So, after taking some time and talking with friends, I am actually thinking about asking my XW out on a date. Is this wise? Am I reading too much into these visits????
I may be wrong but from what I read, I think you should give it a shot. From a woman's point of view it sounds like she is dropping hints. I could be wrong but I don't think so.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Thanks for the response. I plan to call her on Wed night to ask her out this weekend. Will keep you updated on the outcome. Thanks for the insight. Love to get everyones' opinion as we all know, they just love to play with our minds sometimes.
Let me ask you something....what have you got to lose? The worst that can happen is that she'll say "no" or "I don't think that's a good idea". She has already divorced you, so what worse could occur? Just make it casual and make sure that you aren't too heavily invested in the outcome/her reply. If she shoots you down, just say, "no problem" and don't ask her again. Proceed dating someone that actually wants to see you...same as you would with any other woman that shot you down.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
I am sitting on pins and needles waiting for an update. Hope it went well.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Sounds like she was testing the waters, do you think that she was trying to find out if there is any room in your life for her now? I get the feeling that she was waiting for you to tell her that the woman you are dating is not that important. Was she wanting you to say that you want to be more than friends?
I am not trying to give you false hope but sometimes woman don't say what they mean and she may be afraid of being rejected by you.
If it were me, I'd be taking this explanation with a grain of salt. I acknowledge there often exists a difference in communication styles between genders and for a man to have a heathly relationship with a woman, a basic understanding of girl-ese is necessary but in this example and even if it were accurate, would be an extremely disturbing low.
Imaging living with someone like that? Someone that is unable to express themselves without the use of unknown codes, where you had to tippy toe around hoping that your decipher was accurate, where you never knew where you stood, where you were expected to mind read and expected to do uncommunicated deeds because if you didn't, it was a sign that you were unsuitable.
No thanks. Time to clear the decks to make room for someone in your life that can communicate. Not all women are such poor communicators.
God Bless
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
I really was not indicating anything about her communication style. In this case, I was wondering if she was afraid to come out and say exactly what she means for fear of being rejected, after all, she was the one to WA and get a D, so that might make her a little gunshy. I was just commenting on the things she was asking him.
I don't think being afraid to risk rejection is limited to this woman or any woman for that matter. Many men are afraid of admitting they have make a mistake or asking if the door is still open.
How many men casually ask if a woman is married or make a comment about someone's spouse just to see if they are married.
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If it were me, I'd be taking this explanation with a grain of salt.
I am not really sure my comment warranted this remark but I guess you are entitled to your opinion. I was just offering an observation, I never claimed to be an expert.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I went through something similar to this myself last month. My first question wasn't about what she wanted or didn't want, but what I wanted. I assume enough time has passed for you to ask these same questions.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I think as long as you can keep detached and not have any expectations there's no harm in asking her to do something. Just make sure that if she takes up your offer you keep things at a slow-paced friendship level for self-protection (and if for some weird reason she doesn't take up your offer don't take it personal).
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
