My girlfriends just left and now I find myself doing all those things he did for me. Checking the locks, turning off the lights... I miss him. But you are all correct, this is my time to find what makes me happy. For so long, my every action was to make sure he was good, healthy and whole. I never thought that I would ever b on my own. But as I sit here and type I realize that I my be physically alone but my soul is embraced by all of you who have felt my pain and will walk me through the process.
I was up very early today. My house is a mess and there are so many empty spaces. I feel like I need to immediately place something there to replace my H things. He took most of his things but left a lot behind. He left all of our pictures together. I don't want to take them down. I love them and teh life we had. I tell myself that he's not coming back, but I keep hoping he'll change his mind. It hasn't even been 24hrs and I feel so lost and on the verge of tears!!!
I know this process is very hard and I'm in it for the long haul, but it just seems impossible right now.
You never know what can happen. Don't change anything you don't feel comfortable with. Do what will make you happy right now. You are under no pressure at all. It does seem impossible right now; I know it. I never thought I could do all the things I ended up having to do in the past 18 mo. but somehow I did them. You can do this. Cry and let it out because that will help. You have to let the pain out. In doing so, you will find yourself stronger every day. keep posting...
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
sleeping has become a huge challenge for me. any advice? I am trying to avoid medication & alcohol, but I'm exhausted. This is the first time in 14 years that we don't speak at least once in the day. I called his voicemail at work, just to hear his voice. (pathetic, I know)
I too have trouble sleeping. Don't know how the weather is there, but I walk lots. Anything physical to wear myself out. Yardwork, sit-ups till I can't move (ok, so that's only ten ). It also helps to clear my head so I can think.
I am going back to the gym today. I hope it helps.
I'm a bit torn about some events that transpired yesterday. I checked our mutual bank account and he has spent close to $600.00 getting settled in his new place. It makes me angry and I want to confront him about it. But I agreed to NO CONTACT for two weeks when he left on Saturday. Plus, he left with the basics and I know he needs things. We also agreed that the mutual account was only to pay household accounts, no personal use. What do I do?
If he left with only the basics and you know he needs things, I think I might let it go for the two weeks. Stick to your guns. Then if you need to confirm that the money is only for household stuff.
I agree with celestial. Monitor; say nothing right now. I know it is early on for you but you may want to get your own cc and checking accts. if you don't already. One thing I've seen here is the debt these MLC'ers create. My own H included. I got smart and got my own accts. set up. Just food for thought. We end up having to think on the defensive, sadly enough.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
). It also helps to clear my head so I can think.