It took me a few minutes to figure out how to post...but I think we're good now. First, I've toured the town, and I'm glad to see Jack's back for an update and possibly an extended stay?? We missed you! It's been a busy couple of months, with ups and downs Work has been busy, commuting tough. I've lost almost 20 lbs- 19.5 this morning - since he left (had hit an all time high then). Still haven't got all of that Depo out of me, but it's getting there. I still think about why why why...but not nearly as often, and for the most part I accept the answers I come up with. He's been calling (5 times in 5 months) and last week 1 email(for me to call). I have not returned any of them. He's calling because he wants something, I am not eluded by that fact. He doesn't care if I need anything, am alive and well, or any related good will reasons. I've found out that basically most people have written him off. He's either lied to them, about me of other things, or hasn't paid them (funny, that's such a huge catalyst for people to write you off, where leaving your family is poo-pooed). Regardless, he's pretty much on his own right now. I'm sure he's got a new bunch of "friends" by now, but eventually they will tire of him. As she will. I don't believe he has a job, and I think she'll get tired of that too.
But all this is just to give you an update. I am doing well. I miss things occasionally, but not him so much. I don't concern myself with his goings-on. I curse him when my car doesn't work-lol. That's about it. The D is still dragging on - really through no effort of mine- he seems to be the "foot-dragger" most times, although he was all gung ho from the beginning.
I had a date. It was a dud, but that's ok. It was a practice really, to get my head in the right frame of mind. I have an idea of what I am looking for, and I want to prepare myself for when I am ready to grab hold of it. It may take awhile, but that's ok. I've learned patience if nothing else.
I'm still here though, because my friends are here, and I've learned too much to walk away now.
Oh...time is just too short- back to work- be back later... DBH
W2S- I miss you too- and I need to come back more. I've been sad at times and need to get away from it all. Silly things like emails that I haven't deleted yet-they come back to haunt me sometimes when I least expect it. Like ghosts. And that's what they are- ghosts of a relationship that doesn't exist anymore. Of a person who doesn't exist anymore. That just makes me sad. But it's also what keeps me going forward. Knowing that even if I stand and wait, he's not coming back on the road he left. And I've moved too far away from where I was to go back now. I've seen other roads and like the terrain.... DBH
(((DBH))). I'm really glad to see you've posted again. You sound like you are in a good, honest, spot. Sad, yes, but accepting and moving forward as well. I had to cringe at what you posted about people righting your H off because he owed them money, but not because he ran away from his family--too true isn't it. I'm learning those people are not necessarily ones I need in my life either!
...Just call me AH, the homonym and spelling impaired--that is "writing your H off", not "righting your H off". That's what I get for being too impatient to preview my posts!
I did I did- and I will be back tonight- have been following fig around the boards and now it's back to work time....boohoo stomp pout- HAHA I Love that! oh- quick update- 3 calls from H yesterday 1 email last week He's twirling in something.... magic money appeared in our savings account- I think he forgets it's still a joint account- I can see everything. not enough to bother with and blow my cover... Don't get excited, not good calls, he wants something, but I am still in the darkness...sadly, so are all his other friends...and they didn't even agonize over it for a year...(sigh)
