you could ask her - but that might back fire.....although she knows you know about the EA.
You could also listen to her cues - what did they do or talk about?
Since you already know about the A, I don't think it would hurt to ask her what she saw in him, or what he gave her that you weren't @ the time. Matter of fact, scratch the first part - don't make it seem negative.....like what did you see in that POS but what did he do for her - that you weren't at the time - meaning you can and WILL do this for her now if it's anywhere at all in your scope of ability.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
No! Don't ask her to compare you to this other guy. Believe that you are worth loving because you are. Can you take her somewhere where they can't call or text each other? Or maybe there is someplace she has always wanted to go where you can rekindle your relationship away from OM? If the moment is right invite her to talk and then listen with all your soul. If you listen she will tell you. Resist jumping in to defend yourself or explain etc. Just nod and listen. At the end tell her she is wonderful and thank her for sharing her thoughts with you. Ask her if she knows how beautiful she is to you. Act happy and confidant. Figure out things to do that you probably after all these years know she would like to do and plan them without her. Good luck.
You read the infidelity chapter, find the reason the A started and see what was missing in your R. She is getting something there that she isn't getting at home. Affairs start for a reason, and you need to find it.
Are you talking about the affair? are you talking about the OM.
My wife tells me everything the OM is doing for her. No sex details, but what she is missing with me, and what she is getting from him. I will use this to better myself and then when the time is right I will use this to change in the more intimate ways.
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
We talked alot about the affair before she moved back in, not so much recently. We only talk about her feelings for the OM, only when I ask for an update on them. Every now and then I ask just to see if they've changed.
From what she's told me, they used to text each other and have phone conversations, besides just hanging out at work all the time. Anyone think I should detach myself from her and ask her to go back to her parent's, or is it better if she stays home?
Is she willing to talk about it when you ask? Because sometimes they feel guilt and respond in a negative way. My W is open, and I think she feels like it helps her get it off her chest. but when I bring up my feelings about it, she gets negative and wants a Divorce. So watch how you approach her with the questions. and if you can't handle the truth, don't ask.
M-31 W-25 S-1 1/2 bomb dropped 9-01-06,and repeating over and over "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." Groucho Marx.
but what did he do for her - that you weren't at the time - meaning you can and WILL do this for her now if it's anywhere at all in your scope of ability.