Quote: I never admit to it, but I still have a tinge of it.
Just a tinge?-LOL. I remember when you posted on Heather's thread that if you were her H you would have blown up the truck she met the other guy in. I admire that about you. Don't change. Of course, consider the source, grain of salt etc.
Quote: From the pillow talks I have had on the subject I dont believe that women do feel sexual jealousy like men do.
I used to and that is probably what made me HD. Telling myself that rationally it serves no purpose for a women is helpful for me in that regard. When my H was having an EA with a girl at work, I had constant fantasies of doing things like sneaking into her house and putting Nair into her shampoo bottle. I did have my younger sister who was in her social circle and more popular than her spread terrible rumors about her. What purpose did this serve me? Nothing good in either the short or long run.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
On the radio this am I heard a story about a young woman whose best friend was having an affair with her boyfriend. The two ladies then went skydiving together - the one seeing the guy on the side didn't make it back. Chick #1 is now in jail. Whew - harsh. I've always wondered among women why they tend to blame the other woman not the guy for these kinds of things. I mean, the man does have a functioning brain and choices to make. If he is cheating and lying - that is about him as much as her.
Quote: I've always wondered among women why they tend to blame the other woman not the guy for these kinds of things. I mean, the man does have a functioning brain and choices to make. If he is cheating and lying - that is about him as much as her.
Hmmmm. Generally, my current take on the matter is that it is totally irrational and counter-productive of anything. However, I think it happens that way because you feel possessive towards "your man". Also, at least in my case, there was a certain amount of maternal instinct involved as in "Don't be messin' with my babies' Daddy or I'm gonna slap you upside the head. You hear me, Girl?".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I so wish I could hear you say that out loud. That isn't to say I wouldn't be pissed at the woman too but I'm just fascinated by those Jerry Springer scenarios where all these women are fighting over this one worthless guy.
When I was a teenager I ran with some tough "burn-out" girls for a while. There was this one really tough girl who was a friend of a friend. One day we were all hanging out behind the high school and this tough girl went up to another girl and said "I'd as soon see you dead as ever see you talking to (my boyfriend) again.". I actually broke up with my second boyfriend/lover when I was a teenager because a tougher girl (sort of a Pamela Anderson type) wanted him. I was sort of the pet nerd of these girls who were mostly somewhat older than me. They took me to parties and I did their homework for them.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I'm dragging this quote from BF over to my own thread because it's probably both the nicest and the most helpful thing anyone has said to me in a long time. (I knew there was a reason I wanted him to be my SIL. Note: Sure sign that I am feeling relatively LD is that I start seeing all men as either too young or too old to be sexual partners for me.-LOL)
Quote:
I think your the only one who doesnt see you as soft gentle and fragile
I was thinking about this and it was sort of like a lightbulb went off for me. Do I want to be perceived as manly? NO. Do I try to act manly? NO. So why do I have this perception that I am not very feminine?
Here are the nicknames I have been given over the years. "Bunny" (My H AND another man), "Fluff" and "Jenny the Pooh". I am clearly terrifying in my toughness.
So here is my femininity mantra. I am soft, bouncy, cuddly, pettable, hyper-sexually receptive and utterly defenseless. How am I going to survive? It is terrifying to be me.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
So here is my femininity mantra. I am soft, bouncy, cuddly, pettable, hyper-sexually receptive and utterly defenseless. How am I going to survive? It is terrifying to be me.
How, indeed?
I've always picked up on the first five categories. The utterly defenseless is going to be the hardest one for you to pull off.
I've always picked up on the first five categories. The utterly defenseless is going to be the hardest one for you to pull off.
Thanks.-LOL-. I was scaring myself for a minute. That bunny analogy had me thinking no claws, no teeth, no scaly armour etc. But then I remembered I can always hop down a hole, or into a cookie jar, or into a book, or on to this BB etc.. Perhaps hopping down the bunny hole is the equivalent of the defense of "deflection" that LP and Cobra are always telling me that I use.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Okay that was a cr*ppy femininity mantra because a mantra is supposed to be something that you are affirming and why would I want to affirm myself for being "utterly defenseless" or "hyper" anything? So I shall amend it to read "I am soft, bouncy, cuddly, pettable, remarkably sexually responsive and vulnerable when not in hiding.". The last bit should remind me not to hide because it's okay to be vulnerable.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
