quote:Originally posted by Nikki1: Ok... why do all of our respective cheating spouses... (ok.. not all but from reading here and my personal experience) feel like their cheating is either irrelevant or, worse, justified in some way? Some even seem to feel like there is nothing wrong with it!
I am a big one for trying to see things from the other side.. (probably my Libra personality)..so, I can actually understand the mistaken affair.. (the one night mistake), I can understand due to close quarters with some one... thinking an feeling you are in love with them.. and again, it slipping into a physical affair... but here is where I disconnet....If I did that... I would feel SOOOO guilty, so bad about the harm inflicted on my spouse because I know it is wrong to have an affair... even if my spouse was a wife beater or a horrible H, it is just wrong to sleep with another while married.. that is just black and white.. no shades of grey! With kids involved.. again.. no matter how justified I felt because of the neglect of a spouse.. I could not imagine feeling incredible guilt about breaking up the children'sfamily unit.. their way of life and inflicting.. imposing another way of life upon them... so where do these people GET OFF being so arragant... being so sure they are right for what they have done and are doing? Where do they get their certainty of direction from? I am so far along in my process.. I am just waiting for a order to be entered and if he asked to come back.. I would at least think about it... put things on hold due to the number of years we had together.. due to our childrens welfare... I mean this is crazy! whoever came up with the idea that divorce was a solution to marital problems 9except for abuse)..was crazy! It just opens up a whole can of another wormsd! sorry had to vent!
This is exactly what I'm going through. My H has been seeing Ows almost since the beginning and he shows no remorse. Its just like "I did it and now what"
MsHGoody: hang in there... this will be the ride of your life.. it is painful and if you have kids, your pain will be compounded by what you see the kids go through... the best advice I can give you is get help dealing with this.. from friends, family and from a counselor and/or priest.... good luck.
