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I'm not looking for support here. I was married. My husband cheated on me. I didn't blame the OWs because it was his fault, not theirs. Partially my fault too. Whether they knew, didn't know, they didn't force him to pull down his pants. And I believe you have to learn from mistakes in past relationships to make future ones better. I've also learned that opposites might attract, but you have to have commonalities in order to stay together. You can't blame a third party for your husband or wife's actions. The decision is ultimately theirs whether to cheat or not. What exactly is a troll anyway?

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I'm not looking for support here. I was married. My husband cheated on me. I didn't blame the OWs because it was his fault, not theirs. Partially my fault too. Whether they knew, didn't know, they didn't force him to pull down his pants. And I believe you have to learn from mistakes in past relationships to make future ones better. I've also learned that opposites might attract, but you have to have commonalities in order to stay together. You can't blame a third party for your husband or wife's actions. The decision is ultimately theirs whether to cheat or not. What exactly is a troll anyway?




are you serious??????

So what did you learn from your previous marriage? That it's ok for the men to cheat, and you'll be there to help them?


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

me=ok /D'd since 7/07
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And so you know your R with your married boy friend isn't going to last. I would call it quits, pick yourself up and consider this a bad learning experience.

Good luck,

Flying High




Hey Flying High? Who are you to say what will last and what won't? My father married his OW. Happens all the time.

Is there some reason we can't have a discussion here? Do you think I'm the only OW who reads this board, maybe they'll start coming out too. No one is forcing you to read my comments and respond.

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Yes, I am serious. No, I learned that it takes two to tango, two to ruin a relationship. I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, but it happens all the time., it's part of life, you're naive if you don't think so. Anyone can be a victim of cheating, my point is that it's the person in the marriage that bears the responsibility, they took the vow. And it's the spouse's responsibility as well, because people don't cheat for no reason, and people don't want out of a marriage for no reason. I already said it's obviously not the ideal situation, I don't think you wake up one day and say, I'm going to go after a married man, it's circumstance. Is that that hard for you to understand?

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If they'll do it with you, they'll do it TO you...


M: 29
H: 27
Married: 6/22/02
Bomb: 6/12/06
H moved out: 6/16/06
Signed D papers: 1/8/07
D final: 5/14/07




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Yes, I am serious. No, I learned that it takes two to tango, two to ruin a relationship. I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, but it happens all the time., it's part of life, you're naive if you don't think so. Anyone can be a victim of cheating, my point is that it's the person in the marriage that bears the responsibility, they took the vow. And it's the spouse's responsibility as well, because people don't cheat for no reason, and people don't want out of a marriage for no reason. I already said it's obviously not the ideal situation, I don't think you wake up one day and say, I'm going to go after a married man, it's circumstance. Is that that hard for you to understand?




I don't think you should be rude -- you KNEW your posts wouldn't be welcomed. People are here trying to save their marriages......and you're promoting that this "man" continue his affair with you and be honest with his wife.

YES - he should be honest with his wife. So tell him to grow a set and lay it out - WHAT does he want? And like others have said - if he's lying to her, how do you know he's not lying to you?

And if you've learned a lesson, that it takes two people - and from your posts - the OP is not responsible at ALL for this relationship, then you have no guilt now eh? You don't see that you're not a welcome addition to their marriage? Seriously?



....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

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Alright, you are right you have all the right in the world to post here. As well as everyone else has all the right to respond. You must realize the forum that you are in. Alot of people here are going through a very rough time still, myself included, and really do not want to hear about someone being invloved in ruining a M. Guess what you can disagree all you want but you are part of ruining a M. Yes it was his descision to cheat but it was your descision to be involved with a M man. Saying that I would have to say that your morals are pretty low and that you could never respect family values. I am not trying to be a d!ck here but like I said (and I am grouping you into the catagory) people like you are part of the reason that we are all here. Not 100% of the reason but a diecent chunk.

Saying my 2 cents is all I wanted to do now I will leave you along to see IF you can find what you are looking for on this MARRIAGE SAVING BB.

Sorry,
O


Ben 32
STBXW 29
3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months)
Status: Fighting for the Kids.

"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
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Utterly Alone,
By the way, I just read your story, you cheated on your husband...so why are you acting so righteous? It happens, doesn't it. You called him childish for saving a picture of your OM on his phone? Not really thinking about the fact that YOU hurt him and he is being a little obsessive. Did your OM drag you kicking and screaming to bed? Isn't this the pot calling the kettle black.

What I am promoting is that he be honest with her period. Not backpedaling because she threatens him with his children. Do you think that's right? That someone can't leave because your children are being held over your head?

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Utterly Alone,
By the way, I just read your story, you cheated on your husband...so why are you acting so righteous? It happens, doesn't it. You called him childish for saving a picture of your OM on his phone? Not really thinking about the fact that YOU hurt him and he is being a little obsessive. Did your OM drag you kicking and screaming to bed? Isn't this the pot calling the kettle black.

What I am promoting is that he be honest with her period. Not backpedaling because she threatens him with his children. Do you think that's right? That someone can't leave because your children are being held over your head?





I wouldn't say self righteous sweetie -- I actually LEARNED my lesson and am sorry for what I did. I didn't have it done to me, and then pay it forward to someone else.

YOU KNOW how you felt -- and you're engaging in the same behavior!

Buy a clue.


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

me=ok /D'd since 7/07
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and to be quite honest - your posts seem a bit selfish. You're wanting him for yourself, not considering his family that he's made, his wife that as far as we know has been loyal to him, regardless of his past.

Are you concerned about his kids? No. You want him to leave so he can be all yours (until someone else comes along....) - and you're not considering his kids or his family.

Think about it.

I just find it hard to believe that you actually had this done to you - and you're justifying doing it to someone else....


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

me=ok /D'd since 7/07
D=ok
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