Myself and the MC voiced our opinions on the character of the OM. Genuinely good people don't do what OM did, in the sense of him crossing the line w/ a woman in a relationship. The MC told her to be very suspicious of his intentions, especially where he just came out of a long term relationship and was probably still depressed from that. You can't just turn feelings off though, so I understand, vocally to her, that she's hurting, and needs time to grieve. I sometimes just want to tell her to try it with him, but don't call me when he burns you too...
Right. It just gets frustrating knowing that she's not thinking about me right now, because I used to be the only thing she thought about. I wonder if showing her what it feels like to be without me would make her think twice about ending the relationship.
I FEEL she's noy thinking about me, or us. I just wonder what the best way to give her that time/space she needs is. Do I take myself out of the picture entirely using NC? It seemed like we made the most forward progress when I wasn't around.
I FEEL she's noy thinking about me, or us. I just wonder what the best way to give her that time/space she needs is. Do I take myself out of the picture entirely using NC? It seemed like we made the most forward progress when I wasn't around.
You FEEL....I understand that, but you have to stop letting her actions affect your moods. Believe me, I have BEEN THERE, and DONE THAT!!!!!! Ask most of the folks on my current thread
What's NC?
Detach, give her the space she's asked for but don't be mean. If she wants to do something, do it - (dinner, etc.) but don't push her to do things......
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
NC is No Contact, which I guess would be the extreme end of detaching. If I didn't ask her to do anything, we'd never go out! I couldn't be mean, but I really don't feel like we're making any progress.
When I originally asked her a day or two after I caught them, she said she felt like she couldn't talk to me because she knew I would judge her and criticize her. I wasn't meeting her EN. I've been changing the way we talk to each other, and it seems as though that wall that she used to put up is slowly coming down. I'm much more patient in our conversations now, and I don't interrupt her or judge her. She says part of her wants to experience life on her own because she feels like she has no identity. She has no friends of her own, and doesn't feel like OUR friends are truly hers too, they're more mine. Are all of these new feelings simply symptoms of an EA?
When I originally asked her a day or two after I caught them, she said she felt like she couldn't talk to me because she knew I would judge her and criticize her. I wasn't meeting her EN. I've been changing the way we talk to each other, and it seems as though that wall that she used to put up is slowly coming down. I'm much more patient in our conversations now, and I don't interrupt her or judge her. She says part of her wants to experience life on her own because she feels like she has no identity. She has no friends of her own, and doesn't feel like OUR friends are truly hers too, they're more mine. Are all of these new feelings simply symptoms of an EA?
HOLY COW!!!!!!!! Lots of similarities to my sitch.
Validate her
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
so you won't .... right?