You are so right about men taking longer to heal. My H has mentioned things from years ago during our separation. I couldn't even remember some of them!
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THINK POSITIVE! Your SL was good before, it will take time, but it will get there again. It's only natural. Don't be afraid
Hope you're right. H is being so like he was when we met it is killing me to not be able to even kiss him!! I seem to fall more in love every day - which is a good thing but it makes it harder and more frightening every day too. He doesn't seem to realise what effect even his smile has on me.
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So positive affirmations and visualizations. Keep looking at your wedding pictures or happy pictures of the family and focus on that.... Then see it become real. Dreams do come true... Speaking from experience.
OK I will try my hardest Rainbowlove. At the moment when I look at our wedding pictures its mixed emotion I feel. I feel half happy remembering it but then half sad that H doesn't feel like he did then right now. I am tending to use more recent things that H may have said or done to try to keep positive. Like the other day he said he missed me calling him by a pet name when we were separated - I think that shows he loves me deep down in his heart. I broke the frame of one of our wedding pictures in despair the day H dropped the bomb. It is hidden away. When I'm sure we have made it I'll have to reframe it.
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Sending you loads of love and positive thoughts. You are doing great Inpain. You've DBed successfully. You're a hero to us all here. We're counting on you. Do it for us if not for you! So happy that you were able to not get into ML convo with H and that he acknowledged. You guys are so meant to be...I can feel it. There is enormous amounts of love there dear....
Thank you so much for the compliments! Gosh that's a lot of people counting on me!! no pressure then! I was pleased I managed a whole day without ML convo and I managed it again today!!! Its funny you said H and I are meant to be...that is what I kept on saying to everyone around me who thought I was crazy doing this DBg and not just getting over him. I kept on saying "I love him and I just can't believe we're over, we're supposed to be together forever" Hopefully I was right and this is the start of my wonderful new M! Thank you so much for your posts Rainbowlove they really help me a lot.
You are so right about men taking longer to heal. My H has mentioned things from years ago during our separation. I couldn't even remember some of them!
I hate to chime in hear and although I agree with you about men taking longer to heal, so do women. I've apolgized at least 3 or 4 times to my W regarding her 40th birthday party 3 years ago (I will spare you the details) and she still brings this back in my face. Obviously, she has never forgiven me and I will not grovel and apologize for this again because it makes no difference to begin with anyway
Well at last you'll be pleased to hear I've had a great day! I read most of DR last night in bed as I decided I really needed to remind myself of some of it. I kind of discovered why I'm struggling. I'm still in LR mode because that is really the chapter I read over and over because we were separated. Having read most of it again I have now realised I should no longer be doing that and should now be doing the beginning chapters that apply when partner is interested in saving the M. So I woke up today feeling much more positive (hooray I hear you all cry!!).
Met up with H in town and bought a gorgeous top and some new jeans as all mine are now 3 sizes too big thanks to the wonderful WAS diet. (one of the good things to come from this stich). I feel fab in the top and H said I looked very slim in it - which I did.
Anyway the best bit is when we got home H hugged me for ages in the kitchen and I had a bit of a suggestive joke about with him and then he decided to have a nap before his shift. He said things must be changing because what just happened hadn't made him feel uncomfortable AND he kissed me, properly, and he definitely wanted to and he definitely didn't feel awkward doing it. It was amazing, it blew me away and now I'm on cloud 9!!!! If this is what I get from 3 days of silence on the subject it definitely gives me an incentive to carry on.
I wonder if the rest of us piecers are still in LR mode when we shouldn't be. I think because most of us start off in such a dire sitch we have to do LR mode and don't pay much attention to the bits of the book for less dire M problems.
I have been on LR technique since Oct. It took a lot or praying on my part, soul searching, opening up my heart to God and asking the Lord to allow me to see me as he sees me. I to carried a grudge for along time. That was a conscience choice I made. Thank God I choose not to do that anymore since I recognized all the poor choices I made in the past. Life is too short to begin with.
I pray everyday that God will soften her heart, but her choice is not to do that since all humans have a free will. I have to admit that it sadens me that my patience is wearing thin and depressing me. I'm not at my W about this, just sad. CY
Yeah! I'm so happy for you girl! A real good French kiss is nothing to frown at... Ooooh, I wish I have a French kiss soon...with JG.
But seriously. I'm so glad you figured it out. It's the best feeling when we crack open the puzzle, isn't it?
You're doing so well and ALL IS COMING MY FRIEND!
Here's a nice quote of the day for you:
"The future is not there waiting for us. We create it by the power of imagination." Pir Vilayat Khan
Isn't it awesome! (((hugs)))
I bought the cutest necklace yesterday. I'm going to a party tonight and will be wearing my hot top to go with it! Hello push up bra! Congrats on the weight loss btw. The company I work for does weight loss. You might want to check out the diet tools section. Here's the website: http://www.hmrprogram.com
rainbowlove ----------------------- JG is coming back to me and we're going to have a family. Positive thinking!
you're telling me!!! Sending positive thoughts your way that you will have one soon with JG.
I'm glad I figured it out too. I am going to read the rest of DR chapters that didn't really apply before tonight as I only read them briefly back then and H is at work all night so its a good opportunity to. It just hit me while I was reading that I was doing the wrong bits for my sitch!! crazy!
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The future is not there waiting for us. We create it by the power of imagination." Pir Vilayat Khan
Love that it is great! If my imagination is anything to go by my future is going to be awesome!!!
Hope you have a great time at the party. Its great when you buy new things that make you feel good in them. I'm sure you'll have fun.
thank you for the link about dieting. However, I do not need to lose anymore I'm only 8 1/2 stone now (sorry don't know how to convert it) and english size 8 which basically means I'd be invisible if I got any thinner! Trouble is the clothes I bought about 2 months after H left because I had none that fit are now to big. I need to get things altered.
OK - I'm jealous!!! Don't talk to me about size 8 - I'm dreaming of a 14!!!!
But seriously IP - I'm so glad you're feeling better and got a good old fashioned snog - sometimes there's nothing better
I'm glad you re-read DR - I think sometimes it needs a refresher course...I just wish they had to Piecing book out there,,,but SD and I have planned to write one...want in?
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
OK - I'm jealous!!! Don't talk to me about size 8 - I'm dreaming of a 14!!!!
Sorry to make you jealous Jen. Some shops I'm a 10!
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But seriously IP - I'm so glad you're feeling better and got a good old fashioned snog - sometimes there's nothing better
Hey it will do me nicely for now!! I'm just glad I didn't ask for it and it wasn't forced. It must be a sign that things are getting there. Even H called the whole incident a little step forward which made me smile - has he been reading my DR behind my back!?!?
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I'm glad you re-read DR - I think sometimes it needs a refresher course...I just wish they had to Piecing book out there,,,but SD and I have planned to write one...want in?
Yes it has definitely made me feel more positive reading it. Yeah I'll join you on writing that book although I'm not as good at it as you and SD. Great to hear from you again.
Well, hooray for you, IP what a nice surprise for you!! I am glad you are reading more in DR, I am starting to read some of the MLC stuff, to understand where my H is now.
You two are definitely looking good! I know you are on top of the world right now. What JJ said about writing a book, I think there could be a lot of books potentially from what I read here. Too bad Diary of a Mad Housewife has already been written.
I feel so happy for you, IP. I hope you have a great weekend.
Thank you so much for the compliments! Gosh that's a lot of people counting on me!! 
no pressure then! 
Congrats on the weight loss btw. The company I work for does weight loss. You might want to check out the diet tools section. Here's the website: 