Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Still in the fight

My logistical concern is that the way my wife has this laid out, she will be divorced and remarried before the outhouse starts to get ripe. No extended time together prior to divorce and OM showing up in our neck of the woods.

Of course that all remains to be seen.

8, just keep in mind that what they say and what they actually do can be two different things. Often, I believe, we take every word that comes out of their mouths as gospel truth cuz they SOUND so sure. It's important to remind ourselves that the WAS is just as messed up, and probably more so, as we are. Take it one day at a time, we can handle all that we're given in one single day. If you're staying and fighting stick to taking it one day at a time!

8,

We'll see, won't we? She may choke when the moment comes. Maybe she'll leave, maybe she won't. Planning a second wedding will make his shit stink real bad. His true character will come out.

Not only have you been a great husband, you are going to be a better, stronger, faster, sexier, husband than ever before.

You are better than that ass-licking, pile of aardvark vomit.

But...you are going to be better than you ever were.

But..you need to come alive and be fun and mysterious. The stand-by-your-marriage guy is a little dull right now.

Remember, be the other man. She knows you love her. She knows you are there. Booorrrring!!!!

She needs to feel your absence in subtle, but oh-so-delicious ways. She needs to get blind-sided by your charm, poise and craziness.

You mentioned that GAL is tough since you have an active life.

How aboutthings that are not usual for you to try that might be fun? Something artistic/creative? Something strange? Something that you've always wanted to try?

Ballroom dancing?
Salsa? Tango?
Karate? Kung-Fu?
Painting Icons? Painting Landscapes?
Rock Climbing?
Ice Climbing?
Crazy-ass testosterone sport?
Voice lessons?
A class on theology/philosophy?
A film class?

I'm going to take Karate because it's a very " wear your heart on-your-sleeve" I'm gonna crack your skull kind of sport. I'm too much of a pussy and a diplomat, so I need to have some kind of kick the mo-fo's ass sport where my heart, mind and body say, "bring it on, asshole!!!" I need to be more assertive, yet dangerously controlled.

I want to know, that if I had to, I could pull out that bastards intestines with my bare-hands. ;-)

Anger issues? Me?

Hehehehehehe

By the way, this poem is about Thedoen, the character in Lord of the Rings. It's a


--Theoden

Woooops...

Here's that kick-ass poem about Theoden, the warrior who fought with courage in a great battle in the book, The Lord of the Rings....

Out of doubt, out of dark, to the day's rising
he rode singing in the sun, sword unsheathing.
Hope he rekindled, and in hope ended;
over death, over dread, over doom lifted
out of loss, out of life, unto long glory.

Makes your blood boil, doesn't it....

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggh!!!!!!

I actually had thought about latin dance, do I ask her along and then go by my self, or just let her figure it out?

Go yourself...if it's fun, keep it up.

Ask her to come if you want her to come. It's always good to do something together. If she wants to, great. I'm not betting she'll do it anytime soon. You may want something "just for you"

Latin dance will make you more poised, mysterious and sexy.

I'll also give you a chance to meet other women...not so great if you REALLY want to DB.

Hehehehehe.

Options, options, options ;-)

Just don't share with any woman in Latin class your marriage problems. Don't make close female friends in Latin dance. As I've discovered, sharing your marriage problems is a signal saying to them: I'm a solid, sensitive, hard-working, provider, please jump my bones.

What do you REALLY want 8?

--Theoden

8, my ballroom dance class includes Latin dance! It's fun. I was going to take it by myself originally as a GAL activity but then decided to ask W cuz she always wanted to do BR dance (and the singles classes were 3 hrs long, couples classes were 1.5 hrs...you know which way I went!). I had always said "NO WAY!" I figured this time why take dance and then have no one to dance with, that's what I told her. Afterwards (when she said yes and I got up off the floor) it actually occurred to me that this could be a good way for us to work at something together, maybe create a connection...WRONG! But as Theo says, it'll give you something to use to pick up other women, if nothing else

I agree, busy or not, I need to do something different. I would fall under the same heading as you TO, a pussy and a diplomat.

That is one of the things I worry about w/ DB, not blowing a gasket over the OM is just "more of the same". My W has always had close relationships w/ men, and I have tolerated them for all the right reasons, but I think it gave the impression that I didn't care.

I also like the martial arts idea. Although I have a very active outdoorsy job, it has been awhile since I did anything full contact. Played rugby for the first 9-10 years of our relationship. Very aggressive, very macho.

Ever since we started having children and my W pursued her current work, our roles have reversed. She is the high adrenaline, high testosterone person and I have done more of the kids and nurturing, and in the process have become a bit of a homebody, and certainly less of a manly man. I know that is why her initial response to begging and pleading was so negative and exagerated, and why initial response to DB was so positive.

Each time I stand up for myself and be the man, the ultimate response is positive, although the initial one rearly is.

I need to get back in touch with my warrior side. I am in good shape, but rugby is out of the question BTW, I have picked up Lord of the rings about 7 times in my life and never been able to get past the first chapter, I may need to try again

How you doing 8? Just checking up on your sit. Hey, in regards to standing up for yourself, It's not so much being the "Man" as not tolerating being disrespected and that is a cross-gender attitude.

She will ultimately respect you if your willing to demand it. Nobody, Man or Woman likes to be disrespected.

ATGO; I meant it in quotes, I agree neither men nor women want to or should be disrespected, although I must admit it is getting harder to respect W because of the choices she is making, but again that is the diff between respecting and being respectful. I can be respectful without respecting her choices.