Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Husband is moving out on 2/17/07

I never thought about it like that. It makes a lot of sense.

I am working on the hobbies thing. It so hard to leave the house but I know that I have to. It would be impossible for him to know that I doing REALLY good without him hearing about it. We don't share any custody issue and minimal financial stuff, so I think our talks will be speratic. It's a scary world but I'm glad I have a newtork of support on this website. I also set up couseling apt with the site. The first one went well. I have another scheduled for next week. I imagine his move on Saturday is going to be a real shock. For the last month, I have just been waiting for him to leave but now it's here and I know I'll miss his dearly.

Good luck with the move in.

Thanks, I don't know what to do about the move out, but I would be strong, and help him. Don't show pain, show him you can be strong enough and be the better person. He needs to know that you are not dependant on him, because he will see it as a sign of weakness.

A week ago I asked My W if she wanted to see other people, and she didn't take it to well. But, I think I showed her that I wasn't depending on her, and she can't control me by waiting around for her. She said we should file if I was going to see someone else, but I told her I wasn't unless she was, because it was only fair. I wasn't serious, but it kind of made a point. I don't really know but, I just go with the flow sometimes. Be strong.

Wow, that took courage. Good for you, I think we sometimes feel like we have no control. They decide it's over and we are left asking what??? I think it's part of the process to show them we are still individuals and can and will make decisions without them. I think you left her thinking, that's for sure. My H and haven't even talked about the next step. I told him that we should just take it one step at a time. First he'll move out and after a few weeks we can sit and discuss where we are. I do not want to file for D. I would much rather file for legal separation and see where we are in 6 months. When he dropped the bomb, he was certain that divorce was the only answer. At least no whe hasn't pushed it, yet at least.

Well she keeps saying everytime we talk she doesn't see it working. I just tell her that I am changing and she says it's too late. I should have changed a year ago. Well, I have not given up, and the next step is going to be a big one. I am feeling like you, this step is going to either help or hurt, but there is only ine way to find out. That should be your approach, It may hurt but it's got to be done. Your M isn't right, and if it takes this to make it right, then you have to battle through it. If it doesn't help then, you getting right with yourself is healthy, and it should give you the strength to move on.

OB,

THe hobbies are for you. If you feel better, he'll notice, even in the limited interactions.

--theoden

Thanks Theoden! Now I just need to find out what I like. Once he's out, I think I'll have a chance to clear my head. Today is our tax apt. We spent about an hour going through paperwork and even laughed a little. He retreated to his bedroom but was back in my bed bright and early to "cuddle" with me before work. I said nothing about our R or asked any questions. I just enjoyed the time together. I am going to miss him lying next to me so much.

How are you doing today? Tax meeting go good?

We broke even. At least we don't owe. It's been tough but I feel a little stronger every day. Let me tell you about the last 24hours...

The BS only gets better every day! So we are two days away from the move out and last night Valentines night, it all breaks loose. You see my H hadnt told our SS18 (out of state). He was been calling but since my husband cant stand to be home, because he feels all the pain he is causing. Although I am a ray of sunshine and never ask about our R or M. So last night in a huge moment of weakness, I sobbed and cried to a girlfriend on the phone. She hung up and then the phone rang, I thought it was her but it was our S18 and of course he was concerned because I was crying. I told him that Dad wasnt home and he would have to call back. He pressed on but I told him that he had to speak to his father. He immediately called MIL and she (tired of the runaround) told him what was happening. He immediately tried his Dad but of course got his voicemail. Then called me back and we spent an hour crying together and trying to make sense of it all. I do not want him in the middle so I just reassured him that I loved him and our relationship would remain the same. My H finally arrived home and I told him how it was that he (SS18) found out and in a moment clarity he actually accepted responsibility. He knew he should have told him. He spoke to him briefly and told him his reasons. We then had a positive chat about us. I didn't not argue with him, I was just very supportive and told him that while I do not agree with him ending our marriage I understood that he "needs time". I told him that I am taking steps to be a better partner and I hope that he finds what he needs. I told him that we do not need to rush into anything and should just take some time to clear our heads. He asked that I not contact him after Saturday unless it urgent for at least two weeks. He stated, "I just want to be alone with my thoughts and on my own" I smiled politely and placed my hand on his knee and simply said, "Yes, I understand". He left our bedroom and I felt better about everything. I felt some closure and strength.
Of course at 6:10 am this morning he was back in my bed cuddling with me. I said nothing and just held him.

My SS18 called me an hour ago and just wanted to touch base with me. I of course, told him that I couldn't change his father and only wish him the best. I assured him that he would not be in the middle of our issues.

Okay so the conversation my H had with our SS18 went like this:

1. She doesn't make me happy anymore
2. I don't love her
3. Had we had a child I would never leave (not having children was a mutual decision)
4. She knew we had problems, it should have been no surprise to her

ALLLLLL BS!!!!

I am livid with him. I feel like he is just making excuses for himself and throwing me under the train.

What now my friends, how do I react with my H?

hi all,

I re-posted in a new forum

MLC

I thought it was more fitting. BYW, how do I thread and old log to my new one/