I am doing ok today. Thank you. All of you do have good advice. I do think like you, but when I see it written here by you guys. I know I am thinking the right way. I think I had a baby step today. I felt quite self confident today. H has been calling me and doing more than he has before, but I do not trust yet. He has been honest with me. I did ask him about her biopsy and he told me everyhthing and did not hide that he has been talking to her. It was very hard, but I did it. I bit my tongue.
Later we went out and he treated my nicely for a change. I actually stood up for my self, we disagreed on a few things, not about our relationship just other things, but I told him that was ok, that's what makes us different and we did not have to agree on everything, just respect each other's opinions.
We seemed to click really well together today. He actually started talking about what happened and he actually said it was his and his gf fault and not mine. (I couldn't believe it) He admitted she was pushing things (I KNEW IT!) I did not say anything, just listened.
(he was tellin me too much) i told him I did not want to here what they have done together because it was hurting me. Also told him I understand that he has feelings for her, but it was not ok that he was still in contact with her and I honestly told him that I hope we really work on things and we grow closer and want to make him happy (there was a lot more to it than this, but...) as to where he won't feel he needs her anymore and that when it was ended she would be respecting herself and him and me and he would be respecting himself, me and her. (no more BS!)
And at one point I felt comfortable enough and asked him "what really happened to the picture in his wallet?" he told me it was her... (I KNEW IT!) he said it was the Saturday night when he was leaving her. He said he was piss**d about this and he has not said anything to her but that he was definitelly going to. (I Could not believe it - don't know if he will or not but that would be awesome - about time- one for me) but I told him that picture meant alot to me and I did not care if he said anything I was just glad he did not throw it away. I was so proud of myself! I felt good at the end of the day.
Alimari - you are a very strong person. Thanks for the your story. You have been through hell and back, too. You do inspire me. I tried to post on yours, but it is locked out. I hope you had a good day, also.
Thank you all, You give me strength to stand up for myself, Cissy
