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I did put back on my wedding ring. I took it off because she wouldn't wear hers, and we got into that big fight three weeks ago. If she says anything I am going to say we are still married and I feel it is just right to show it. God blessed these rings and He would want that.

keep your ring on....

the judgement stuff was for me. I've got that problem.

--Theoden

Well, yesterday was a good day. I got a call from W just before I left work and she said I needed to take all the phones away. She is cutting off communication with OM and she wants no temptation. She is trying so hard, but I know there will be weak times. She doesn't know what she wants with us yet, but last night went pretty good. I told her I was there to support her, and I was there to help. I told her how proud I was of her to take the first step to getting on with her life, and stop leading herself down a self destructive path. She realizes that she was going to be having a breakdown and she needed to get away from this mess. The fight starts inside herself, and she is strong enough to win. I pray that she does, for our S, and hopefully our M. I am not going to talk about our M, untill she has won the battle within herself. I am very proud of her.

Who needs an amusment park. I am on a rollercoaster right now and I can't get off. OM called my W, and I tried to talk her out of calling him like she asked. We started to get in a fight, and I backed off. I told her maybe I am not the right person to help you. She agreed, She called him and they talked. After I went in to talk to her and I was ready to give it all up(emotions talking) and she told me not to worry, it went no where and she told me about the conversation. I felt better, but it still hurts. I asked her for reassurance that part of her wants to be with me, she said yes. she went to bed, and I went in to tell her I needed her help. I asked her to stop me if I started talking about our M, and that she knows how I feel, I don't need to keep telling her. She agreed and I made her chuckle at the end. I felt better about that and I think she will too. I need strength, and it is hard to find. But I know it's not going to come over night, but I hope it comes soon. I know they will talk again, and there is no doubt she will see him. But I have to keep praying that GOD will give her the strength to overcome this.

I need to hold on, just a while longer for my S. If it wasn't for him I would of given up a long time ago. I know she would of filed way back when. She is leaving town for the next few days, and then will be gone the next week. Then the true test because she must go out of town the week after that and he will be there. but she is making arrangments with other coworkers to try to avoid him. This will give us time apart, and I think after the first week together after six months of seperation, we need some time. I need everyones support for the next few weeks to hold on to whats left. Thank you

Well, My W went out last night with her friend. They had a good time. It felt good to see her coming home after having a good time out. She needs it. She sits in the house thinking about OM, and it drives her nuts.

I did come home yesterday and they were on the phone. I did very well, she hung up the phone and mumbled F-ing d--k. She was upset and I just asked you o.k., she called her parents and then her boss. After she got off the phone I asked her if she wanted to vent, because I would listen. So here we go. Again she says she hates him and he is an as---ole. I asked her if it was o.k. to talk to me about this and she was fine with it. So we talked like friends about it, and she was very negative towards him. She does this everytime, gets off the phone and is PO'D at him. So she went on about things and we had a very good talk. I asked her why does she want him so bad. She says women are like that, they are attracted to the As--oles, and the nice guys are pushed to the side. She said she knows that she is being stupid and she knows she needs to stop, but she says it's hard. I did good and didn't tell her how I felt, didn't talk about our M. I was strong.

I don't know if these talks are the right thing to do, but I know she needs to let go and vent. I get some reassurance in them, but I only give her positive advice about herself. I build her back up. I just need to hang on, and keep my emotions away from my reactions. She leaves today to go work in a different area, I am nervous, but I think it needs to be. I was able to give her a hug last night before I went to bed, It felt good.

James,

She said she's atrracted to assholes -- she means a guy that doesn't ask her permission to have a life. Someone "assertive".

The wya you can be assertive is simply to be happy and get on with you mission in life. Find your personal power that doesn't depend on her, and she'll probably find that attractive.

Before you even try this...think about fun 180'a that would show your assertiveness. ;-)

Run then by us briefly.

--Theoden

Well, I am going to go out to the bar thurs. night. I will have trapped in the house for three days, and I will need an escape by then.

I talked to the coach, and the first thing is to quit showing my emotions, quit talking about our M, and I have been showing her that I am more in power with myself by making plans that don't evolve around her. I told her, not asked, that I was going to work out after work on thurs and Fri, then I told her I was going to church on Sat. and offered an invitation. But I was not being the way I was, and just coming home after work. I am doing things on my own.

I see a positive, that is she is calling me more at work, and she is trying to stay away from OM. I know this is hard for these people in her situation, but I just have to let it run it's course. She has been telling me everything about the affiar. I am not to interested in all of it, but I let her just keep talking so she can hear herself. I am working on my GAL again, and The problem is for the next three weeks, she will be out of town. Well, it's good but it's bad. Good because I think we need a little space, moving back in has put a little stress, but not as much as I thought, which is good because the A is out and harder for her to be involved in it. Another good is she will be up north, away from him, for the next two weeks. She is spending today thru wed night up there, and then next sunday thru fri., with her parents. Cell phone doesnt work there. So, I will have to deal with her being gone where I can't be there for her. But I won't have to stress if I do see her on the phone. Then She goes to work a week where he is also, and thats stressing. But, I will not worry, because She has alot of others around and I think they will help. By then he might be so angry and not even want to pursue it. But Time will tell.

Those three weeks is when I will really focus on GAL, I will have time to re-read the 180's and get focused for when she comes back.

question - if he's such an a**hole, why does she still take his phone calls? Do ya'll have caller ID? Can you change your #'s?

It's not the fact of her not taking his calls. It's the fact that she has an addiction, and has the craving to talk to him. She is confused and isn't sure what she wants. Part of the manipulation of him. He is the temptation of excitement, I am the good hearted loving family man. She needs to have a reality check and realize whats best. Get treated very well and have a stable family life, or get treated bad, probably go down hill health wise, and not have a family. Then break up with him. She needs time to figure out her life, she didn't have any excitement for a long time, and Last night she went out, and today she sounded upbeat. He needs to back off, and she will stop the A, it's just temptation.

I went to church and the mass was about temptation. I had to laugh because I invited her but she isn't feeling good. The Father told the story about Jesus being tempted in the woods while he was fasting for the 40 days. He was tempted by the Devil to turn a rock into fresh bread. Then he was tempted to do two other things but refused. This started out with the Bill Clinton scandall with his A, and I really chuckled because if she would have come, she would of got angry from her own guilt. Father said Don't use what you have to get what you want. I am trying to put this into my situation, but I have a hard time doing that. But I understand how it relates to people in general.

Well, I moved back to Infidelity and am going to stay there. I am not piecing by any means since she will not let got of the A. Boy that sounds familiar, Sounds like everyone else in that area.
I hope to be back soon, but I have little hope..........