Quoting lostlove: I grow tired of reading this board and seeing how many men there are out there that would do anything for their wives and children while I sit here holding out for a man who does what he wants for himself.
I don't blame you, Jen. I don't blame you at all. I am sometimes at a loss as well.
Just a few thoughts in my previous post; did not mean to offend and sorry if I did...Chuck
I am not easily offended chuck, infact I welcome the oppinions and thoughts of others round here.....
i just don't know what I am to do.....I don't need to be special to someone I want to be special to someone...H used to be someone special to me... but at last I see that the place I held him was not deserved... he is but a man... there is nothing special about him.... the things I once thought so wonderful about him he has proved he is not... I accepted his lagging libido...accepted the total lack of romanticisim figured these things fade in all r's... but the things I always held onto most were that h is loyal and honorable.... these two very important things I have found to be completely false...
I am tired of waisting my time on a man who I'm not so sure deserves it anymore.... there once was a time (long long ago) when I thought I didn't deserve him, that he was a gift to me.... that was then.... slowly slowly he turned into a person who was just there, i went from being "someone special" (actaully h gave me a heart shaped charm saying so many many years ago before m) to just being someone who was there.
I don't want to be with someone who is not sure if they want to be with me or not. I deserve much more than that. I am tired of holding onto this man and i am tired of not being able to give the love I hold inside me to give to someone... dbing is great and all but I don't want that kind of r... I want to share my feelings, I want to say ily to someone and know it is ok to say it... I want a real r, this is a joke and I am tired of being the clown that I do not need to be.... before i married h there were plenty of men who told me not to marry, hell there where plenty of men who appreciated the person i am and would do anything for me... h always had me and stopped, yes he is still nice, still makes tea bla bla bla but i am tired of not knowing i want romance and i dont have it here, h has forgotten or doesn't want to give it to me anymore..
i want to go home!!! but no longer know where home is. LL
Hiya LL . Rough way to end the weekend . Oh well, it's all good! You travel your road and he will travel his and I will travel mine and so on! Dont let anyone tell when it is time to move on or stick to it, only YOU can decide that.
I COMPLETELY understand what you're going through. I saw my wife for the tonight and spent time with her and d for the first time this weekend and you know what? I can honestly say, that even though I had a good time, I felt nothing for her...that's s first! I WILL BE MORE THAN ALRIGHT with or without her and actually, with her being so damn moody and always focussing on the negative in her life, I was glad to be going home alone tonight. I have learned a lot about myself this weekend, and one of those things is that I WILL not make every effort to please her only to be greeted by undecidedness (????? is that a word ). Only you know...that's the most important thing righht now.
You're right, again!!!I guess I see your h spending nights, touching, etc...the physical part is what I need too, but that should not be the foundation to a happy m.I think if my h is hurt by my mistrust for him, it is going to take time for him to feel these things again, if ever. When we were out last night, he hugged some people, and I just ache for the same. Petty I know to want that part too.I should be thankful for where I am in this r, it seems to be more positive than realize. I saw a quote the other day and it said"want what you have" Kinda weird, but it makes a statement.Take care, my prayers will include you tonight. Sue
Wow....busy thread today. My response is quick, and it applies to my W and your H......FISH OR CUT BAIT!!! Your H needs to decide if he wants to be a part or full time H. My W needs to decide if she wants to be on her own or not! Can't have one foot in the door.
Great to see you, Dotty and Chuck last night! And yes....I do plan to get out and see the world!
Quote: Another example is his Sunday night out. I don't think that is a battle you will ever win, so I would say whether you want to pick this one as your battle? It could take a very candid conversation between you two about his Sunday night out. You two may have to compromise with some sort of arrangement, like he hangs out with his buddies every other week or you do some party thing at your house. That is an unfortunate reality that we always have to compromise, no matter who you have an R.
last sunday I did say to him "why don't you get the game ticket (cable thing) that friend has... then that way you could have him here to watch the games too... then you'd be happy cause you get to watch the game with your buddy and I'd be happy cause you'd be here... I'd even make snacks for ya.... all I get is a maybe eventually i will...
whatever.... all the potential for a happy healthy fun marriage is here... h just doesn't know if he wants it or not.... went to ow for that "feeling" if that "feeling" is what he's waiting for it aint gonna happen.... to many years with me and their is no illusion of a r... there is a family and a home... something he never had with her... hell they were just "friends" I can't give him that... ther are responsibilities here... it is not all fun and games here...
he can have the world here.... you may not think it upon meeting me and seeing my outward ways... but the man lived like a king here... two happy kids attended to by me, a home attended to by me... good meals cooked and served by me.... family (his) entertained by me.... an attractive w who begged for sex... who wanted to go out and do stuff or hell stay home and do stuff.... he works... he plays... he had the life... he fd up by spending time with ow and leaving now has the opportunity to come home but is still fuing it up...
talked to a friend today and he said.... to air is human to forgive devine but to ignore forgiveness is just plain stupid...
I am willing to forgive h his wrongs and move on and be happy but I am not willing to hang on waiting for him to decide... come home and be happy... stop dragging me around or there will be no home for you to come home to... it will be the home of my children and i and you will be but a guest in it.
LL
ahhhh I feel better now!
h left at 1pm.... called at 6 but my gf was on the phone.... h called again at 825... all he could say was are you gonna watch the game... it's on channel bla bla I said i don't know I might or i might read... he said ok talk to you in the morning...
ya ok whatever!!
ok well I spent to much time at the puter last night.... didn't intend to... had lit a fire and was going to read but in checking in here ended up in an im with a friend... at about 11 went to enjoy the fire i had lit and peeked at the game a flipped a few channels as it was to late to read.. was annoyed at the fact that h hadn't bothered to call again at least to say goodnight but shouldn't expect anything and just went to sleep at 11 30... I was awoken by the phone at 12 30am... h calling to say good night...
I'll admit that did make me feel better and I thanked him for calling...
what h doesn't realize is how pittifully easy it is to please me... call me...for no reason.. whatever the time...let me know that you are thinking of me... hey call my cell even if I am out with my friends... it will not be taken as you invading my space it will be taken as you missing me... some of these things I have communicated to h and he seems to be obliging at times but then he is also the type to not do things right away when you ask because then it doesn't seem as good cause you asked....
I don't know... it is 935 and h still hasn't called.... could be he is still asleep or could be he is busy... I may go to the movies tonight with a gf who is feeling down.. but also don't want to be rude to h... but then again h is the one who doesn't know what he wants and perhaps if what he kinda wants isn't sitting around when he gets here he'll have more to think about.
LL
sheeesh.... seems like while i'm posting about the fact that h hasn't called is typically when he calls!!
Don't drive yourself crazy about whether he calls or not! Your H and my W have 1 foot in the door and 1 out. Ya know...it's cold outside....sooner or later we gotta slam it shut!
Quoting JimFromBoston:Don't drive yourself crazy about whether he calls or not!
It is a process to emotiionally detach, isn't it? Even for someone emotionally strong as you are.
Just make sure you are happy with yourself. You are supposed to be the Queen of the family. Besides the necessary duties in the throne, you deserve to be treated well yourself...
. Rough way to end the weekend 
. Oh well, it's all good! You travel your road and he will travel his and I will travel mine and so on! Dont let anyone tell when it is time to move on or stick to it, only YOU can decide that. 