She is confused. It is a good sign that she says she still loves you but there is that infamous "I don't know if I'm in love with you". I hate that one. They still are I think. It is just under a bunch of sh*t and they are blinded by infatuation and a fantasy - instant gratification_(which I think is deadly in my opinion) and something new and exciting feeling with the OM.
I know it is hard, every single day I check (which I shouldn't but can't seem to stop myself) to see if they have contacted each other, and sure enough, everyday. It does hurt. But hang in there.
It is also a good thing she said "when" it ends. That sounds like she is going to , but is maybe having a hard time and you know, God forbid they hurt this other person, that would be terrible, wouldn't it. Sorry for the venting, but the hard reality is they really feel like they owe this other person something and don't want to hurt them unfortunately.
I got to a point where I feel I could no longer take, it, too. (which is when I kicked H out). But my anger went away and then it took him awhile to come back because now I had hurt him and he couldn't figure out how I could do that to him. Makes R worse.
But I just had another talk with my H about the calls and I told him it was not ok with me and it will ruin us in the end again. he agreed, but I don't know if it will do any good. Because he did say they miss each other (gag gag gag ). Sorry again.
Just keep posting and venting here. I know it hurts. Some days for me were just too much too take and still are. I just want it all to stop, too.
listen to this, we had a huge fight about the om when she said that she was going out Sat night and I asked her with who and she told me with the om for a couple of drinks
I told her as long as she was honest with me I would not fight with her about it but guess what i did I blew up and we ended up agreeing that I was going to move out and we were over.....she said that we were done the next day she goes to her moms and doesn't invite me...I go to work and start looking for apartments When she comes home later I tell her about a couple of the apartments I was interested in and said I was going to get a storage unit and start moving my stuff out
she comes back to me later that night and said I could put my stuff"collectibles and such" in the shed to save me money for now
then she says that she gets sad when she thinks of me leaving and says that there is love there for me and that she wants me to stay but sleep in another room to so i don't have to spend money on an apt.... then she asks me if that is allright and I say yes becuae she made it clear that we were done so I was allright with it she then starts crying and asks me if I still love her...I say yes I do and she is relieved by my answer...then she asks me to hold on to my love for her for awhile and i said I would as long as I could
what is she doing? This is what is going on i think, I start letting go and she gets sad and worried I will stop loving her and she doesn't want me to even though she says the ILYBNILWY line to me
so last night I slept in our bed with her because she went out for awhile and I was in our bed with the 2 yr old
tonight I am supposed to sleep in another room to give her space
what the hell is going on....I was ready to let go(she convinced me that there was no hope) and get my own place and move on and she doesn't want me too
I'm in a similar situation and am confused as to what to do.....It seems like my wife is constantly lying to me and anyone else that she has ever loved.(i.e. her parents) Her deception hurts and tears me apart...But I cannot stop loving her. Besides all this BS...she is and has been an amazing woman. I keep praying that she breaks and we can start restoring her and our marriage. The only advice I can give is to hang in there and keep the faith.
also, It is ironic that my neglect of her needs(intimacy) led her to fall out of love with me, yet she cuts me off from contact with her at work, then kicks me out of the bedroom(no ml or anything) yet wants me to stay in love with her
I will as long as I can, but who knows how long that will be
The confusion kills you doesn't it.....When they are in their decieved state they cannot be figured out. Hang in there and try to make yourself happy. I have neglected myself for years and need to relearn what makes me happy. I think that journey will and should help you also.
I'm going to see my C today and that is exactly what I want to talk with her about. Hopefully our wifes will want to get back into our marraiges when they see what they are missing out on.
Keep your head, find out what makes you happy and be the best Dad that you can possible be.
). Sorry again.