Hi ladies I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving too,,,
Yoyo you are actualy sooooooooooooooo right while I do like the little things ny H does enjoy being extravagant also and in the past I always said no too...
Not anymore.. he wants to get me a new Range Rover next year and you know what the old me would have said no that is too much BLAH, BLAH BLAH,,,, not anymore. I said ok honey,, and I even reminded him @ it yesterday..!!! I was guity of always saying no and i realize it is not that I am being materialistic which is something I would not like to be thought of as but that I am just allowing him to spoil me and it actually makes him feel good! I was for a very long time denying him this,,,,, he does alot for me now that I would have said not to before,,,, awhile ago he paid for a set of nails for me at a posh Salon here and also a Brazilian wax ((( OUCH!!!!))) AND SHE WAXED MY LEGS TOO NOT THAT WAS AWESOME...... SO YES AS A MATTER OF FACT I HAVE HAD SECOND THOUGHTS AND I WILL ACCEPT HIS EXTRAVAGANCE MORE NOW THAN EVER BUT I DO STILL WANT HIM TO DO MUNDANE THINGS WITH ME LIKE GO TO THE GROCERY STORE WITH ME,, plus then he can see how the bill gets so high,,, we have 4 kids at home.
Going thru H*ll like he put me thru awhile ago sure does change a Girl. And you know what I like the new Me!!!! God bless....
I think you set a record for having the most happy/sad/embarassed faces in one post, lol.
I am SO glad things are looking up for you.
As far as the "just wanting him to go to the grocery store with you" thing, I think my W likes that kind of thing too but in the past, somehow I percieved that she DIDN'T want me to do that, just like I thought she didn't want me downstairs with her when I was home.
What she wanted was for me to go out of my way to go with her to the store, and for me to be with her downstairs when I had other things I COULD be doing. She wanted me to make a choice to be with her, not just do it by default.
hi alimari, i got one message from you regarding my H's changing behavior. While he hasn't said he wants to come back, I sometimes feel like he does.
What was it that made your H come back? Was it your appearance, attitude, lack of love...what was it? i find it truly amazing that your marriage is back on track. i sure hope that'll be my case one day. i'm working on ME right now. i have a hard time though. like today for example. i was just dragging all day long. i kept thinking of the night we spent together, last week. i couldn't believe we were affectionate but he quickly backed off. i started to cry because i knew that reality was not what i wanted. i want my H at home with me and the kids. i have no clue where he is. i have no clue what he's feeling. he won't talk to me about us right now.
me = 34 H = 35 kids = 3 worst day of my life: march 24, 2006 he filed: april 20 Present day: Wedding ring on, he's looking forward to another baby, taking day by day, we talk about our feelings whenever possible.
What she wanted was for me to go out of my way to go with her to the store, and for me to be with her downstairs when I had other things I COULD be doing. She wanted me to make a choice to be with her, not just do it by default.
Maybe that's you too
That is me for sure I want to feel chosen too and I realize that it feels so good when he chooses me and he could be doing something else,,,,
Sure I enjoy the gifts but what I always wanted was just him and he always held back.. Thanks for your post and I am sure I do have the record,, I am a very silly person once in awhile . God bless...
This is great stuff - we cannot love others until we love ourselves....*WE* control our own happiness
Exactly,, and it feels so good to live like this,,, Thank you for posting,, I have read some of your posts and I am flattered you woud take time to post to me. God bless....
Glad you had a nice holiday! Things continue to move in the right direction for you. I am so happy for you. You have worked really hard - and you continue to work hard - and it is paying off.
Continue to push for the best in yourself and through your passion for life and love - your H will want to come along for the ride.
(Heck - I'll take a ride in the Range Rover with ya!)
My H just left angry and I teared up a little but I let Him go and he did not see me upset,, he is stressed from work and my son threw up so I was trying to help him clean up his mess and I was a little frustrated and my H dd not like this,, I do notice that when I am like this it seems to set him off, sometimes I feel like I always have to walk around Super Happy or he cannot deal with it,,,,
I dunno ,,,,But I am not going to sit here upset like I would have in the past..I cleaned the bathroom and I cleaned our room some and I will go to bed shortly,,,,
He is also going to go to Mexico in a few weeks and stay there over Christmas and my Bday is 3 days after Christmas,, so is hurts a little but I really did not want to go ( so why press the subject?) and he will be going alone ( his choice he did not invite me)and he asked me if I wanted him to take one of the children with him and I told him no,, now my 7 year old wants to go with him and my H said that was fine ( my son said he would like to go fishing with his Dad and his Grandpa) but I am nervous @ it,, my son gets sick easily,, and my inlaws do not have heat or a hot water heater and I am scared my son will get sick,, It gets cold for a few days sometimes a week around the time they will be there,, any advice on this subject will be greatly appreciated....
Also my son has my temperment and has never been alone with his Dad for 3 weeks,, I am very nervous and it is hard to explain why....
WE are doing well in our R but I see my H needs to learn to deal better with his emotions,,, I hope he will try to work on this and when he goes to Mexico ,, I wil miss him but I will keep working on me and get caught up on housework , read, start working out again and enjoy myself,, I promised my Girls I would take them to the YMCA OFTEN,, THEY ARE VERY EXCITED ACTUALLY!
