I imagine we are also supposed to be civil to the OM, too if our spouses end up marrying them -- for the sake of our kids.
I will vent with you T....F-That....I do not ever think I could be civil to JSO. I have been too nice to the two of them as it is...
Quote:
What's the future hold? An amicable divorce where I'm a weekend dad and the OM gets to raise my sons and daughters? That fuck-face gets to steal my wife AND kids? Oh yeah, where I live, mothers generally get principle custody. By the way, he's been chronically unemployed for years. Imagine this -- I get to pay alimony, which might support him financially.
Hey T, I feel your pain and I am sorry brother. Unfortunately you have two ways to deal with it though....You can go through life being pissed off @ F-Face and letting him fill the rest of your life with unhappines and anger. Or you can choice to just let go of it and realize that there is nothing that any of us can do to change the F-ed up sitchs that we are in and move one. I chose option two because I want to be happy and I am not going to let the two of them bring me down anymore. They almost got a year out of my life and I decided it was time to take it back and be as happy as possible for my kids sake. Not too mention my own sanity.
I am very sorry for what you are going through T and I can tell you that it will get better if you take control back and make it better.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Well as far as the three percent goes, I do not think the STBX is ever going to marry JSO. First off because I would automatically get full custody and She would only get to visit them through a pane of glass but I reall do not think she is even into it as much anymore.
But 3% sounds about right.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Why wait till the end? What about now? What about living like a winner right now? Not defining success by accomplishment, but in doing? The journey, not the destination.
We are all winners here regardless of whether we save our marriage or not. And this is not a judgment by comparison, this is because it is who we are. Our actions don't make us this way - but we naturally want our actions to be in accord with our essences.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
Good point. I never really thought of it that way...
I guess I have already precieved myself at the end.
You never cease to amaze me Muddle. Now I am going to have to come up with another quote.
I guess we all put to much thought on the destination instead of just living for today. Eventhough I am in a lot better place today than I was for the past year or so I still seem to continue to look into the future and try to figure out what it will hold for me. I guess it is more like goal setting for my life and what I want out of it. The problem is that all we really have is today so we might as well make it the best day of our lives...
Thanks, Ben
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Theoden, yes you should start your own thread, not because you can't vent elsewhere, you are welcome to do it here anytime, but because I have found it helpful to work through the process of start to finish(except when they lock up unexpectedly).
I don't think that co-parenting is about being nice to everyone, it is more about acceptance that it is yet another thing that is out of our controll. She is and always will be the mother of your children, nothing can change that. OM is and most likely always will be a f@ck faced piece of sh!t, continue to build your kids moral character and they will know that fact for themselves!
We worry that our wives will fill their heads with their own twisted view of reality, and they probably will. What do we do about other sources of misinformation? TV, the internet, print adds, friends on the bus? As fathers, we continue to tell and show what is and is not acceptable behavior.
The strongest comment you can make about your wifes behavior is to demonstrate for your children an acceptable alternative. It is on your shoulders to be the moral center for your kids. What is it you really want them to learn? That honor,committment,fidelity, and loyalty are not just words found in books, that they are meaningful and powerful and relevent to their lives. You have it within you to teach all that by example.
81388 Me 43, waw 44, 3 kids(D15,D12,S6)Married 19yr, together 27yr. Bomb 11/27/06, Separated 3/1/07 Divorce filed 4/18/07,
"Because it is in giving that we receive; In forgiving that we obtain forgiveness; In dying that we rise to eternal life" St. Francis
