There is a really wwwwiiiiddddeeeee range. Ive been used and cast aside in less then 3 minutes. That memory still makes me laugh and shake my head.
“Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex,”
I hope you dont really believe that. They may impose 'rules' on themself, or on you, for appearances or use it to rationalize their lack of desire, but I really hope you dont seriously believe that. Hopefully thats what the wink was for.
I think women 'want' in all kinds of different ways, and in different manners. Many women do not give themselves 'permission' to want... mainly due to social conditioning (at least, how I look at it).
And then we also 'want' things we've been conditioned to 'want,' yet never really take the time to examine ourselves deeply enough to ask: "Is this MY want or what I've been conditioned to want?"
And then there's the whole other part of wanting... once you figure out what you do want, how do you go about getting it. Many women, afraid of their own vulnerability (ahem, ahem, shuffle feet) will turn to manipulation rather than honesty.
90% of the women I know, from ALL age ranges, will jump almost imeediately into the sack, thinking it is the way they will 'get' the guy. They 'want' one thing, but the 'get' another. Then get all confused about it.
Happens in Ms, too. But typcially in reverse fashion.
There is a really wwwwiiiiddddeeeee range. Ive been used and cast aside in less then 3 minutes. That memory still makes me laugh and shake my head.
Well, I definitely could have been that girl if a few moons were in alignment, I have actually orgasmed right at entry on several occasions but I don't get your "cast aside" comment. I mean if I'm getting direct clitoral stimulation I will "buck" a guy off once I've come because otherwise it would be painful but if I'm having sex I would and could just keep going. Besides, in my experience the vast majority of the time once I've orgasmed the guy isn't gonna last that much longer.-LOL (Of course we must bear in mind that the only man over the age of 25 I've had sex with is my H. I suppose some old young guys like you might need more time.)
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
And then there's the whole other part of wanting... once you figure out what you do want, how do you go about getting it. Many women, afraid of their own vulnerability (ahem, ahem, shuffle feet) will turn to manipulation rather than honesty.
90% of the women I know, from ALL age ranges, will jump almost imeediately into the sack, thinking it is the way they will 'get' the guy. They 'want' one thing, but the 'get' another. Then get all confused about it.
I think that this is really true. Although perhaps my case is a little different because I find it difficult to be truly honest with myself or a man because I have my bunny needs and my monkey needs and they're both very important to me and it's like if I act bunny I'm being half-fake and if I act monkey I'm being half-fake too. The bunny has been playing ball with Captain Wentworth in a very honest fashion (I really want to thank all the very nice men on this BB for showing me that it's okay to allow myself to be vulnerable in this way). Really I've been scaring myself sh*tless with how open I've been in my communication. The Captain hasn't dropped the ball yet but I just sent him an e-mail in which I put my monkey in the middle of the ball game. Way I figure, it doesn't really matter what the rules say, if the guy can't handle my monkey, he's not the guy for me.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
BTW -was there a rule in HJNTIY involving not sending e-mail messages with sexual innuendo in them? If so, I just broke it.
I'm wondering what the guys think about this?
On the one hand, I think it's up to the woman to send the subtle message that a sexual reference would be well-received. And I can see where if the guy is the FIRST one to introduce sexual innuendo, it might seem too pushy and forward.
OTOH if SHE brings up sex first, then she will never know if he would have mentioned it if she hadn't, kwim?
I guess it depends on how blatant the innuendo was...
Just bear in mind, Mojo, you don't want to WONDER if he's really into you. You want him to stick his neck out and take the risk. You deserve to have the guy take a risk for you. You don't want a lazy guy like Mr. Mojo who needs to be told and shown what he wants, and then forced to do it.
Men of the BB, any opinions?
This brings to mind a girlfriend story...
A close friend of mine has been divorced for several years. She's a massage therapist, very new-agey, slender, red-haired, cute-- a lovely person. She met this guy who's also into yoga and stuff and they really hit it off. A couple of months ago when our girlfriends' group got together, she looked happier than she had in years, and she allowed as how the secret to her "look" was lots of great sex. In addition, they were going out to listen to music, going to art galleries-- all the things she loves to do. (IOW, they weren't spending all of their time in the sack-- it seemed like a good match over all.) We were VERY happy for her. I saw her about a month later, and asked how the romance was going, and she said, well, after about three weeks of the activities mentioned above, he said he just wanted to be friends... and ended the sexual part of the R. I didn't ask for more details... although I was curious. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors. She's ~50-ish, he was in the same age group... just one of those tales from the naked city.
I can't remember why that story seemed pertinent...
Well I am just a monkey man Im glad you are a monkey, monkey woman too, babe
Well, you know I'm a huge Stones fan. My first sexual boyfriend who was later my second lover was a young Jagger look-a-like-act-a-like. He wore threadbare skin-tight jeans with no underwear when he was 16 years old (the picture is still Kodak clear in my memory)and laughed out of the side of his mouth. He was the leader of our neighborhood teen gang. He was quite intelligent and from a fairly conservative middle-class background but he was a total wild*ss, always doing things like jumping out of trees. His favorite expression was probably "When I grow up all I want to do is get stoned and f*ck!" but he was also the guy who would with great care button and zip me back into my clothes after we were together. Cobra once postulated that I wouldn't have been treated with respect by this guy. Not true. He treated me with all the respect and care that he would also give a baggie full of Acapulco Gold.-LOL
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
On the one hand, I think it's up to the woman to send the subtle message that a sexual reference would be well-received. And I can see where if the guy is the FIRST one to introduce sexual innuendo, it might seem too pushy and forward.
OTOH if SHE brings up sex first, then she will never know if he would have mentioned it if she hadn't, kwim?
I guess it depends on how blatant the innuendo was...
Just bear in mind, Mojo, you don't want to WONDER if he's really into you. You want him to stick his neck out and take the risk. You deserve to have the guy take a risk for you. You don't want a lazy guy like Mr. Mojo who needs to be told and shown what he wants, and then forced to do it.
It's very confusing isn't it? All I can say is that I think if I were to send you the transcript of our e-mail conversation so far you would say something like "This one's a keeper." to me. But, as I've learned in my profession, you can't judge a book by its cover or even the first few pages you gotta check the whole thing for bent corners, worm-holes and must and even then it just might not be worth reading.
Are you really wondering how blatant the innuendo was when you know that I am the one who offered it? Pretty d*mn blatant I would say but not thoroughly out of context. He was asking me about what kind of music I like and I answered the question at some length but then closed with the lyrics to a very sexual song and then typed "You like?" and ended the e-mail.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
