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Hey man - you didn't tell me you finally made the jump. Congrats. Glad you're doing it and hopefully one day I will be able to join you here. 1 in 4 right?

So - I'll throw my 2 cents in and say that most of your interactions have been planned in advance. Because of that, you have always had the chance to get your game face on. You have been doing that for a while - so when an interaction changes from an expected 5 minutes to an hour...well of course that is going to throw you off some. It just takes time bud. The more date nights, game nights, etc that you have the easier that will become.

Remember the day when she dropped in on you guys at the movies..same kind of thing.


Scott: 38
X: 39
M: 13yrs D: 12/12/08
S9, D8, S6
MLC/EA/PA
Bomb: 8/10/06 S: 01/07 Asked for D: 05/07 Mediation 07/07

"And when all's been said and done
It's the things that are given, not won
Are the things that you want"
- Gomez; See the World
swashy #906681 01/24/07 06:08 PM
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Quote:

Congrats. Glad you're doing it and hopefully one day I will be able to join you here.


ditto. Take it slowly. I am expecting to see you listed on the success stories soon.


Me: 41
H: 42
Married: 13Y, together 24
Kids: S11, S9, D6
Bomb: 7/11/06, now piecing
swashy #906682 01/24/07 06:24 PM
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Hi swashy et al.

Just curious, where does this # come from?

1 in 4 right?

I'm suspecting this is 25% of serparations reconcile, or something like that?

Just curious.... since statistics like this are both context and definition
dependant.

Thake care, and nice tom see sfa having/causing some good progress for his own
situation. Wish all WAS were as receptive....


S_O_T_S
aka: Stoic_On_The_Surface

I can't quite get there cause my heart's forsaken me - KT Tunstall

Take away this ball and chain - Social Distortion

M: 10/3/04 - 5/23/07
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Hey Stoic - the 1 in 4 is just something between Ian and I. We just joke around about my odds of saving my marriage. It actually started with Dumb & Dumber. "More like 1 in a million. So you're saying I'VE GOT A CHANCE!"



Scott: 38
X: 39
M: 13yrs D: 12/12/08
S9, D8, S6
MLC/EA/PA
Bomb: 8/10/06 S: 01/07 Asked for D: 05/07 Mediation 07/07

"And when all's been said and done
It's the things that are given, not won
Are the things that you want"
- Gomez; See the World
swashy #906684 01/24/07 08:31 PM
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Hey Ian- I know what you mean. H has done it on many occasions.

My thoughts are this. At least for me I'm afraid to relax and whatever (I kept busy too!) because what if the next time he doesn't stay longer. What if he decides he doesn't want to get back together and I get hurt again? What if I get comfortable and he pulls back and leaves me hanging again? What if he starts hanging out here more and we slip back into old habits and things go sour?

So know if he hangs around, I invite him to help me wash the dishes, or to watch the news with me, or to run an errand with me.

I become pro-active instead of reactive. I think that is why H and I are where we are right now.

make sense?


T: 23 M:20
S:17 D:14
Bomb 1: 07/05
Busted: 07
Bomb 2: 07/10
D papers: 11/11

True love doesn't come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly--Jason Jordan
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Hi Ian,
You are not whining.. You know I would be the first to call you out on that..


found out about affair 8/06
H moves out Nov/06
D final 8/07
X re marries OW 5/08
_________________________
Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow".
-- Mary Anne Radmacher


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good morning Ian... just wanted to pop by and offer my support today. Make it a great day. I won't accept anything less!!


I matter.

Me 32
xH 33
D7, D5
BOMB 9/27/06
D final 4/3/08
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Thanks Jules So I have come to realize that it is a whole different set of pitfalls that one has to watch out for once you get into the recommiting phase. Different kinds of feelings that run through your mind.

I am going away next week to Phoenix for a trade show, I leave next Wednesday morning and am gone until Sunday afternoon. W's birthday is the day that I get back. So last time I left for work I was down really bad from the moment that I got on the plane, I struggled very hard on that trip. This time I am a little different, I am not scared, I am however recognizing that I don't really want to be away from my W for that long. I know that the space can be good for us, however we have had such great interactions lately that I don't want to go that long without seeing each other. I will be fine, just hate that the trip comes so soon into our piecing stage.

W also dropped by again last night, we did homework with my S10 together and it was very nice. The coparenting aspect has been missing for some time now and I think my S10 really loved having both of us helping him out and working together. She also confirmed the travel dates for our weekend away together, we had discussed doing this to have some alone time and rekindle some of the romance. We will be going to Orlando for the weekend on February 23rd. My W is a theme park nut, loves the rides and adventure of it all so we thought Orlando would be a perfect getaway. We also went over our trip to Scotland in June and the various places that we want to visit and such. That will be a wonderful vacation for just the 2 of us as well. The kids will be in Colorado with their grandparents so it will be great not having any concerns about the kids for those 9 days.


Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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sounds really nice, Ian, that you have some alone time scheduled. What are you going to do to change your PMA for this Phoenix trip????


I matter.

Me 32
xH 33
D7, D5
BOMB 9/27/06
D final 4/3/08
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,147
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I have no idea Jules, thats why I posted it, looking for suggestions for the trip. Used to be when I went to these shows the nights were spent at the, ummmm, adult clubs I have to change that around this trip as it just isnt where I need to be. So any suggestions for things to do in Phoenix would be most welcomed...

Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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