Analogous to my H's remarks along the lines that only a brutish sort of man could satisfy me sexually.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: Lil: I wonder how she would react if she saw other women interested in him?
Mrs. NOP: IIRC, HD did take a longtime friend/coworker out to lunch and MsHD got a little unglued. But she tried to place her focus on "the budget" aspect of it. I believe there was some other occasion where she expressed jealousy also.
Lil: I think it's manipulative, kind of slimy, and just further complicates an already complicated situation.
Hairdog
I wasn't suggesting you set up the situation (that was Mojo, not me). I'm asking what you make of your W's bout of jealousy back then and deflecting it to the budget?
Has any other jealousy shown up since you started going to church (presumably there are other women there)?
Just curious.
----------
I wonder why this thread hasn't locked yet? Over 230 posts.
Re: her jealousy, then budget concerns. What do I make of it? I guess I don't think much about it because I'm focused on other aspects of the relationship. Same thing with the church question. There was that episode of "don't be paternalistic!" a few weeks ago, but I haven't seen any jealousy, per se.
I gotta tell you, I'm trying to conserve my mental energy for the coming apocalypse (which I feel I've already begun). I think the jealousy stuff is a tangent that doesn't need to be investigated right now. A "cheeseless" tunnel.
