Remember your thought about her wanting to control you. This would be one of her methods. I am sure she wanted to solicit a reaction from you, even if it could not be good. I guess she finally notices you are not affected by her and she has contributed it to your change of heart for OW, so she is acting in extremes. I am sure it is not a deliberate decision. Don't give her the benefit of reacting to it.
Observation based on my own experiences as the psycho Woman for some time when my husband and I first separated.
You are right. I think part of it is because she thought you would wait for her to give it a try with OM and if it didn't work out to come back to you.
Have not talked to her since her anger outburst yesterday. She leaves a message on my cell phone this morning saying,,, "fine, don't answer your phone, I could care less if your mad at me. I want to remind you I need $70.00 dollars from you for S6 spring baseball sign up. Also, league wants to know if your interested in coaching again this year to which I told them most likely not seeing the situation your in".
So now, she thinks I'm mad at her. I don't waste my energy being mad at her anymore. I didn't get two words in edge wise in yesterday's conversation, so I'm not sure why she thinks I'm mad. I'm just trying to avoid her like I would avoid somebody like say... Norman Bates
I guess She's now making decisions for me on me coaching this year. What does she mean considering "MY" situation? It doesn't affect my ability to coach or participate in other activities. Why does she think she's the center of my universe?
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
okay, in order to make things honest, I AM rooting for YOU. your wife is crazy and etc.
but, i am uncomfortable with you technically having an A before a D is final. JMO, and I still like you and don't judge b/c lord knows, i am hurting for some affection and fun over here in my personal stepford. just wanted to put that out there. do you have any conflict over that? please know that i am not trying to 'cause a scene' - i just am curious and ALL FOR YOU! (rah, rah and all that!)
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
Most WASs (or so it appears) are going through a period where they are completely self-absorbed, selfish, and narcissistic. Everything is about them...what they want, what they need, what they're not getting, what you're not doing...yada yada yada. I'd bet what you're seeing is the anger that comes from realizing that your world no longer hinges on hers.
She will have to work through this. The result may be that she rages for the rest of her life (or for many, many years) blaming others because she hasn't the strength of character to accept responsibility herself or she may get it out of her system and develop a more rational and mature perspective. For your sake I hope it's the latter. But right now there's no way to know.
Just don't let it get you down and don't let her draw you in. If you want to coach, contact them directly and just express your interest (or disinterest, if that's the case). But don't respond to her. She wants to drag you into an altercation so she can create new reasons to blame you for everything that is wrong rather than look at herself in the mirror. Don't give her the chance.
[quote=believing_isaiah43] do you have any conflict over that? quote]
If I had any moral conflict over it, the State's recognition of our dissolution wouldn't change that.
I don't feel morally conflicted over it, but I am starting to have some concerns on a practical level. I've already slowed it way down with OW during the last two weeks and she's been very understanding about it. I told her I would understand if she wanted to move on. I think she wanted more from me than I was willing to give right now anyway. I didn't expect for it to go this far anyway.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I completely understand what your saying and I agree. I've very elusive when she's in these dark moods. I'm very calm about the whole situation and I'm not going to let her get me down. She knows I enjoyed coaching and that's why she told them that. It's no problem, I'm still going to coach despite her.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
W stopped by my place after work unexpectedly today for the BB money. She never calls, just stops by whenever she feels like it. I requested an apology from her for her behavior and foul language she used towards me last Wednesday. She looked at me like I was crazy and said... "I'm not apologizing for anything". I told her I wasn't going to give her the BB money until she did. I told her I wouldn't accept or show that disrespect with a stranger and I wasn't going to accept it from her. She paused for a minute with her mouth agape, then said, I'm sorry. I said apology accepted, gave her the money, placed my hand on her ass and gently guided her out the front door.
I know this isn't good DB'ing, but boy did I feel great about it. The surprised look on her face was priceless. She hasn't apologized for anything in her life. I'm still grinning ear to ear. If you knew the head strong pride and ego of this Woman, you would understand the significance of that exchange. I can't believe she broke down over 70 bucks and I probably would have given it to her even if she didn't apologize.
Astime - good on ya!! - Regardless of whether it is a good DB technique or not!
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
for some time when my husband and I first separated. 