I AM JUST AFRAID HE WILL TURN UGLY AGAIN while he is there he gets like Jeckyl and Hyde,, so hot and cold and it is exhausting,, I do feel like this time I will be stronger....and he can act up if he wants to but he will have to keep his gift this time I hope to not take it on,, like last time. ONLY TIME WILL TELL AND HE STILL HAS THE D*MN TATTOO HE KEEPS SAYING HE WILL GO AND THEn HE DOESNT call the next day.... BUT HE DOES TELL ME TO CALl AND MAKE APPOINTMENT,, THE TATTOO PARLOR SEEMS TO NEVER ANSWER WHEN I CALL? I DUNNO WHY?
Well enough rambling for one day God bless you all, thanks for listening....
Quote: He is also going to go to Mexico in a few weeks and stay there over Christmas and my Bday is 3 days after Christmas
Ouch! Do you guy's just not celebrate Christmas or something?
Quote: he asked me if I wanted him to take one of the children with him and I told him no,, now my 7 year old wants to go with him and my H said that was fine ( my son said he would like to go fishing with his Dad and his Grandpa)
That sounds like a dream come true to a 7 year old boy.
Quote: but I am nervous @ it,, my son gets sick easily,, and my inlaws do not have heat or a hot water heater and I am scared my son will get sick,,
Don't make decisions based on fear. So what if your son get's sick, so what? Your H has somehow lived to maturity, your son will survive too. It's OK to suffer a little in the name of fishing and bonding with Dad and Grandpa. I was duck hunting yesterday and my teeth were chattering for hours on end. I honestly thought I was going to get hypothermia, but you could'nt have pride me out of the blind with a shovel. Not while the duck's were flying. I probably would have died right there and that's not a bad way to go. An adventure with Dad, especially a dangerous adventure, will do wonders for your 7 year old boy. Let go, and trust God to protect them.
It's OK, some people do manage to survive without heat and hot water. It just adds to the adventure. Just pack an extra sweater for him.
Quote: Also my son has my temperment and has never been alone with his Dad for 3 weeks,,
Perfect time for the two of them to be alone together. Try to look at the positive potential in this. They'll bond, and they'll make memories to talk about forever. And you'll never be able to say that he "has never been alone with his Dad for 3 weeks". Your H will take care of him.
Quote: I am very nervous and it is hard to explain why....
You're nervous because you'll be giving up control, as if you are really in control anyway.
Quote: I AM JUST AFRAID HE WILL TURN UGLY AGAIN while he is there he gets like Jeckyl and Hyde,, so hot and cold and it is exhausting,, I do feel like this time I will be stronger....and he can act up if he wants to
Good, you just stay strong, keep above it. You need to lovingly explain you'll not be treated unfairly, harshly, etc. if that happens. Otherwise, if you want the right to just be upset if you need to be, then he should have the same right. Sometimes we just feel miserable and we take it out on those closest to us. It does'nt mean you have to be pulled into the spin cycle with him. Get it?
Quote: ONLY TIME WILL TELL AND HE STILL HAS THE D*MN TATTOO
Better back off on that one. I mean better accept that he'll just have it forever and accept it. Then it'll be a really special day if he gets it changed, instead of him fulfilling your need. In either case it's not really your business. It's his body, his decision, his mistake. Don't keep reminding him of it.
Keep up the good work.
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
Thank you so so much for replying to my post,, I do not know where they came from but the tears did not stop coming as I read your post COG,, I feel very blessed that you would take time to post to me,, you seem so full of wisdom, I love to read your posts. I agree my son will make wonderful memories it is me who is more scared than him...I am PETRIFIED... JUST TYPING THIS I AM CRYING LIKE A BLUBBERING IDIOT.... I do feel scared but I will accept it and embrace it and work thru it..MY SON IS MY LITTLE ANGEL FROM GOD JUST WHEN HE SMILES THE ROOM LIGHTS UP AND YOU KNOW IF YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN his little face when he said he wants to go to Mexico just so he can fish with his Dad and his Grandpa,, he made my heart melt. He almost made me cry, I had to hold back the tears.
You hit the nail on the head and I honestly had no clue where the fear was coming from or the nervousness.
And you know what Christmas is my Favorite time of year and after all I am very spritual and pray alot ever since I was a little girl,, and then my Birthday is three days later,, so yes a BIG GIANT OUCH.... ( to his Family it is not as special)He did this also 3 years ago and it was painful and I did ok.... as a matter of fact my H said he missed me terribly. this time I am choosing to not go thru the pain and not cry and make the best of it,, bake cookies, go to the YMCA with my girls and go to church on Christmas Eve and just be thankful that I am alive and healthy and have so many blessings and that most of all God does love me... aside from all the pain I have gone thru . I have grown so much and I intend to keep growing and he blesses me everyday with being humble and never giving up and also Beautiful people like you COG and many others here who take time out of their day to respond to me,, I know there is a God and he loves me and he does bless me I just have to watch for the blessings , big , small or tiny they are always there.
I hope to put up our tree this weekend and start decorating too,,,
You are also right about the Tattoo and actually he does tell me to call more than I mention it and today we found out they have closed so he will have to go elsewhere,, and you know I wouldnt mind it so much it it was not her NAME,,,As much as I have tried to keep my Ego out of this I must admit it does hurt but you are right let go and let GOD,,,Thank you sweetheart you are a very Wonderful Man and may God keep blessing you ,, I am so proud of all the things you post,,, you are truly Amazing an inspiration... God bless,,,,
OUCH!!!!))) AND SHE WAXED MY LEGS TOO NOT THAT WAS AWESOME...... 
And you know what I like the new Me!!!! 